Criticism greatly appreciated on PS.

[Erin1127]

Too short? All criticism is welcome and greatly appreciated.

 

 

 

Appointments at doctor’s offices are usually fairly straightforward; sit in the waiting room for twice as long as I am with the doctor then leave with a slip of paper containing the name of a drug whose name I probably cannot pronounce and very little instruction. It was during my first encounter with a Physician Assistant that I discovered what it meant to provide quality health care. During the visit the Physician Assistant was very thorough and when it came time to write the prescription she did something very simple. She asked me I knew the proper way to take the medication. I often reflect on what a small thing that was but how large the impact. As she began to provide me with instructions, not only did I realize I had previously taken this medication incorrectly, but I also realized she probably hastened my recovery. I knew then that making a difference in peoples’ lives would become my way of life.

 

Growing up I was always encouraged to find my passion, something easily said but not easily done. I have spent years trying to figure out where I belong within this industry as my options were seemingly endless. I know that my thirst for knowledge exceeds that of the typical registered nurse but the lifestyle of a physician is not for me either. As my experience in the healthcare field has expanded, I have devoted a great deal of time to observing the various roles that make up a healthcare team. I find I am most intrigued by the role of a Physician Assistant. I have formed relationships with Physician Assistants in a number of specialties find myself very eager to start my journey down the same path.

 

From a young age, I was very detail oriented and independent. When I read my books aloud I knew the author, the publisher and the illustrator to all of my books. I refused to read a book aloud if I did not know everything about the book; if a detail was missing, I would have to find it and the last thing I wanted was for someone to do it for me when I had the tools to do it myself. I continue to exude these traits in every aspect of my life and feel this will make me an exceptional Physician Assistant. The autonomy of a Physician Assistant along with the ability to design a plan of care that suits each of my patients individually will allow me to provide world class healthcare.

 

In my training and experience thus far, as part of a healthcare system which prides itself on providing quality and compassionate care to all demographics, I am constantly reminded that the paycheck taken home is miniscule compared to the gratification of caring selflessly for others in their time of need. Every aspect of becoming a Physician Assistant will undeniably come with its own set of challenges, while this may be a frightening thought for many, the way I see it is that every challenge provides an opportunity to expand my knowledge base and never stop learning, growing and improving.

[mktalon]

Yeah, every paragraph comes off as either demeaning, self centered, OCD, or a combination of the three.

[Erin1127]

okay thank you...exactly what i am looking for thank you for the help. Ill try again

[mktalon]

There is a way to say all the things you are trying to say without it coming off this way. Just experiment by writing out sentences differently and writing multiple drats. Try reading to yourself aloud because it will give you a much more accurate idea of how it sounds in other people's heads when they read it

[IdahoPA]

Mktalon hit it right on the head. Like I'm sure you've done, I've researched a lot so I'll be prepared for my interviews. In all of the advice the author mentions not to "put down" another field. It's good advice; PAs are part of a TEAM and no one is going to want you if you've already shown derision for other members of that team. That probably was not your intention, but that was the result.

 

FYI, pharmacists or techs are also supposed to educate you on your meds and prescriptions come with info packets. I've received the same meds for years now and they STILL give me this info. So to me, it just sounds like didn't bother to read.

 

"Growing up I was always encouraged to find my passion, something easily said but not easily done. I have spent years trying to figure out where I belong within this industry as my options were seemingly endless." You've spent years doing what? What experiences have you had thus far in the healthcare field? Were you an x-ray tech and realized it wasn't for you? A CNA but didn't care for the nursing model? What? Also, I would re-word that anyway as it makes you sound unsettled. Maybe something along the lines of "I've done X, Y, and Z, but they didn't meet up with my desire for A, B, and C. Through observation, I've realized the PA profession..."

 

"I know that my thirst for knowledge exceeds that of the typical registered nurse but the lifestyle of a physician is not for me either." You've personally met enough nurses to know their average desire for knowledge, and that yours exceeds theirs? Wow. What about the lifestyle don't you like? Long hours? The paperwork? PAs have those issues, too.

 

Also, PAs make pretty good pay. I know one who is making over $105K here in rural Idaho. That is hardly "miniscule."

 

I second PAMAC's opinion for a complete re-write. I'm just confused because your writing style indicates intelligence, but you entirely missed the point here. I wish you luck in your second/third/twelfth drafts. (Not being mean; I did at least a dozen myself.) Try to make your PS more about you and your motivation to be a PA. You mention knowing some PAs. What drew you to their path? Lastly, try to inject some warmth.