PS still a work in progress, I need some help! thanks in advance!

[saraaawisey]

The parts in red i feel like are awkwardly worded, and the red paragraph was supposed to demonstrate how my past has prepared me for PA school but im having a hard time doing so in a way that doesn't sound like a list. edit away! all comments are appreciated.

 

When I think of Strawberry Splash Bubblicious Gum, I smile and reminisce - bursts of sweet yet tangy flavor, the smooth and silky texture, and the shapes and sounds I created by stiffening my lips and curling my tongue. It always felt like Christmas morning opening the small treat that my grandpa happily gifted to me when I saw him, and it is the sweet taste of strawberry that reminds me of genuine, winsome happiness. That sweet taste slowly faded however, when my grandpa grew older and weaker. Although he cared for me when I was young, our roles eventually reversed and in college I cared for him as his aid in In-Home Support Services. It was my active involvement as his aid that galvanized me to pursue a career as a Physician Assistant. 

As my grandpa’s aid, I was responsible for his meal preparation, personal care services, and transportation to medical appointments. It was at his medical visits that I witnessed the autonomy, intellect, and genuine passion of the PAs that were caring for him which drew me to the profession. I discovered that it was a PA that had diagnosed my grandpa with a rare skin condition called bullous pemphigoid, and that the PA was monitoring his condition monthly. It was also an internal medicine PA named Kevin who was monitoring his severe renal disease, diabetes, and history of heart attack. I recall one visit in particular, when my grandpa blissfully thanked Kevin for his ability to make him feel comfortable at these visits and for making his injections nearly painless. Kevin’s compassion and ability to qualify my grandpa’s discomfort solidified my admiration for Kevin and the PA profession. I also found out that PAs cared for my great aunt who had stomach cancer, my aunt who had breast cancer, and even me when I sprained my finger, which made me appreciate the important role of a PA. I feel it is my time to give back to the people who have given so much to me and my family and become a PA.

In my past, I have prepared myself for the vigorous schooling that PA school requires and I have developed many skills that a PA necessitates. As a certified pharmacy technician I learned different medications and their uses which will help immensely me as prescriber, and as a researcher I analyzed data and assisted with MRI brain scans. As an aid I learned responsibility and most importantly, patience. I also learned self-discipline and dedication from attending a university as a full time biology student while maintaining a competitive GPA, being an active member of university clubs and organizations, and working two part-time jobs. 

Working towards my future as a PA, I began to shadow Kevin at his clinic and I was amazed. He had nearly the same level of medical acumen as the doctor, and proved the importance of teamwork and communication in healthcare. I saw in myself many of the qualities he exuded; he was meticulous, passionate, patient, kind, and a team player. He also expressed that he originally specialized in surgery but has since changed specialties, which is another appealing aspect of PA. As an academic who strives to never stop learning, the ability to change specialties will allow me to continuously grow a provider. Although I learned to give vaccinations and run EKG’s through shadowing, I felt my learning began to plateau and I craved more hands-on experience, I thus became a medical assistant.

Fascinated by my grandpa’s bullous pemphigoid, I have worked as a dermatology MA for nearly two years, and my interest in the field has only blossomed as I acquire more knowledge and responsibility. I initially began with simple tasks but early on, my superiors recognized my abilities which has lead me to my current position as assisting manager and head medical assistant at my dermatology office.  As head medical assistant, I scribe, send prescriptions, prepare for and assist in surgery, independently provide wound care and wound checks, numb patients with local anesthetic, and more. I am responsible for multiple aspects of the clinic, constantly multitasking and have shown that I am capable of an extremely demanding schedule. The providers recognize my potential and my capability and have even begun to train me as a future part of their team as a PA. Although it is extremely gratifying to be such an essential part of the team, the best part of being an MA for me is the strong relationships I have made with the patients, particularly one named Ira. Ira shares a more severe case of the same rare condition my grandpa had, and often visits the clinic to monitor his medication and his strong history of skin cancer. One day, while he was being seen for a skin biopsy by the doctor and another medical assistant, I was pulled into the room and through the cold touch of his hand, he spoke the heartwarming words: “Sara can you please numb me? It doesn’t hurt when you do it.” Through his words, I was overwhelmed with intense happiness and gratification, and although my grandpa has passed, the sweet taste of strawberry splash had finally returned to me. It is rare for people to say that they genuinely know what they are put on earth to do, but I am confident and determined to become a physician assistant and I am more than ready for the challenge.

 

 

[DiggySRNA]

No need to post 3 times...

 

[saraaawisey]

oh god im sorry lol i pressed submit multiple times because it wasn't loading.. oops

[DiggySRNA]

 

oh god im sorry lol i pressed submit multiple times because it wasn't loading.. oops

 

 

No need to be sorry (: . just thought you were spamming for attention.

 

I like the first paragraph, it's different. However, you can shorten it and still get to the point with your granddad. Although very important, I cannot link how caring for your gramps led you to the PA profession (based on the order you introduced it). Instead, if you had said "being his care provider led you to health care, but it was Kevin that influenced your decision to become a PA" would be a stronger claim.

 

Besides caring of your grandad, do you have any other PCE/HCE? What about community service, volunteer experience, or leadership opportunities? These can help to paint a picture to adcoms about your personality traits (likability). So far, a great start, but if you focus on other areas, I do not see why this PS wouldn't make it.

 

 

Edit:...if you limit the story about your granddad to one paragraph and focus on you, your HCE, a story about a patient you cared for, your PS will be promising and more convincing.