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First time applicant please any feedback!


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First time applicant any feedback would be greatly appreciated!!

 

Not everyone is lucky enough to know what they want to do when they’re older. As kids and teenagers the most common question we are always asked is, what do you want to be when you’re older? For me, the answer was quite simple. I always knew I would end up somewhere within the healthcare field whether it be a nurse, Physical Therapist, or maybe even a Physician. Ever since I was a little girl I was always playing pretend with my sisters, dressing up as a doctor, and diagnosing their problems. It wasn’t until high school that I finally decided that my career path would be in Physical Therapy. I had always been heavily involved in sports, which meant I had my fair share of physical therapy appointments through the years. I had always enjoyed helping others and I thought what could be better than helping people reach their rehabilitation goals and still having the opportunity to be involved with athletes. It wasn’t until I began shadowing that I realized that I was much more interested in what was happening to the patients before they entered the rehab facility, rather than what was going on within the gym.

 

I’ve always been known as a problem-solver to my family and friends. I have always been the friend to come to whether it be relationship issues, homework problems, or trying to help them make a major life decision. I have the tendency at being better at solving other people’s problems with ease rather than my own. It is extremely common to find my family and friends making jokes about how I am constantly badgering them with questions to figure out a prognosis when someone is feeling under the weather. Once I put two and two together, I began questioning my decision with choosing Physical Therapy and began focusing on the careers in the medical field which would allow me to be able to diagnosis the problem rather than merely just focusing on fixing it. Of course, the first thing that my family and friends told me to do was to think about applying to medical school. However, I knew that medical school was not the route for me because of how family-oriented I am. I wanted to be able to do something that would allow me to almost act like a physician without having to go through the many years of medical school and residency.

 

Becoming a Physician Assistant seemed like the best of both worlds and I immediately became hooked on the career. Once I started my research with the career, I knew that there was no other career choice for me. Being a Physician Assistant would allow me to be able to work as a team member alongside a Physician but would also give me the independence where I could treat patients myself. It gives me the opportunity to be able to explore the many different areas of medicine and to have versatility in my career. Furthermore, it also allows me to have strong connections with the patients that I am servicing. Being able to create a connection with the patients is extremely important to me especially after seeing how much it can impact them through my work as a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA). Although my time as a CNA is not extensive thus far, the more time I spend with the residents the more I realize how the healthcare field is the right field for me. Speaking with the residents and trying my best to understand them as an individual as well as satisfying their needs brings me great joy and I’ve never enjoyed a job so much before in my life. It isn’t the prettiest job at times to say the least, but being able to care for someone in such a sensitive period of their life has influenced me as a person tremendously.

 

From when I was a little girl dressing up and pretending to be a medical professional to now, I am still certain that the healthcare field is where I belong. Whether I knew it ten years ago or only a few years ago, becoming a Physician Assistant has been a lifelong goal of mine. I want to be able to impact the lives of others and to help diagnosis them and make their lives easier. I am certain that no other career field fits me as a person better than that of a Physician Assistant. Like I stated earlier, not everyone is lucky enough to what they want to do when they’re older, but I am so thankful that I have figured out what it is that I should be doing in this world of ours. I would be honored to have the opportunity to be able to hold the title of Physician Assistant.

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First time applicant any feedback would be greatly appreciated!!

 

Not everyone is lucky enough to know what they want to do when they GROW UP. (SENTENCE ELIMINATED.) For me, the answer was quite simple. I always knew I would end up somewhere within the healthcare field whether it be a nurse, Physical Therapist, or maybe even a Physician. Ever since I was a little girl I was always playing pretend with my sisters, dressing up as a doctor, and diagnosing their problems. (HEY, I REMEMBER PLAYING DOCTOR TOO. TONGUE IN CHEEK.)It wasn’t until high school that I finally decided that my career path would be in Physical Therapy. I had always been heavily involved in sports, which meant I had my fair share of physical therapy appointments through the years. I had always enjoyed helping others and I thought what could be better than helping people reach their rehabilitation goals and still having the opportunity to be involved with athletes. It wasn’t until I began shadowing that I realized that I was much more interested in what was happening to the patients before they entered the rehab facility, rather than what was going on within the gym.

 

I’ve always been known as a problem-solver to my family and friends. I have always been the friend to come to whether it be relationship issues, homework problems, or trying to help them make a major life decision. I have the tendency at being better at solving other people’s problems with ease rather than my own, THOUGH I AM WORKING ON THAT. It is (ELIMINATE EXTREMELY)common to find my family and friends making jokes about how I am constantly badgering them with questions to figure out a prognosis when someone is feeling under the weather. Once I put two and two together, I began questioning my decision with choosing Physical Therapy and began focusing on the careers in the medical field which would allow me to be able to diagnosis (DIAGNOSE) the problem rather than (ELIMINATE MERELY) just focusing on fixing it. Of course, the first thing that my family and friends told me to do was to think about applying to medical school. However, I knew that medical school was not the route for me BECAUSE OF MY FAMILY GOALS. I wanted to be able to do something that would allow me to almost act like a physician without having to go through (ELIMINATE THE)many years of medical school and residency.

 

Becoming a Physician Assistant seemed like the best of both worlds and I REALIZED THAT THIS CAREER WOULD BEST ALLOW ME TO USE MY TALENTS, SATISFY MY WORK, SOCIAL INTERESTS, AND PASSION FOR MEDICINE WHILE ALLOWING ME TO MEET MY LIFE GOALS. Once I started my research with the career, I knew that there was no other career choice for me. Being a Physician Assistant would allow me to be able to work as a team member alongside a Physician but would also give me the independence where I could treat patients myself. It gives me the opportunity to be able to explore the many different areas of medicine and to have versatility in my career. Furthermore, it also allows me to have strong connections with the patients that I am servicing. Being able to create a connection with the patients is extremely important to me especially after seeing how much it can impact them through my work as a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA). (REDUNDANT SENTENCE ELIMINATED) Speaking with the residents and trying my best to understand them as an individual as well as satisfying their needs brings me great joy and I’ve never enjoyed a job so much before in my life. It isn’t the prettiest job at times to say the least, but being able to care for someone in such a sensitive period of their life has influenced me as a person tremendously.

 

From when I was a little girl dressing up and pretending to be a medical professional to now, I am still certain that the healthcare field is where I belong. Whether I knew it ten years ago or only a few years ago, becoming a Physician Assistant has been a lifelong goal of mine. I want to be able to impact the lives of others and to help diagnosis (DIAGNOSE)them and make their lives easier. I am certain that no other career field fits me as a person better than that of a Physician Assistant. (REDUNDANCY ELIMINATED) I am so thankful that I have figured out what it is that I should be doing in this world of ours. I would be honored to have the opportunity to be able to hold the title of Physician Assistant.

Ok, I like it but you use too many unnecessary words and redundant sentences. I have flagged some but there are more. They clutter your essay making it difficult to read and obscuring your most important ideas. You can still shorten it without sacrificing your key ideas. SEE EDITS IN BOLD.

 

Sent from my KFAPWI using Tapatalk

 

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