Very rough 1st draft

[esklar]

So I'm looking for some advice here... this is a very rough (not yet finished) first draft that I have going for my CASPA application. I guess I've just been looking at it too long but I feel like it lacks something that keeps it all together. I am conflicted if I should even mention growing up with my dad working as an orthopedic surgeon or if it takes away from the story about my mission to Costa Rica. Should I keep it more in story form or more about myself? I just have a million questions about it and I'm not really feeling very confident about it at this point...so any advice would be greatly appreciated. Still working on a conclusion. But yes, feel free to rip this apart as you all see fit. Thank you in advance!

 

Stepping off the plane in Costa Rica, feeling the warmth of the sun on my face, I had no idea what I was in for. I had been anticipating this day for a long time and now seeing and hearing Spanish in a bustling airport I realized that it was finally here. Dressed in my scrubs with my stethoscope and blood pressure cuff at the ready, I was ready to experience my first taste of primary care medicine. Walking off the bus and seeing how the children looked in awe at us made me feel important and inspired. I finally felt that I had found my calling.

 

On January 11^th, 2013, I had the opportunity to fly down to San Jose, Costa Rica as part of a medical mission trip with International Service Learning. Over the course of nine days, a group of 14 students and two doctors treated 190 children and adults who would not have had access to healthcare otherwise. In the days and weeks leading up to my departure, I was a nervous wreck. I had never been on a plane on my own and I was going to a country with a different language where I didn’t know anyone. Going to Costa Rica turned out to be one of the most amazing and unforgettable experiences that I’ve ever had.

 

Growing up I always had an interest in medicine. My father is an orthopedic surgeon and I was always curious about what he did. I would always look for opportunities to go with my dad to the office or pick his brain about a certain athlete’s injury. I loved the idea of being able to help people and the challenge of putting together the puzzle pieces to make a complicated diagnosis.[LS1] expand this more?

 

Although I always felt that I had an interest in medicine and helping others, it wasn’t until my trip to Costa Rica that I knew without a doubt that I wanted to be a PA. I was given the opportunity to work in a group with three other students to complete a full medical history, perform a physical exam, diagnose the patient, and present our findings along with recommendations to a doctor. I relished the opportunity to work autonomously and collaborate with other students to diagnose and treat the patients. It was great (better word?) to have the freedom to talk to the patient and put together the puzzle on our own; something I had never experienced before. I enjoyed the mental stimulation, the chance to increase my knowledge of medicine, and the involvement with patients. The most interesting part for me was the problem solving, trying to figure out what was wrong with the patient and how best to treat them. This is something I look forward to most as a PA; listening to patients’ histories and putting together the diagnosis and then how to go about treating them.

[esklar]

Don't know how to edit this but I ended up working with someone on it for the past few days and I have it in much better shape. I changed it around a lot..so I think I'm all set if someone could delete this thread. Thanks!