personal statement critique

[sarahluby88]

Hi everyone!! I would greatly appreciate any feedback on my personal statement. I am having a hard time getting all my ideas together and it needs to be a little longer but if anyone has anything to say it would be so helpful!

 

My interest in the medical field had begun at a very young age as I visited my cousin one memorable summer in Wisconsin. While most children our age would spend the summer outside in the beautiful warm weather, we would spend our time in and out of the frightening yet intriguing hospital. My cousin was born with an extremely rare disease called methylmalonic acidemia in which her life expectancy was only expected to reach the age of twelve. As I would accompany her to frequent appointments, the compassion and empathy shown by all members of the health care team made me realize how important and special they are. Every member made an effort to make my cousin feel comfortable and secure. My cousin, twenty three years old now and in healthy condition, became a living miracle and gives thanks to that health care team for showing so much kindness and strength. I want to make a difference just like those health care professionals and feel I can do so as a physician assistant.

　

Throughout my education I looked into the vast professions of the medical field. I came

across physician assistant and immediately knew this is the right path for me. I believe a physician assistant incorporates a more personal relationship with patients, accompanied by an intense desire to learn and be part of a team. I certainly have that drive and ambition that will make me successful. The experiences I have acquired through patient interaction has instilled in me a great desire to help those in need and exhibit a profound interest in each individual I meet. The passion I have for treating all patients with sincerity and respect intensified through my clinical training as a certified nursing assistant. One moment that was quite inspirational began as I visited an elderly woman in her room. I greeted her with a warm smile and initiated a conversation while helping her with her daily activities such as bathing and dressing. At the end of our conversation the woman expressed how much she enjoyed our time together and how it was the highlight of her day. She thanked me for treating her as a person and not just a daily routine to complete my job duties for the day. I then realized that something I incorporate into my everyday life was appreciated and brought me self gratification and joy by making one person’s day a little brighter.

　

The observation and knowledge I have gained was at a very diverse hospital emergency

room and urgent care. Each day I was able to experience the crucial importance of patientinteraction filled with a unique comparison that makes the profession so special. I was able to observe the necessary steps of good patient care, from easing the patients concerns to thinking outside normal conventions for a diagnosis from the plethora of problems encountered in the emergency room. This made the experience not only exciting but also reinforced my love for people and medicine. I thrive with challenges and certainly feel with the knowledge I have gained along with inspirational insight through my experiences that I can make a difference in the world as a future physician assistant.