Narrative statement

[Virginia]

I am also reapply this year and totally rewote my narrative statement. This is what I have. What are your thoughts? Thanks.

 

A beautiful little girl was all dressed up; she was the flower girl in a wedding. As people were being seated, she decided to play with a puppy. The puppy was a good playmate until it was time for her to leave. The puppy still wanted to play and tackled her. When she yelled it scared the puppy, and it bit her on the face. Unfortunately, instead of being the flower girl she became a patient in the emergency room. A PA took the case, and with the parent's and PA's permission, I observed the entire case. The little girl was terrified, so I talked and sang to her. I stayed with her while they irrigated her wounds. When it was time for the PA to stitch up the wounds, we put her in what we call a burrito. We took a blanket and wrapped her up in it, so that she could not touch the sterile area. She did not like being in the burrito much, but I continued to sing to her and with her. The PA on the case taught me a lot that night. She remained calm even though the girl was screaming and squirming. She let the patient know exactly what was happening, and told her it was ok to cry. However, she was also firm when she told her it was time to stay still. This is just one of the many cases that I have observed that solidifies my commitment to become a PA.

 

As a college intern in a local hospital, I observe and sometimes help the Physician Assistants (PA's) and Physicians. I have been able to observe a lot of procedures that have strengthened my desire to become a PA. I have learned that I will be able to take what I have observed and learned and enlighten my patients. I have personally seen what not taking care of your health can do to some people. I have observed several angioplasty procedures, stents being put in the blood vessels and what addiction can do to the human body. I have also seen how quickly accidents can happen.

 

I love the challenge of becoming a PA. I am determined, motivated and excited about it. Although working full-time and going to school at night was not always easy, and in fact it was hard at times, I was persistent and never wavered on my desire and goal to be a PA. I have found my passion, and I will work hard to reach my goal of becoming a PA.

 

There have been cases that I have observed where a physician and a PA worked together on the case. One case in particular was when a patient had fallen on the ice and punctured his lung. He thought he had just pulled a muscle, but as the day went on, he began having trouble breathing. The PA came into the room to examine him, and discovered that he had a punctured lung. The PA immediately consulted the supervising physician. With the patient's permission, I examined the patient's back, and it felt like Rice Krispies popping. The physician and the PA explained that it was air escaping from the lung. The PA helped get the area ready for a chest tube to be inserted, and stitched up the wound around the area where the chest tube was inserted. I liked the teamwork that took place between the physician and the PA. In the years I have been interning, I have never seen a physician speak down to a physician assistant. It really is a team-based profession.

 

I have been able to work closely with PA's and doctors over the years, and I like the flexibility that PA's have regarding specialties they can work in. I know that PA's have to deal with death just as doctors do. Most PA's that work in the emergency department will not have to call a death, which I have seen a few physicians do. However, depending on how much responsibility a PA's supervising physician gives them, they will have to deal with death. I, like any other health care professional, have found the balance between compassion and knowing some of these things are part of the life cycle. The most essential fact I have discovered from my health care experience is how vital each health care member is to patient care and recognize the individual commitment and dedication required for this profession. I have a deeper comprehension about how challenging the physician assistant profession can be.

 

I am prepared to work hard and accomplish my goal of becoming a PA. Dedicating my life to the study of the human body in order to help others would be not only an honor, but also an opportunity to touch the life of others. I know that I will be a great PA. It fits my personality and my love for helping people. I know this, because after four years of being a college intern/volunteer in the ER, I still love it. I love being with the PA's, the doctors and medical staff and especially the patients.

[Beorp]

Just something that jumped out at me (and this is quite nit picky, but I guess that is what you want on a personal statement review), I would not abbreviate physician assistants as "PA's" but rather as "PAs." This is a style issue that is certainly not set in stone, but I believe most style guides would agree.

[Hemoptysis]

Clearly, you would want to have an answer ready for the inevitable interview question as to what you have been up to since last applying. And I'm sure you do. But you may want to make that more apparent in your personal statement as well. Otherwise, (and I'm no expert)I thought it was an engaging essay, with many of the components that I believe adcom's are looking for. The portion of the second to last paragraph regarding death, seemed a bit redundant and confusing and could use a reword, or deletion.

[Just Steve]

After reading the write up, I still know nothing about you besides the fact you have shadowed a PA and noted some interactions of the medical team. Most everyone has shadowed or something similar...what you wrote has no pop, no pizzazz..nothing to set you apart from the other applicants. There is no mention of special talents, abilities, or unique experiences. If your PS was food, I'd call it "bland".

 

The entries about a flower girl makes a nice novel, but doesn't tell the reader anything about you. You can assume that the readers will already know about burrito wraps. Singing to a distressed child isn't anything fancy. You can also assume that the reader will know what angioplasties are, as well as pneumothorax and sub q emphysema. Adding it to your PS comes across as "filler"...same idea as garnish on a plate...making the meal seem larger and more colorful than it really is.

 

You mention having health care experience but I have no idea what you did, or how long you did it for. I know nothing of your background, nothing of your 5 year plan other than wanting to be a PA (do rural health? underserved? treat non english speakers?) Ever volunteer in your local community? Did you shadow just in the ER or other specialties as well?

 

I think the PS needs to show a picture of who you are, what you have done, what your plan is...but my opinion is worth what you paid for it.

 

Good luck