I just finished writing my personal statement for my PA school application.

[elgwrightPA]

I think I have finished my PA school personal statement, and I would like some feedback on it. I would like to use the feedback to make edits. The PA Programs I am applying to are Faulkner University, Harding University, Samford University, University of South Alabama, and University of Alabama in Birmingham. If you read this, thank you for taking the time out of your day to help me out! 

PS: 

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." This quote by Mahatma Gandhi perfectly describes why I strive to be a physician assistant. From a young age, I had various experiences at home taking care of ill family members. My twin sister and I were both born with birth defects. I was born with jejunal atresia, and she was born with hydranencephaly. My parents were informed by various physicians that the majority of babies born with her condition do not live to the age of one. Before my sister moved into a nursing home at three years old, my parents had taught me how to feed her through the feeding tube and how to assist them during her seizures. Years later, when I was eight years old, my grandpa had begun to develop Alzheimer's disease, and he moved into a nursing home relatively fast. At the same time, my grandma was recovering from hip surgery, and I helped her by giving her blood thinner shots. Then, during my middle school years, my mom's parents moved in with us. Both of her parents had Parkinson's disease, dementia, and type two diabetes. I helped with their care by making their food on occasion, cutting pills in half and separating them by the week day, checking their blood sugar, and giving them insulin shots. They lived with us until their passing a couple of years later. 

The experiences I had taking care of family made me realize I love medicine, as well as the television shows I watched growing up. When I was four years old, my mother and I began to  frequently watch shows like Untold Stories of the E.R., Deliver Me, etc. I became fascinated with science and particularly how it can be used to help people.The physician and nursing careers were the only healthcare jobs I had heard of. I was uninterested in medical school due to the length of schooling, so I decided to become a nurse. My dad works at Faulkner University, and I planned to attend Faulkner University for the first two years of my schooling and then attend a different university for nursing. 

A few months prior to our thirteenth birthday, my sister passed away. Her death sparked an ambition in me to help others and their families. I went from only being fascinated by the science of medicine to also valuing the personal aspect of medicine. When I began my undergraduate schooling at Faulkner University, I heard about the new health science programs. The school did not start a nursing program as I had hoped they would; however, they did start a physician assistant (PA) program. I had never heard of a PA before, so I began to research the required education and job description. While reading and watching videos about PAs, I began to fall in love with what the career entailed. I love how PAs are able to explore different medical specialities while having conversations and relationships with patients, making diagnoses, creating treatment plans, etc. 

After researching the PA career, I was torn between following my plan of attending nursing school or going to PA school instead. Unless Faulkner started an undergraduate degree I was interested in that could get me into PA school, I would have to choose nursing school for financial reasons. My faith is an integral part of my life, so I decided to pray about my decision and let God guide me. I trust God's plan for my life more than I trust my own. I prayed Faulkner would start a pre-PA undergraduate degree in my first two years at Faulkner if He was okay with me choosing the PA path. I also prayed Faulkner would not start a pre-PA degree if He was opposed to me choosing the PA path. Two weeks after my prayer, I was talking to a professor at Faulkner about my dilemma. Without knowing my prayers, she informed me that Faulkner was going to start an undergraduate health science degree within the next year, which included a pre-PA track. I immediately knew my prayers had been answered and God approved of my decision to pursue a career as a PA, and I believe the difficult family experiences I had growing up will help me be a better healthcare provider. 

 

 

 

[68WEMTto65DPAC]

15 hours ago, elgwrightPA said:

I think I have finished my PA school personal statement, and I would like some feedback on it. I would like to use the feedback to make edits. The PA Programs I am applying to are Faulkner University, Harding University, Samford University, University of South Alabama, and University of Alabama in Birmingham. If you read this, thank you for taking the time out of your day to help me out! 

PS: 

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." This quote by Mahatma Gandhi perfectly describes why I strive to be a physician assistant. From a young age, I had various experiences at home taking care of ill family members. My twin sister and I were both born with birth defects. I was born with jejunal atresia, and she was born with hydranencephaly. My parents were informed by various physicians that the majority of babies born with her condition do not live to the age of one. Before my sister moved into a nursing home at three years old, my parents had taught me how to feed her through the feeding tube and how to assist them during her seizures. Years later, when I was eight years old, my grandpa had begun to develop Alzheimer's disease, and he moved into a nursing home relatively fast. At the same time, my grandma was recovering from hip surgery, and I helped her by giving her blood thinner shots. Then, during my middle school years, my mom's parents moved in with us. Both of her parents had Parkinson's disease, dementia, and type two diabetes. I helped with their care by making their food on occasion, cutting pills in half and separating them by the week day, checking their blood sugar, and giving them insulin shots. They lived with us until their passing a couple of years later. 

The experiences I had taking care of family made me realize I love medicine, as well as the television shows I watched growing up. When I was four years old, my mother and I began to  frequently watch shows like Untold Stories of the E.R., Deliver Me, etc. I became fascinated with science and particularly how it can be used to help people.The physician and nursing careers were the only healthcare jobs I had heard of. I was uninterested in medical school due to the length of schooling, so I decided to become a nurse. My dad works at Faulkner University, and I planned to attend Faulkner University for the first two years of my schooling and then attend a different university for nursing. 

A few months prior to our thirteenth birthday, my sister passed away. Her death sparked an ambition in me to help others and their families. I went from only being fascinated by the science of medicine to also valuing the personal aspect of medicine. When I began my undergraduate schooling at Faulkner University, I heard about the new health science programs. The school did not start a nursing program as I had hoped they would; however, they did start a physician assistant (PA) program. I had never heard of a PA before, so I began to research the required education and job description. While reading and watching videos about PAs, I began to fall in love with what the career entailed. I love how PAs are able to explore different medical specialities while having conversations and relationships with patients, making diagnoses, creating treatment plans, etc. 

After researching the PA career, I was torn between following my plan of attending nursing school or going to PA school instead. Unless Faulkner started an undergraduate degree I was interested in that could get me into PA school, I would have to choose nursing school for financial reasons. My faith is an integral part of my life, so I decided to pray about my decision and let God guide me. I trust God's plan for my life more than I trust my own. I prayed Faulkner would start a pre-PA undergraduate degree in my first two years at Faulkner if He was okay with me choosing the PA path. I also prayed Faulkner would not start a pre-PA degree if He was opposed to me choosing the PA path. Two weeks after my prayer, I was talking to a professor at Faulkner about my dilemma. Without knowing my prayers, she informed me that Faulkner was going to start an undergraduate health science degree within the next year, which included a pre-PA track. I immediately knew my prayers had been answered and God approved of my decision to pursue a career as a PA, and I believe the difficult family experiences I had growing up will help me be a better healthcare provider. 

 

 

 

First of all, I applaud you talking openly about your faith. In today's world, that is a bold move, one that I know the Lord will honor (seek first the Kingdom...).

I absolutely loved your statement. It's relatable, it's easy to read, well written also. It shows who you are very well, I believe. The only observations for improvement I would make are:

1. Are you only applying to Faulkner University? This is what your statement communicates, or at least, that you would definitely go to FU over any other school if they offered you a seat. This can make other programs not consider you since you're likely to go somewhere else anyway. If you plan to apply to other schools, I would avoid naming any particular program.

Edit: I just read that you are applying to other programs, so this is something I believe you need to consider rewriting so it doesn't look like you really only want to go to FU.

2. The statement doesn't tell us much about what you want to do as a PA, which is a big part of your "why". Throw in a few lines at least of what you think you want to do as a PA.

3. How have you gained patient care experience? You have experience taking care of family members, which is great, and you detailed it very well. But have you confirmed this same passion with patients you don't know? Have you enjoyed the healthcare system? Do you enjoy working in healthcare?

Edited January 3 by 68Whereisthewhiskey