Narrative Help!!! 2nd time (hopefully last) applicant

[mfray]

It was four in the morning in the ICU at University Medical Center when a resident and I reviewed the CT scan of a patient’s head and spine. The scan looked good and we would revisit the patient in the morning. I was back at the hospital less than 4 hours later only to find the patient was going for another scan. I was standing just outside the patient’s room with the internist, neurologist and his PA going over the new CT scan. They turned to me and said, "As you can see, there is swelling on the brain now. We will run further tests to determine the severity. The meningitis has advanced faster than we anticipated. The probability of him being brain dead is very high. Sorry ma’am, but there is not much we can do for your husband." Immediately dropping to the floor, the only thought going through my mind was, “This has to be a bad dream!” My husband was a fighter. He had beaten non-Hodgkin's lymphoma with ease, he could beat this. Unfortunately, he did not win this fight with bacterial meningitis.

 

Suddenly a widow and a single mom to a very young child, I found myself struggling over whether to continue pursuing my goal of becoming a physician assistant. As we adjusted to our new life, I decided that this life changing event would not deter me. My new situation would only provide me with determination to continue on my path of becoming a PA. I know my late husband would want me to continue on with this goal and become successful. After an unsuccessful attempt of obtaining a position in PA school last year, I learned a tremendous amount about myself and the profession. I have had the opportunity to shadow future colleagues more, volunteered on several occasions in the community that gave so much to my daughter and I, and enrolled in medical biochemistry.

 

Medicine and health have been constant interests for me most of my life. I have always been keen on helping others. My earliest memory of wanting to be a health care professional came in eighth grade when we did a research paper on any occupation of our interest. I have always had a love for sports and wanted to find a job that would allow me to enjoy the sights, smells, and sounds of sports competition, without coaching, so I chose athletic trainer to research and pursue as a career. It was not until graduate school working as an athletic trainer graduate assistant that I learned about the PA profession and began my pursuit.

 

Working as an athletic trainer has taken me down many paths, from evaluating injuries on the sidelines of dimly lit football fields to assisting surgeons under the bright lights of the operating room suite. I pursued extra training and became a Certified Orthopeadic Technician. This certification along with my athletic training certification and license has allowed me to scrub and assist in the operating room, apply casting and bracing along with other responsibilities in the clinic. By being employed in the clinic setting, I have had the opportunity to work with physicians and physician assistants while taking histories and vital signs, performing physical exams, and help answer questions that patients have about their condition. I am constantly learning more about the team approach and the integral relationship that exists between the patient and their health care provider.

 

Despite the loss of my husband and an unsuccessful attempt to get into school last year, my resolve and commitment has never been stronger, which is why I am continuing to pursue my goal of becoming a PA. Being raised in and working in small towns has been an integral part in my development as a person and a professional. These communities that I have resided in have been medically underserved and I recognize that there is a need for accessible health care. I strongly desire to raise my daughter in a small town to provide her the same experiences that I was afforded, as well as to serve the people of the community to provide the highest quality of health care possible. As a PA, both my personal and professional experiences will allow me to empathize with patients and deliver the best available healthcare that they deserve.

I have seen the ups and downs of cancer patients, been told life changing news, had to make the tough decision of taking a loved one off life support, and held the hand of a dying spouse as their heart took its last beat. I have had to explain to a child why their parent is no longer with them and that they will always be in their heart. I have witnessed many athletes suffer major injuries and helped them to return to competition. I seek out the opportunity to become a PA not only because of the events that have occurred in my life, but also to fully fulfill my potential as a health care provider. My primary aspiration is to teach my daughter that no matter what obstacles may be placed in the way; hard work, dedication, and relentless pursuit of your goals and dreams are the keys to success.

[PhilipHennessey]

I've was rejected in the past as well. Yours is definitely a strong essay. I read lots of them on here, and yours is certainly one of the better ones (in my opinion, of course). I'm writing just to give you a boost - I don't have much constructive feedback to offer, other than to say that if there decision were up to me, I'd definitely want to interview to you learn more. Good luck!

[mfray]

Thank you so much for your kinds words and encouragement! I'm really hoping that this will help me get more interviews which puts me at a higher chance for an acceptance.

 

Good luck to you!

[LS_USAF]

For what my opinion is worth, you have a strong essay.

The only things I found were:

-Change "daughter and I," to "daughter and me,"
-"fully fulfill" sounds a little redundant. 
-Usage of healthcare versus health care --> http://thesystemmd.com/?p=37  

 

Best of luck to you!