Personal Statement- ROUGH DRAFT. Need as much help, critiques and advice as possible!

[searlese]

Going into college I thought I wanted to be a Physical Therapist. I shadowed all throughout high school and started to look into schools with PT programs, and was admitted into a fast track physical therapy program. For some reason I was not interested into the fast track PT program because I came to the realization that I would be making my decision coming out of high school, so I started to second guess my decision on physical therapy and decided to attend the University of South Carolina because of their ranking as one of the top Exercise Science department. After taking a semester of core classes of English, Biology, and Chemistry I knew the medical field was my profession of choice, but was still skeptical about what profession I wanted to pursue.

 

Over Christmas break I decided to shadow some doctors, nurses, and dentists as well as talk to many of my friends parents. I have talked numerous doctors, ranging from Cardiothoracic to Orthopaedics to ER physicians. I always imagined that becoming accustomed to so many different medical professions would help me determine what kind of doctor I wanted to become. I was confident that I would some day walk out of a shadowing experience or a conversation with a doctor grinning ear to ear because I discovered my true calling, but that break it never happened.

 

February 20^th through 21^st changed my decision. I participated in the largest student run philanthropy in the state of South Carolina called Dance Marathon. All of our proceeds went to the Palmetto Health Children’s Hospital. At about 7:30pm on Friday the Ward family walked onto the stage to tell a story about how the Palmetto Health Children’s Hospital. Gabe was a 3-year-old boy who was born with many birth defects and health problems due to his biological mothers drug use. At age two Gabe lost his twin sister to many health problems and he came on stage at age 3 with his adopted parents to tell his story. Gabe was a bright young boy but suffers from autism, acid reflux, asthma, Biopolar I, ADHD, and an undiagnosed legion. After hearing his story I was touched in ways I could not imagine. I decided to talk to his family and hang out with Gabe. He was there until about 10pm and I had the privilege to play basketball and hula-hoop with him. He was a very outgoing and personable child and you would never know he had that many issues. I was happy to see them for the next 3 years and Gabe even remembered me.

 

He has touched many lives of the people involved in Dance Marathon, but what he does not know is how much he touched mine. Gabe gave me the realization that I was on the right track and that I wanted to work in pediatrics. I was involved in Dance Marathon until my senior year and have fallen in love with the organization as well as what it does for the children suffering. I even did my senior thesis and practicum as a volunteer at the Palmetto Health Children’s Hospital. I had the opportunity to work on the floor with the child life specialists as well as shadow many different professions at the hospital. During my internship is where I finally experienced that life-changing moment when shadowing my first PA. As I watched the PA interact with the patients and how much they impact their visits, I spontaneously smiled. I finally left a shadowing experience with the feeling I had been yearning for since I was a child. I knew, once and for all, that becoming a Physician Assistant was my vocational goal.

 

I have talked to many physicians and physician assistants about their professions. The number of physicians that encouraged me to seek another medical profession besides their own, far outweighed the ones telling me that they loved their career choice. I even had one orthopaedic surgeon tell me that if he could do it all over again he would become a PA. All the physician assistants I have spoken with have described how much they value their job and how committed they are to their profession as well as the patients. When someone loves their occupation, I believe that they perform better and interact with their patients on a higher level.

 

I know that becoming a physician assistant is my choice profession based on my love for the human body and everything it involves. I am very compassionate by always willing to help someone in need and devoting so much of my time to to causes I find worthwhile, such as USC Dance Marathon as well as the Children’s Miracle Network. Working as a scribe as well as shadowing has showed me that I am also strongly focused on the patients well-being and wanting to help them more even though I know I am not certified. I also have a very strong work ethic and I always want to learn more. I know that PA school is a very rigorous course load as well as when in the profession there is something new to learn each and every day. While working as a scribe, I have learned that each patient is different and has different symptoms and you have to be able to come up with an action to better help the patient and that is something that is special day by day. I love how versatile the PA profession can be each day and I am excited to start this journey.

[Just Steve]

I would suggest that you research your schools carefully and try to match a program that doesn't put a lot of emphasis on direct patient care. Your PS doesn't carry much weight with it.. there is a lot of motivation and inspiration but hardly any mention of actual, boots on the ground, doing some work in this field sorta stuff. You mention this dance marathon but that doesn't really grab the reader as "oh this person has been in the trenches". You shadowed a bit, you chatted some folks up...I am willing to bet you framed the conversations in a manner to get the answers you wanted i.e.:"I'm thinking about going to PA school, what do you think of that plan?" Most mature folks will support you in that plan...it's not really civil to tell someone "your plan sucks...dumb idea". So instead they say "that's a great idea..I know a lot of really great PAs, they love their jobs, if I could do it again, I would think about PA".

 

You mention an internship, volunteerism, practicum, working as a scribe...you dance around these topics REALLY superficially leaving me wondering what you did in those roles. How you started for PT, or all of Gabe's issues, or the dates of the Dance marathon...all those bytes of information really don't tell the reader anything about you. Your line about spontaneously smiling while watching a PA work borders on cheesy. Most people smile spontaneously...very few plan when and where they are going to crack a grin. Smiling, or finding pleasure/admiration in a person who is performing their job well with sense of pride in their work will make most anyone smile. I have watched stone masons build amazing buildings with very basic tools and I smiled at their performance.

 

I'd LOVE to see how you have worked a broader range of medicine...you're pigeonholed yourself into this pediatric dream. If I was an AdCom person, how would I know you wouldn't fold the first time a schizophrenic sat down across the table from you and starting telling you about some of the crazy things in their head. Or can you hold your ground when you are overrun by the smell of a lower GI bleed while doing rounds at the local nursing home? Are you going to be dependable when the 45 year old, father of three, goes into cardiac arrest? Can you sit down with a distraught, stressed, confused 38 year old mother of 5 and dig through her intense list of issues and sort out the chief complaint?

 

If you're applying to a school that just worships pediatric providers, then perhaps this PS may work... but if your school isn't into specializing then this PS may work against you. I'd pull up some better examples of you actually working with patients, doing some interactions..

[searlese]

Thank you so much! I will work on it :-)