Applying Soon, Would Love Feedback (Rough Draft)

[RCKimeryJr]

Hello everyone,

 

I would greatly appreciate any feedback on this rough draft of my personal statement. It is currently 60 words over limit but I like the general direction that I have taken with it.

 

 

My passion and commitment to health and wellness is a significant part of my identity. What started as doing pull-ups in my bunk bed has evolved into a rewarding career as a personal trainer. For the past four years my experiences have allowed me to build relationships amongst a diverse population of clients. By believing in a holistic approach to health and being a true advocate for their successes, I have been able to better the lives of numerous people which has been a truly rewarding experience. After completing my associate’s degree however, my desire to help others evolved and I yearned to be able to do more by furthering my scope of practice. I wanted to be to begin treating and diagnosing patients while continuing to educate and establish relationships amongst a diverse and unique population. It is for these reasons I began preparing for a future career as a physician assistant.

           

After researching the admissions requirements for physician assistant school, I knew the road ahead was going to be an arduous task. Having graduated with a mere 2.74 GPA from community college, I knew I was going to have to perform exemplary during the pursuit of my bachelor’s degree. To better prepare myself for the diverse patients I would treat and the diversified health care providers I would eventually work in collaboration with, I chose to go to UMBC, an honors college known for its diversity amongst the student population. Learning to communicate with people from numerous cultures and backgrounds allowed me to gain a newfound appreciation and understanding of the diversity that exists in our world. Another significant factor that has better prepared me for PA school is my degree in interdisciplinary studies. Most problems we face in this world (especially in the medical arena) are complex and multi-causal with many factors leading to their existence. As a PA, it will be crucial to approach patient treatment and diagnosis, as well as working in a team-based approach with other health care professionals, from an integrative approach that incorporates insight and understanding from a variety of perspectives and disciplines. The young, naïve, kid, that thought he knew everything five years ago is no longer. Instead, in his place is a young man that has come to truly appreciate the value of education and stands by his summa cum laude achievement as testament to this statement.

           

The experiences in which I have gained through working in preventative medicine, treatment, and post-mortem care, has allowed me to further my insight and gain a more clinically developed mindset.  After shadowing several PA’s across a broad range of specialties, I am certain that this is the best fit for me and my life goals. To have the autonomy to make important decisions while also working as part of a larger medical team is the perfect fit for me. Despite the challenge that this process has been, I have not once reconsidered my chosen path. In fact, I am thankful for having to have taken the more difficult path because it has forever changed my mindset and my ability to perform under pressure. In conclusion, from these experiences I have developed a true appreciation for what it takes to become a physician assistant and it is for these reasons that I seek to expand my ability to help others in this new role.