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PS Rough Draft - Any Help Appreciated!

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Hi everyone! This is a rough draft of my ps. I'm not sure if I talk too much about what I have done to get where I am vs. WHY I want to be a PA. Any help, edits, advice, etc. would be AMAZING!! Thanks :)




I remember it like it was yesterday. It started as an ordinary Saturday morning during November of my senior year of high school. My two sisters and I were eating breakfast in the kitchen and our younger brother was running around the house crashing his matchbox cars into every object that got in his way. The phone rang but we all thought nothing of it. Our Dad, who was upstairs at that moment, must have answered it because seconds later he came racing down the stairs in a panic. “Your Grandmother had a stroke; we’re going to the hospital to see her.”


For the next half hour or so everything was a blur. Before I knew it, we had arrived at the hospital and were walking through its entrance. My Mom was already there, as she was an RN on the Labor and Delivery unit of that hospital at the time. When we got to my Grandmas room, I remember feeling scared, confused and sad. Seeing her helplessly lie there, incapable of moving anything on the right side of her body brought me to tears. After spending hours waiting inside and out of her room, taking turns holding her hand and telling her stories, the depth of the situation finally began to sink in.


Over the next few weeks my family made frequent visits to the hospital to visit my Grandma, who seemed to be improving. I found myself paying closer attention to all of the medical professionals that were working attentively on the unit, and it was evident that my Grandma was in very good hands. I started becoming increasingly more captivated by the atmosphere and energy within the hospital. There were techs, nurses, physician assistants (PAs), physicians and others who routinely made their rounds to check in with my Grandma, but I took special notice to one PA specifically. Her personality, knowledge, patience, and compassion truly inspired me. I had always been interested in healthcare, but I never knew what direction the interest would take me in. Upon doing my own research of the PA profession and observing them closely in the hospital during visits to see my Grandma, I quickly realized that this would be the profession I wanted to peruse. I wanted to be the one behind the scenes treating and caring for various patients, working as a team to heal the ill and impaired. This was the direction I wanted to head in; the direction towards becoming a PA.


My freshman year of college was spent at Penn State and although I have fond memories of my experiences and involvement there, it ultimately was not the school I envisioned myself graduating from. I proceeded to transfer to Stony Brook University and decided on a major in biology. In addition to completing the pre-requisite courses for most PA programs, I challenged myself by taking upper division biology classes as well as other challenging, in-depth science courses. Although I lack a perfect GPA, these courses have truly provided me with extensive knowledge and a solid foundation in the natural sciences that will support me in my future as a PA.


Becoming highly involved in the Adapted Aquatics program at Stony Brook was one of the best decisions I have made. It provided me with a unique opportunity to learn and work directly with individuals suffering from various disabilities. Each week disabled community members would meet at the University pool for therapy sessions provided by students. We collaborated with Occupational and Physical Therapists, as well as each other, to create individualized plans to meet the needs of every participant. In addition to gaining my instructorship in Adapted Aquatics, I obtained instructorships in: water safety, BLS for the healthcare provider and Advanced First Aid. During this time I also assisted the Director of the Adapted Aquatics program as a Teaching Assistant and acquired a variety of skills that I am confident will help me in the future as a PA student as well as a practicing PA.


Extensive volunteering, participating in one of Stony Brooks first Co-op programs as a mental health counselor with the YAI Network and embarking on an international Medical/Dental Brigade to underserved communities in Panama are additional things I have done throughout my college career to gain further understanding and exposure to various healthcare settings. After graduating, I began working as a NYS Certified Nursing Assistant in a nursing and rehabilitation facility. Being the primary caretaker for the residents and patients within the facility I have mastered the fundamentals of direct patient care, and have evolved an extensive understanding of geriatric medicine.


Additionally, I have taken numerous opportunities to shadow PAs in a variety of settings. With their ability to work collaboratively with other members of the healthcare team, as well as make decisions autonomously to help diagnose and treat illnesses, PAs truly have a lot to offer. All of my experiences have been positive and inspiring as I have witnessed how crucial their presence in healthcare is and the extensive work they are expected to shoulder.


My Grandmother has since passed, but she will remain an angel that led me to the discovery of the PA profession. Over the next year I plan to continue working as a Nursing Assistant as well as seek out new shadowing opportunities.  I hope to one day be practicing in this versatile career, taking care of patients of my own. My desire to become a PA is genuine and I am ready to accept all challenges that I will soon face as I set forth on this journey. I am confident that with continued dedication and hard work I am able to achieve this dream.

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I liked the first three paragraphs, but then things went into resume mode.


You have a good story, but I'd focus less on what you have done, in other words what is written on your resume and on the application. You want to add color and personality to what you have done, not just say what you have done. Stories and examples are your friend. 

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