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Personal Statement Draft (please tear apart)

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This is a draft of my personal statement. I've never written anything like this before, so I was hoping any of you could help set me on the right track! Any feedback or criticism is highly appreciated! Thanks for your time!




Red and blue came pouring in through my window – it was late. Undetected, I crawled to the stairs and peeked through the bars of the railing as paramedics pulled my mother out the front door. As a child, my parent’s decisions forced me to face many difficult circumstances. For years with minimal guidance, I struggled to persevere and to form my own identity. However, I realized that my experience with adversity was a unique advantage rather than a downfall. That the hardships I encountered helped build my character and bettered my ability to relate and empathize with others. Ultimately, the obstacles that I faced became my preparation for working with underserved populations.

Admittedly, I originally signed up for an EMT course because I thought that it would be the most interesting way to fulfill a required elective. However, as my professor perpetually warned us, I was “bitten by the bug” and developed a passion for healthcare. It was exciting, fascinating, and meaningful. A field where one can see and learn something new every day while simultaneously giving back to the community. It fulfilled my need to help others. It allowed me express my compassion and to put my high school superlative, “most likely to brighten up your day” to the test.

While attending Binghamton University, one of my most memorable experiences involved a flood that had devastated the counties within New York’s Southern Tier. In response, my school’s event center was quickly turned into a shelter for refugees. With help from the American Red Cross, we had taken in about two-thousand evacuees and for a moment, we were overwhelmed. Besides from medical provision, people required food, bedding, clothing, and sanitation. However, one of the most prominent needs was emotional support. A parent had explained to me that water, which was contaminated by raw sewage, had risen beyond the first level of their house. Her son’s room was completely underwater and even though his entire home had been destroyed, he emphasized his sadness over the loss of his CD collection. The next day, my roommate and I surprised him with some of his favorite music along with a CD player and it amazed me how a small gesture could make such a large impact on the lives of their family. During that flood relief, I learned what was truly meant by providing care for patients. That it wasn’t only physical, but spiritual as well.

 Dedicated to finding a career in healthcare, the first time I had the chance to understand the role of a physician assistant was when I shadowed Andrew ----, PA-C, in the Emergency Department at Saint Raphael’s Campus of Yale-New Haven Hospital. I immediately realized that it wasn’t only a great career for myself, but it was a position that was extremely practical for the healthcare system as a whole. Originally, I had underestimated the authority of a PA and was surprised by Andy’s independence. Along with a nurse, he treated, discharged, and admitted several patients which relieved the department from much of the volume and drastically reduced the wait time. Also, I was appealed to the fact that he was able to maintain a professional Image while being addressed on a first-name basis; I thought that this made him more personable and approachable for both patients and fellow staff members. It was clear that Andy’s presence in the team made the department a much more pleasurable, more efficient, and a safer place to visit.

After graduation, I was coincidentally hired as a technician in the same emergency room that Andy had worked in. Although I enjoyed my time volunteering as an EMT and thought that pre-hospital care provided a great foundation, I realized that my passion was in the ER. I had the chance to see what happened after a patient was dropped off by an ambulance and I immediately became enticed by the calculated, investigative approach to diagnostics. At Yale-Saint Raphael’s Hospital, I was fortunate enough to work alongside some of the most talented caregivers that our country has to offer; where not only have I had the opportunity to see several interesting cases, but to ask questions about them as well. I have had the joy of serving an underprivileged, inner-city population while working with physician assistants on a daily basis. This has not only reinforced my decision to become a PA, but it has allowed me to see the qualities that define a great provider. It has made me realize that they all share intelligence, altruism, confidence, and dedication. That in order to become an outstanding PA, you must first become an outstanding person. 

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