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Looking for critiques please!

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Still have quite a ways to go, but have found myself stuck. Any comments/critiques would be greatly appreciated!



I have always been interested in the medical field as a profession however I became motivated to become a Physician Assistant(PA) when I learned about the profession from my uncle. As a result of many years of conversations and with his support I was able to job shadow a PA practicing in the XXXXX area. I was able to grasp a better understanding of their duties and responsibilities. While observing this PA providing care I was astonished to see the emotional rewards and self-fulfillment that came with his practice. Following that experience I began conducting extensive research into the educational requirements and potential job opportunities which might be available to a PA. I was intrigued by the diversity of the profession. It was exciting to learn about the different directions and roles one may assume in the variety of medical practices. I became excited about the possibility of collaborating with an entire team of medical professionals to achieve a common goal.


My coursework at XXXXXX University has significantly contributed to my commitment to the profession. The staff at XXXXX University provided the discipline for my work ethic and demonstrated the standards demanded of me with the rigor of coursework. While attending I was selected to conduct research on the synergistic and antagonistic effects of multiple different antibiotics. My research and volunteer experiences have only reaffirmed my commitment and I am genuinely looking forward to the opportunity to promote and serve in this profession.


My volunteer experiences during the summer of 2011 have further solidified my goal. I was able to learn from the residents of XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. XXXXXXXX is a private, non-profit, charitable organization serving adults with mental retardation, mental illness, cerebral palsy, seizure disorders, brain injuries, autism, and more. This experience allowed me to work directly with staff, patients, and medical providers. I was engulfed in an atmosphere rich with upbeat and positive medical professionals. My duties included assisting clients with appointments and I was able to observe a variety of medical fields including neurology, physical/occupational therapy, radiology, dentistry, endocrinology, orthopedics, and wound care. This experience provided insight on a wide variety of medical disciplines I would not have otherwise encountered. I was able to assist in providing direct patient care to some of the clients living on-campus. Twice a week I would participate in different exercises involving a therapeutic pool. At first I was overwhelmed with some of the communication obstacles that came with working with intellectually challenged patients, but quickly became accustomed and comfortable with providing care to difficult and sometimes relentless patients. These interactions taught me the value of taking the time to learn their individual situations and to provide accommodating care in each situation. The experience allowed me to mature and become more confident as a caregiver.



For the past three years I have co-owned a successful photography business. As a photographer I have grown enormously in my abilities to communicate, develop, and maintain relationships with clients as well as my partner and other colleagues. Most of all, this business has taught me how to become a leader and step forward as an individual. I believe this is an extremely valuable attribute I can utilize as a caregiver.





Certain events happen in one’s life which will mold how we see the world. Even simple occurrences can have dramatic effects on our goals, ethics, and character. An event that has had an enormous impact on my life was the passing of my father. My father was killed in a work related accident weeks before I started as a freshman in college. He was involved in an accident which was the direct result of a series of neglectful acts by a number of engineering professionals. As I reflected on the accident I decided I wanted to grow as a person from this experience. This single act redefined how I perceive obstacles in my life. I can now appreciate to the fullest extent the consequences of every action a person makes. Poor work ethic and decision making created a situation with a catastrophic result. I now understand that every day each of my choices will have consequences. I often think about the consequences taking a shortcut might mean in the long run. This single fact is burned into my mind. The impact of this event will always remind me of why I want to become a PA. I want to become a PA because I know I will deliver safe and effective medical care to patients and will act as an advocate for the care they deserve.

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