daisy88 Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Hi all, I have revised my perosnal statement countless times. Please critcize harshly! Any help is very much welcomed. I also need to cut it down a little so any help in letting me know what I can cut out would be great! I have marked out my name and work location with astericks I hope that is ok. Thank you! Here it is: “***", guess what my xbox video name is.” He replied, “One ball canopy.” I laughed, for I was ignorant of what he meant. I later learned he used this name since he had one testicle. I reflected on how much the eight-year old boy must have been through, yet I considered it light and made fun of his condition. I wanted to do more to help soothe his mind and experience, along with his parents, but lacked the expertise. This is one of the memorable moments I experienced while working at ***** *****. This increased my desire to pursue a career as a physician assistant, with the aim of expanding my knowledge, skills and techniques for the sake of assisting people suffering from various medical conditions. This journey took me through several avenues characterized by different “aha” moments heightening my interest in healthcare and shaping my interest in becoming a physician assistant. I was born and raised in India in a financially challenged family, and this meant poor living conditions and lack of social amenities. These conditions motivated my parents to migrate to the United States to provide us with a better life and education. In the United States, I experienced the hurdle of joining college due to my immigration status and being considered an international student, even though I had been in the United States since elementary school. This also prevented me from applying to graduate or doctorate programs. I took these challenges as an opportunity to volunteer and work in various health care institutions where I was able to acquire a wealth of information and life changing experiences. These challenges notwithstanding, I now have a degree and with my diverse cultural background and challenging experiences, I can further my education now to help a diverse disadvantage population. My family has a background in business and the idea of joining the healthcare department, therefore, seemed farfetched. Despite the fact that I was surrounded by business , I was always fascinated by science. This interest drove me to seek advice from my college advisor who further strengthened my passion and interest in the healthcare profession. He told me the field of medicine was not just a world of treating and helping, and helped me change my view of healthcare as treating sick patients to a “life of science and study of medicine” as he always said. This conversation began my search for my own meaning of “life of science and study of medicine.” I became a member of Alpha Epsilon Delta and Medical Careers Club. I continued to volunteer at various departments in healthcare institutions and other places away from our Medical Careers Club. Some of the most memorable volunteering experiences are when we would take gifts and crafts to children at Hospital. The smile and joy on a children’s face when we give them gifts and play with them was always something I loved seeing. Volunteering at Emergency Department taught me how fast-paced the life in the ER is. I would help patients fill out their forms and take them back to their rooms continuously without time to rest. The ER went from being calm one moment to a fast paced trauma 1 level, everyone running around, every-second-counts kind of environment the next moment. I observed the physician assistant in the ER; they were seen to be working in the fast track and had their independent interaction with the patients. If they needed to consult and advice on how to deal with the patients, doctors were always available. They also had enough independence to diagnose and treat these patients. Each volunteering experience increased my passion for medicine as I saw how professionalism in healthcare encompasses passion, positive interaction with patients, understanding and coping with others, and genuine desire to help. One major experience that shaped my interest was at the *****. I saw the reality of healthcare and found the meaning of “life science and study of medicine” as my advisor had said. I developed a close relationship with the children who came for chemotherapy or infusions. I used to bring them candies and they nicknamed me “the candy lady.” One boy who comes for transfusions every three weeks nicknamed me “Bimple.” I would play with him and give him company during his recovery. One day, he ran out to me before starting his transfusion, forcing me to hold and reassure him before the transfusion. This attachment enabled me understand patients and their needs. Making the child comfortable and their parents at peace while helping the nurse start his medication was my “aha” moment where I wanted to become closer with patients, know their history, and give them hope of recovering. I wanted a career enabling me to have these interactions; this was the place where I saw doctors, nurses, and other staff dedicating their lives exchange and acquire information in a bid to save lives of children.It made me realize healthcare is not just about healing and treating patients, but it is about the comfort and peace of mind you give to patients and patients’ families as you treat them. I wanted to experience more “aha” moments and these interaction . This solidified my interest in pursuing a career of healthcare and particularly of a physician assistant. To solidify my interest in my career as a physician assistant, I shadowed different physician assistants and learned their activities revolved around what I loved doing. I saw them interact with patients beyond diagnosis and treatment, at a personal level. The physician assistant knew patients personally as if they were a part of their family who they can rely on when needed. I noticed that the physician assistants had a variety of roles in the clinic. Not only did they have their own patients to treat and interact with, but also if they needed help they would have the doctors to look to for advice. For example, the PA I shadowed at the dermatology clinic had her own patients and her own schedule independent of the doctors throughout the day, just as the doctors had their own. These patients were seen only by the PA, yet if she needed any help or had to perform a minute surgical process then the doctor was there to aid her. The volunteering and shadowing healthcare professionals enabled me to grasp various practices involved in the successful provision of quality services from the moment a patient is admitted to when he or she gets discharged. As I reflect on my journey, I acknowledge the different events shaping my interest. My family taught me how to overcome challenges through dedication. Being called “Bimple” or bringing a smile to a child and his mother’s face in the ER, along with my experiences from the physician assistants I shadowed, heightened my interest in becoming a physician assistant. I will learn the practice of medicine at a higher level and provide care at a personal level with frequent interactions with patients in healthcare institutions through a career as a physician assistant. Together with my skills and passion, I will continue to practice a career where I have interactions with patients and families as a PA and provide quality healthcare improving the well-being of patients, while contributing to a healthy America. Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daisy88 Posted June 28, 2014 Author Share Posted June 28, 2014 Someone please pretty please help poor me with some constructive criticism on my statement above! Thank you in advance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paigger727 Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 overall, i would say it is a little too wordy and that you have really long sentences. I think what you need is to start over with a simple idea and express it throughout the paper. you included so much information in it that I really did not get a real sense of who you are. read the post "30 year journey". that is a well written essay with a point that draws u in the beginning and a great closing paragraph. simplify your idea of what you want to write about. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topsy Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 overall, i would say it is a little too wordy and that you have really long sentences. I think what you need is to start over with a simple idea and express it throughout the paper. you included so much information in it that I really did not get a real sense of who you are. read the post "30 year journey". that is a well written essay with a point that draws u in the beginning and a great closing paragraph. simplify your idea of what you want to write about. Good luck! Thaaaaaaaaaaaaanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daisy88 Posted July 9, 2014 Author Share Posted July 9, 2014 Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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