Revision #4: In desperate need of critique

[gducky5]

I gripped my cart of IV fluids and traveled up the hospital floors for the evening refills. It was my first week as a pharmacy technician at the hospital and I became anxious as to what my future held upon graduation. An alarm wailed as I set foot off the elevator, “Attention, Code Blue on South-9.” Knowing what a code was, I set my cart in the medication room and peered over the crowd of nurses, respiratory therapists and other staff. Bryan, the Physician Assistant for the evening’s shift, began to conduct the staff as a maestro. Ordering the removal of the patient’s clothing, insertion of intubation, and pushing of IV fluids, Bryan had contained the urgency of the moment. This was my first experience observing a PA in real-time. Befuddled, I reflected on the trauma for the duration of my shift. As a pharmacy technician, I contributed a relatively indirect role in providing patient contact. The breadth of my patient knowledge included: First name, last name, height/weight and allergies. In the patient’s room however, I could see a face, body, and even a terrified wife. The work I performed in the pharmacy was practical and the people I worked with were fantastic, but I was never really fulfilled. I wanted more.

 

I had always wanted to do more, because I knew that becoming a wildly successful person required growth in a well-rounded fashion. Throughout college I sacrificed my free time to instead take up leadership positions in various organizations while my peers settled within their niches. As a drum major in the university marching band, I was expected to lead a group of 350+ members during rehearsals and performances and to solve problems quickly. Additionally, involvement within the student senate allowed for a larger spectrum student assistance. While chairing the committee on academics, I spearheaded an initiative that ensured a prompt grade turnover for students. Both roles demanded a high caliber of teamwork, work ethic and communication.

 

There seemed to be a definite overlap between Bryan’s attributes I had witnessed at South-9 and those that I had gained throughout my undergraduate career. I researched the PA profession and what it entailed. The more I discovered about the profession and those involved, the more I became drawn in. Despite the fact that my earlier career as an undergraduate was peppered with mediocre grades, I forgave myself for being unbalanced and shifted my priorities immediately. I became immersed in my coursework and tutored groups of classmates in Physiology, Cellular Biology and other prerequisite material. By proving to myself I was fully capable of mastering rigorous coursework, I gained a deep sense of empathy for others that I had been previously unaware of.

 

I pressed on. I looked for ways to extend myself in a patient-contact atmosphere and enrolled in a nursing assistant course. Fortunately, I was also able to secure a shadowing opportunity at the local wound-care clinic. Christy, one of the PAs at the clinic, had completely blown my mind within the first few hours of patient visits. While educating her patients in both Spanish and English, Christy demonstrated her knowledge of medicine and the desire to see her patients’ problems through. However, what seemed most authentic about Christy and other PAs I had encountered was the general friendliness and comforting personality towards all their patients.

 

Unfortunately, the patient on South-9 did not survive the code. But the situation, however unfortunate as it was, gave me an opportunity to be courageous. It allowed me to consider this: To truly become myself, I must become a Physician Assistant. PAs serve as ambassadors to the many issues that face health care today, and do so with an unassuming approach. They ameliorate the heavy patient loads of clinics and empower the teams they belong to. Throughout my self-discovery, it has become clear that I belong to these tenets of medicine, and I look forward to making a my own contribution to the transformation of healthcare.

[gducky5]

I gripped my cart of IV fluids and traveled up the hospital floors for the evening refills. It was my first week as a pharmacy technician at the hospital and I became anxious as to what my future held upon graduation. An alarm wailed as I set foot off the elevator, “Attention, Code Blue on South-9.” Knowing what a code was, I set my cart in the medication room and peered over the crowd of nurses, respiratory therapists and other staff. Bryan, the Physician Assistant for the evening’s shift, began to conduct the staff as a maestro. Ordering the removal of the patient’s clothing, insertion of intubation, and pushing of IV fluids, Bryan had contained the urgency of the moment. This was my first experience observing a PA in real-time. Befuddled, I reflected on the trauma for the duration of my shift. As a pharmacy technician, I contributed a relatively indirect role in providing patient contact. The breadth of my patient knowledge included: First name, last name, height/weight and allergies. In the patient’s room however, I could see a face, body, and even a terrified wife. The work I performed in the pharmacy was practical and the people I worked with were fantastic, but I was never really fulfilled. I wanted more.

 

I had always wanted to do more, because I knew that becoming a wildly successful person required growth in a well-rounded fashion. Throughout college I sacrificed my free time to instead take up leadership positions in various organizations while my peers settled within their niches. As a drum major in the university marching band, I was expected to lead a group of 350+ members during rehearsals and performances and to solve problems quickly. Additionally, involvement within the student senate allowed for a larger spectrum student assistance. While chairing the committee on academics, I spearheaded an initiative that ensured a prompt grade turnover for students. Both roles demanded a high caliber of teamwork, work ethic and communication.

 

There seemed to be a definite overlap between Bryan’s attributes I had witnessed at South-9 and those that I had gained throughout my undergraduate career. I researched the PA profession and what it entailed. The more I discovered about the profession and those involved, the more I became drawn in. Despite the fact that my earlier career as an undergraduate was peppered with mediocre grades, I forgave myself for being unbalanced and shifted my priorities immediately. I became immersed in my coursework and tutored groups of classmates in Physiology, Cellular Biology and other prerequisite material. By proving to myself I was fully capable of mastering rigorous coursework, I gained a deep sense of empathy for others that I had been previously unaware of.

 

I pressed on. I looked for ways to extend myself in a patient-contact atmosphere and enrolled in a nursing assistant course. Fortunately, I was also able to secure a shadowing opportunity at the local wound-care clinic. Christy, one of the PAs at the clinic, had completely blown my mind within the first few hours of patient visits. While educating her patients in both Spanish and English, Christy demonstrated her knowledge of medicine and the desire to see her patients’ problems through. However, what seemed most authentic about Christy and other PAs I had encountered was the general friendliness and comforting personality towards all their patients.

 

Unfortunately, the patient on South-9 did not survive the code. But the situation, however unfortunate as it was, gave me an opportunity to be courageous. It allowed me to consider this: To truly become myself, I must become a Physician Assistant. PAs serve as ambassadors to the many issues that face health care today, and do so with an unassuming approach. They ameliorate the heavy patient loads of clinics and empower the teams they belong to. Throughout my self-discovery, it has become clear that I belong to these tenets of medicine, and I look forward to making a my own contribution to the transformation of healthcare.

[7.62mm]

I really would have liked for you to follow this statement to conclusion. Linking your understanding of only statics of a patient to an eye opening moment of realization they are PEOPLE and how the PA calmed or helped the wife with the passing of her husband. In other words what was the takeaway of what you saw in that moment what was its impact on you. That's all I got and please take with a grain of salt as I may not know what the heck I'm talking about as I'm in the same boat as you applying to programs.

 

The breadth of my patient knowledge included: First name, last name, height/weight and allergies. In the patient’s room however, I could see a face, body, and even a terrified wife.