first draft of my CASPA narrative, suggestions please

[garggar]

I am sure that there are many stories of physician’s assistants being inspired by heroic doctors, physician’s assistant, and nurses. However, that vision of the medical field does not describe my journey towards becoming a physician’s assistant. My story is filled with bad experiences with the medical field that have driven me to provide people with superb care and the best possible patient experience.

Of course I have had good experiences in the medical field. I have enjoyed every second that I have spent working in medicine. I enjoy learning about the human body and all of the different problems it can have. I can lose myself in the world of medicine and all the intricacies I have yet to learn. I have had many incredible nurses and PAs and doctors that have given me wonderful experiences. But these experiences are not what shaped my desire to become a physician’s assistant. My motivation for becoming a physician’s assistant comes from my experiences watching my father nearly die after being misdiagnosed and my experience going through surgery scared and uninformed. When I was in the seventh grade my father had a major heart attack that nearly killed him. Only a week earlier he had been misdiagnosed with asthma after experiencing a small cardiac episode. Our family doctor had failed to run either an EKG or a stress test. Both of which could have shown my father’s true condition and saved him from collapsing while skiing a week later. This experience shaped my desire to provide each and every patient that I come into contact with the best possible care. It taught me that even the most knowledgeable and talented healthcare providers can overlook a problem if they are not truly invested in the well being of the people they come into contact with. I hope to become a physician’s assistant so that I can ensure my patient’s are receiving the best quality and thorough care possible.

The other experience that has motivated me to become a physician’s assistant is the time I spent with a surgeon before receiving surgery on my finger. During my sophomore year in college I accidentally cut my pinkie finger with a kitchen knife. I cut it deep enough that I severed my flexor tendon and had to get surgery to repair the tendon. Before my surgery I met with the surgeon multiple times, but each time I met with him I left more confused and worried about the surgery. Neither the procedure nor the post surgery process was ever fully explained to me. Along with my experience with my father, this experience shaped my motivation to become a physician assistant. It showed me that the ability to provide a patient with a good experience is just as important to the patient’s well being as medical knowledge. I hope that by becoming a PA I can provide all of my patients with an experience equal to the medical care that I provide. I hope to be able to explain to my patients what care they will be receiving, why it is needed, and what will be the consequences (both positive and negative) of that care is. By becoming a PA I hope that I can ensure that none of my patients go through a procedure, or receive a prescription, or receive any type of care without being informed and comforted when dealing with the consequences of their health.

My experience with my dad’s heart attack and my surgery have motivated me to become a PA so that I can provide patients with superior and thorough healthcare while giving them the best possible experience. I want each of my patients to leave me knowing that I did all that I could to help them and comfort them. With doctors today being weighed down by insurance, paperwork, and the many other distractions from medicine, I believe that PAs play a vital role in determining the quality of care and the experience a patient receives.

[tg858]

I think you have good material but need to refine it a little bit..I have read in numerous places that the tone for your personal statement should be largely positive and not critical of established medical professionals. While the impact of your father's story is an integral part of your statement, I think you should try to think of a way to sound a little less pessimistic about the doctor who misdiagnosed him (even though I personally agree with you) and try to focus on the fact that it motivated you to be the best possible medical professional that you can be.

 

While personal experiences are important and play a vital role in your decision to become a PA, I also think it would be helpful to touch on other topics, such as any clinical experience you may have or your past academic performance.

 

I hope that this helps and best of luck to you!

[tashawa1]

In addition to what the person above me said, please change "physician's assistant" to "physician assistant". It is one of the most common mistakes made in narratives and the schools ae quick to catch that.