My CASPA Narrative - final version

[nminto91w]

I would love some of you folks to comment on it. Thanks!

 

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I am an army veteran who served on active duty from September 2003 through September 2010 as a medic. As a medic, I have worked under the tutelage of some highly dedicated military healthcare providers, such as neurologists, cardiologists, clinical psychologists, nurse practitioners, and physician assistants or PAs. However, I have spent more time with PAs than any other military healthcare providers. They are the first-line medical officers overseeing the medics in majority of army units and the care they provide is critical to battlefield medicine. The depth of knowledge displayed by these PAs, many of whom were former medics themselves, as well as their dedication to service-members has been my first inspiration to become a PA. My other inspirations to become a PA stem from my penchant for medical science and a strong passion to help others and improve the quality and delivery of healthcare to all Americans.

 

While in the army, I planned to complete 60 college credits in prerequisite courses and then apply to military's Interservice Physician Assistant Program. However, due to continual deployment training exercises, followed by year-long deployments, I was never able to achieve that goal. While stationed at Walter Reed, when I thought I was going to have that opportunity, I had to withdraw from a local community college within days into the term because of orders requiring a change of duty station. Thus, during my last combat tour in Mosul, Iraq, in 2009, I started mulling over the idea of not reenlisting the following year to enable myself to return to college uninterrupted and pursue my passion of becoming a PA. I was also aware that the transition from military to civilian life was not going to be easy for me, especially attending college fulltime during a period of economic downturn while taking care of an aging parent.

 

In the end, overcome by my passion to become a PA, I opted for the most challenging and only option available to me. I left active duty to enlist with a reserve unit for a year to allow myself to slowly transition out of a military life. When I finally resumed my college career in January 2012, I also took up a part time job at a local hospital. It was vital for me to have a job as my disability and education benefits from the VA were not enough to keep me economically viable. Despite such constraint, I managed to complete my undergraduate career in as little time as 2.5 years. This was only possible by taking an average of 6 classes per term. But, taking this many classes in such a short period of time, while transitioning into a civilian/academic life, was not without its challenges academically. Sometimes it would lead to repeating courses for a better grade. However, I have learned a lot about myself as an individual and as a student while working hard to develop effective study strategies to be successful.

 

Moreover, I have also learned to improve my chances of getting into a PA program since this is the second year of my application. Last year, I applied to a total of 6 programs and was interviewed by two of them with no offer of admission in the end. Since then I realized that my passion to become a PA and more than 10,000 hours of healthcare experience, including the experience of managing a healthcare clinic at Walter Reed, was not enough to compete against other applicants with stellar academic records than mine. I quickly recognized my disadvantage and decided to rectify it by moving forward. Hence, instead of waiting for another year while applying to PA programs, I have decided to undertake a year-long graduate program in cytotechnology. I am hoping that my initial success in this program would serve as a clearer indicator of my resolve and potential to be successful at any PA program. Moreover, being trained as a cytotechnologist and then as a PA could not only open up the possibilities of a post-graduate PA residency in oncology, but also having a comprehensive understanding and appreciation of an allied healthcare aspect. This in my opinion is crucial to the development of a complete clinician.

 

As I prepare to submit my application one more time, I keep reminding myself that the very first PAs trained by Dr. Stead were former military medics themselves. If Vietnam veterans like Kenneth Ferrell, Victor Germino, and Richard Scheele were able to have an illustrious career as PAs, as an Iraq war veteran, why can't I? I am as capable and assiduous as they were. In fact, with my current level of healthcare experience and the understanding of the profession itself, I think I am well-primed to become a PA. A PA with compassion and dedication, qualities I cultivated in the chaos of Iraq amidst explosions of improvised explosive devices and rocket attacks. On the battlefield and in the classroom I have shown a 'can do-never give up' attitude that will continue to be a valuable quality in pursuing a rigorous curriculum and a highly rewarding career of becoming a PA.

[klamont1]

I am a n army veteran who served on active duty from September 2003 through September 2010 as a medic. As a medic, During that time, I have worked under the tutelage of some highly dedicated military healthcare providers, such as neurologists, cardiologists, clinical psychologists, nurse practitioners, and physician assistants or PAs. (leave out things that take up your word count)  However, I have spent more time with PAs than any other military healthcare providersmost of my clinical experience was spent with PAs. They are the first-line medical officers overseeing the medics in majority of army units and the care they provide is critical to battlefield medicine. The depth of knowledge displayed by these PAs, many of whom were former medics themselves, as well as their dedication to service-members has been (or was?) my first inspiration to become a PA. (Furthermore, X, Y, Z inspires me to become a successful PA)My other inspirations to become a PA stem from my penchant for medical science and a strong passion to help others and improve the quality and delivery of healthcare to all Americans.

While in the army, I planned to complete 60 college credits in prerequisite courses and then apply to military's Interservice Physician Assistant Program. However, due to continual deployment training exercises, followed by year-long deployments, I was never unable able to achieve that my goal. While I was stationed at Walter Reed, when I thought I was going to have that opportunity however, I had to withdraw from a local community college within days into the term because of orders requiring a change of duty station. Thus, during my last combat tour in Mosul, Iraq, in 2009, I started mulling over the idea of not reenlisting the following year to enable myself to return to college uninterrupted and pursue my passion of becoming a PA. I was also aware that the transition from military to civilian life was not going to be easy for me, especially attending college fulltime during a period of economic downturn while taking care of an aging parent.

In the end, (better transition) overcome by my passion to become a PA, I opted for the most challenging and only option available to me. I left active duty to enlist with a reserve unit for a year to allow myself to slowly transition out of a military life. When I finally resumed my college career in January 2012, I also took up a part time job at a local hospital(What position was this?  Did it give you clinical experience?  Did it fuel your passion to become a PA even more?). It was vital for me to have a job as my disability and education benefits from the VA were not enough to keep me economically viable. Despite such constraint, I managed to complete my undergraduate career in as little time as 2.5 years. This was only possible by taking an average of 6 classes per term. But, taking this many classes in such a short period of time, while transitioning into a civilian/academic life, was not without its challenges academically. Sometimes it would lead to repeating courses for a better grade. However, I have learned a lot about myself as an individual and as a student while working hard to develop effective study strategies to be successful. (How did you overcome this obstacle?  What did you learn from the experience?)

Moreover, I have also learned to improve my chances of getting into a PA program since this is the second year of my application. Last year, I applied to a total of 6 programs and was interviewed by two of them with no offer of admission in the end. Since then I realized that my passion to become a PA and more than 10,000 hours of healthcare experience, including the experience of managing a healthcare clinic at Walter Reed, was not enough to compete against other applicants with stellar academic records than mine. I quickly recognized my disadvantage and decided to rectify it by moving forward. Hence, instead of waiting for another year while applying to PA programs, I have decided to undertake a year-long graduate program in cytotechnology. I am hoping that my initial success in this program would serve as a clearer indicator of my resolve and potential to be successful at any PA program. Moreover, being trained as a cytotechnologist and then as a PA could not only open up the possibilities of a post-graduate PA residency in oncology, but also having a comprehensive understanding and appreciation of an allied healthcare aspect. This in my opinion is crucial to the development of a complete clinician.

As I prepare to submit my application one more time, I keep reminding myself that the very first PAs trained by Dr. Stead were former military medics themselves. If Vietnam veterans like Kenneth Ferrell, Victor Germino, and Richard Scheele were able to have an illustrious career as PAs, as an Iraq war veteran, why can't I? I am as capable and assiduous as they were. In fact, with my current level of healthcare experience and the understanding of the profession itself, I think I am well-primed to become a PA. A PA with compassion and dedication, qualities I cultivated in the chaos of Iraq amidst explosions of improvised explosive devices and rocket attacks. On the battlefield and in the classroom I have shown a 'can do-never give up' attitude that will continue to be a valuable quality in pursuing a rigorous curriculum and a highly rewarding career of becoming a PA. 

 

Hi there!  Sorry I was not able to get through the last two paragraphs of your PS.  But I wanted to leave you some feedback that I thought could make your PS stronger. 

·      First, your PS is like an interview in writing.  At the same time you want to draw in the readers attention.  If you’re going to talk about something negative or something you over came… make sure they know what you learned from it, and how that experience would make you a better PA/applicant.

·      What is your theme of your PS?  What experiences specifically draw you the PA profession? 

·      You could try utilizing a story theme, telling the plot, imagery and climax.  I see a lot of sites recommending this approach.

·      Keep a positive tone with enthusiasm

·      Start strong!  First impressions count!

·      Go through every sentence taking out unnecessary words/phrases.  Try to keep your PS around 500 words, which I believe is about half of what you have so far.  If the sentence doesn’t sell the reader on you, or doesn’t explain why they should pick you for their school.. it’s wasting space L

·      I would revise your draft, get in all the good juicy stuff about you, and then try to cut things out.  Every paragraph should add more to the story/theme.

·      Hope this helps!! And good luck applying!!!