SOOO close to final draft

[Rapport]

I am very close to the final draft. I think my closing paragraph needs work, but I'm burnt out on writing at this point. A technical question: Does CASPA allow subscript/footnotes? It looks great in my word processor, but when pasted into the CASPA form the subscript/superscript appears as regular text. Anyways here it goes.

 

 

I first became interested in the PA profession in the spring of 2008. Although I had planned on graduate school for some time, my decision was expedited by the pending summer heat. At the time I was a field technician working outside all day, and had seen a heat wave the previous year of thirteen straight 100+ days. Despite having a bachelor’s degree I soon discovered that I did not have the background or education necessary to start a career that I would be happy with. Due to my longstanding love of science, the medical field became an attractive option. Also, it is a bit of a family legacy; my mother has been an RN for 32 years, my grandfather was a physician, and much of my extended family is in the medical field. My father’s liver transplant proved to be another major influence. We witnessed his declining health for many years before he was a candidate for transplant. After the surgery we were amazed to see him go from near death to living a normal healthy life. The difference was noticeable immediately following the surgery, and profoundly impacted our family.

 

These were the major influences that swayed my decision to a career as a medical professional. I honed in on the PA profession when my father told me that a large part of his care as a patient came from a PA. I also knew that I wanted to get a master’s degree rather than another bachelor’s. The prerequisites seemed reasonable, and the field seemed to offer the level of professionalism and autonomy that I knew I wanted.

I believe that my education, upbringing, and work experience have all helped to develop the character and personality qualities necessary for a PA. From a very young age my parents taught, and expected hard work with a positive attitude. This has served me well in life, and I have been consistently employed since the age of 15. I have always held a job while in school, and worked full time while earning my prerequisites. I undoubtedly would have had a higher GPA if I had dedicated more of my time to studying. However, this is something that I say with little regret. My job experiences have taught me valuable interpersonal, communication, and technical skills. In fact many of the qualities that I believe make me a good candidate for PA school are the exact same qualities for which I am relied upon in my current position as an ER tech. My coworkers have expressed know they can count on me to do quality work quickly and efficiently. I have also proven to others, and myself that I thrive under the various pressures that one encounters in an emergency department.

I earned my bachelor’s degree at Columbia International University. Although not very marketable, I do consider my undergraduate education to be valuable. My education at CIU taught me many skills that have benefitted me in my adult life. I was thoroughly trained in hermeneutics1 and exposition2, which helped to develop excellent analytical and communication skills. These skills were directly applied by teaching once a week for five semesters, and in my final semester, preparing and teaching a nine-week curriculum from scratch. Having my bachelor’s degree in a completely unrelated field provided the challenge of needing strictly science and math prerequisites. I needed 12 courses (34 credit hours) total nearly all of which were prerequisite to the next. At first I was disappointed when I discovered it would take me several years to become a good candidate for acceptance. However, I soon saw this as an opportunity to simultaneously gain relevant medical experience. In 2010 I became an EMT, and did non-emergent medical transport for a year. Then, in January of this year, I moved into my current position as an ER tech. Over the past year I have shadowed, and worked many shifts alongside PA’s, and I have an accurate idea of their role and scope of practice. I believe that this field would be a perfect fit for me, which is why it has been the goal that I have worked toward for the past three years.

 

1Hermeneutics is the study of the interpretation of written texts, especially texts in the areas of literature, religion and law.

2 Expository presentation is a teaching strategy where the teacher presents students with the subject matter principles and provides examples that illustrate the principles. Examples include pictorial relationships, application of the principles, context through historical information, and prerequisite information. Examples are provided to give contextual elaboration and to help students see the subject matter from many different perspectives.

[Just Steve]

I am very close to the final draft. I think my closing paragraph needs work, but I'm burnt out on writing at this point. A technical question: Does CASPA allow subscript/footnotes? It looks great in my word processor, but when pasted into the CASPA form the subscript/superscript appears as regular text. Anyways here it goes.

 

I first became interested in the PA profession in the spring of 2008. Although I had planned on graduate school for some time, my decision was expedited by the pending summer heat. At the time I was a field technician working outside all day, and had seen a heat wave the previous year of thirteen straight 100+ days. Despite having a bachelor’s degree I soon discovered that I did not have the background or education necessary to start a career that I would be happy with. Due to my longstanding love of science, the medical field became an attractive option. Also, it is a bit of a family legacy; my mother has been an RN for 32 years, my grandfather was a physician, and much of my extended family is in the medical field. My father’s liver transplant proved to be another major influence. We witnessed his declining health for many years before he was a candidate for transplant. After the surgery we were amazed to see him go from near death to living a normal healthy life. The difference was noticeable immediately following the surgery, and profoundly impacted our family.

 

personally I would condense all this down dramatically. I can see the bit about a medical legacy and your father's experience drawing you to medicine..but working outside in the heat and being uncomfortable doesn't motivate one to be a PA..it motivates one to get an office job.

 

These were the major influences that swayed my decision to a career as a medical professional. I honed in on the PA profession when my father told me that a large part of his care as a patient came from a PA. I also knew that I wanted to get a master’s degree rather than another bachelor’s. The prerequisites seemed reasonable, and the field seemed to offer the level of professionalism and autonomy what sort of autonomy do you expect to have as a PA? This sort of statement opens you up to be questioned (during an interview when they talk about your PS) about your knowledge of PA autonomy. If you leave it in your essay, be prepared to discuss it in depth. that I knew I wanted.

I believe that my education, upbringing, and work experience have all helped to develop the character and personality qualities necessary for a PA. How has it developed your character and personality? What sort of character and personality do you have? All students work hard...what sort of challenges have you overcame, and what did you do to overcome those challenges, and what was the result of your efforts? Did you become more tolerant of different cultures after working with migrant farm workers in the heat? Did you become more sympathetic for people with mental disabilities after working in a summer camp for handicapped people? Did you study abroad? Need examples to help quantify your statements. From a very young age my parents taught, and expected hard work with a positive attitude. This has served me well in life, and I have been consistently employed since the age of 15. Most degree seeking students came from families with parents who pushed them a bit. Working since 15? Why the late start? (not really impressive..unless of course you were working in an outstanding field such as mentoring grade school kids or something like that..working at 15 usually means Burger King or the Mall. I have always held a job while in school, and worked full time while earning my prerequisites. What sort of work? Did you supervise anyone? Were you supervised by anyone who you learned supervision from? I undoubtedly would have had a higher GPA if I had dedicated more of my time to studying. this leaves things open ended...more time to studying...yeah, you worked..but did you also goof off and party? Maybe it can be re worded to explain how you overextended yourself between work and school...put parameters on why your gpa was low..not just that you didn't study..but why you didn't study. If you leave it to me to figure out, I figure you worked to earn beer money and drank your way through the weekend. Don't let my mind wander that way. Direct the reader. However, this is something that I say with little regret. My job experiences have taught me valuable interpersonal, communication, and technical skills. How did they teach you those things? Who did you supervise? What were you doing? What challenges did you face and overcome? What was one of your best moments as an employee? What was one of your lowest moments? How did you get past your slump? In fact many of the qualities that I believe make me a good candidate for PA school are the exact same qualities for which I am relied upon in my current position as an ER tech. How do you rely on them? By communicating procedures with patients? By ensuring effective two way communication with the rest of the medical team, listening and giving feedback to confirm understanding of orders giving (communication loop) My coworkers have expressed know they can count on me to do quality work quickly and efficiently. Have solid LORs from a PA or two in the ER? Did you win any awards, even if it's some cheesy employee of the hour schtick? I have also proven to others, and myself that I thrive under the various pressures that one encounters in an emergency department. How did you prove it? Was there a contest? Or does the reader just take your word for it?

I earned my bachelor’s degree at Columbia International University. Although not very marketable, I do consider my undergraduate education to be valuable. My education at CIU taught me many skills that have benefitted me in my adult life. Like what? I can open beer bottles with my wedding ring and it's a hit on camping trips and house parties. You trained in a field of communication interpretation but opted to use "hermeneutics" instead of figuring a way to better explain that field without foot notes. That's like name dropping.I was thoroughly trained in hermeneutics1 and exposition2, which helped to develop excellent analytical and communication skills. I have read your PS and all I know is that your mom is a nurse, dad was wicked sick, and you don't like working in the heat. You work as an ER tech and feel satisfied with your job performance but show nothing that makes you stand out from all the other ER techs. Working since you were 15 but I don't know what you did...I started when I was 10 on farms. When I was 15 I was a volunteer with local fire/rescue department, maybe I am hyper critical. These skills were directly applied by teaching once a week for five semesters, and in my final semester, preparing and teaching a nine-week curriculum from scratch. What did you teach? To how many people? In what field? What did you learn from your teaching experience? Having my bachelor’s degree in a completely unrelated field provided the challenge of needing strictly science and math prerequisites. I needed 12 courses (34 credit hours) total nearly all of which were prerequisite to the next. At first I was disappointed when I discovered it would take me several years to become a good candidate for acceptance. However, I soon saw this as an opportunity to simultaneously gain relevant medical experience. In 2010 I became an EMT, and did non-emergent medical transport for a year. Then, in January of this year, I moved into my current position as an ER tech. Over the past year I have shadowed, and worked many shifts alongside PA’s, and I have an accurate idea of their role and scope of practice. What does a PA do in a fertility clinic? What does a PA do in an OR? What does a PA do in infectious disease? Headache clinic? My point is that you have an accurate idea of their role and scope of what they do in the ER from your shadowing and work experience. If you say you understand their role comprehensively, you leave yourself open to further, more difficult questions in the interview process. I would again put parameters on where you have shadowed...did you shadow fertility, OR, ID? If so, state it. Show that you reached beyond just your work space. Show that you have dedicated more than just the hours of your job to learn about the field. I believe that this field would be a perfect fit for me, which is why it has been the goal that I have worked toward for the past three years.

 

1Hermeneutics is the study of the interpretation of written texts, especially texts in the areas of literature, religion and law.

2 Expository presentation is a teaching strategy where the teacher presents students with the subject matter principles and provides examples that illustrate the principles. Examples include pictorial relationships, application of the principles, context through historical information, and prerequisite information. Examples are provided to give contextual elaboration and to help students see the subject matter from many different perspectives. I'd lose the footnotes..probably by choosing a different way to explain what the degree is in

 

What I understand is that you worked hard. 3 years of college work after your bachelors is rough, especially when you are working. You are comfortable in the ER, feel confident, and that is a good thing, you should be. But your essay doesn't make you "pop" at all. I have no specifics of who you are and why you are special. Your essay reads like the 150 others the AdCom is sorting through. Your work experience is good..both as a young person and as an adult. Hard work in the sun builds character. It makes you appreciate the finer things in life. It builds stamina needed to be on the move for 12 hours a day, six days a week. You understand that sitting down at a desk to eat a sandwich is not a right and that it should be appreciated. My critique is not intended to dismiss you as "not worthy" but rather to point out areas where you can polish yourself up to make it shine.

 

Good luck

[Rapport]

Steve thank you for taking the time to read and critique my PS. Your comments are invaluable. I also posted this as a facebook note and asked for a lot of my more educated friends to read and critique for me. I've gotten so much usable feedback I almost feel like I'm cheating. Yours is by far the most in-depth, and I don't even know you. Thanks again I will be editing soon and will post the revision.