PA Personal Narrative Critique Required

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I am 42 years old , holding masters in computer science and applying for PA this year . I really appreciate if anyone of you can provide valuable comments in terms of structuring my first rough draft . I still need to work on closing paragraph and i am fairly new to personal statements ....

 

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Compassionate, caring and making difference in the life of others appealed to me right from the childhood.  Passion for science and getting to the bottom of the things made me want to grow faster so that I can learn as much as possible. Everything around me was fascinating and intoxicating in terms of depth of information it holds. My first brush with medicine was in India when my mom was very sick with stomach pain and was kept in emergency room . I stayed overnight and hospital was loaded with patients. Families, sick people those who did not have room in hospital were camping outside in the  hospital parks. Whole world felt sick to me and thoughts were very disturbing to me at such a young age.  And that followed with many more visits to hospital to meet friends and families . But every time I went inside I was more uncomfortable but could not able to comprehend my own thoughts. But desire to make world pain free and to heal the world was very strong. Life moved on and I worked through my Bachelors in Science and did my Post-Graduation in Computers. Computers were fairly new in that era and I dived in that new field and thoroughly enjoyed working in Software industry since it gave me a chance to create something new and give me a chance to know about the every intricate details at which things work.

 

I first landed in United States in a town of 6000 people in Vermont. Next morning, I was sipping a cup of tea in the cafeteria of 25 Bed Critical Care Hospital. My husband started as new Physician in that Hospital. . Next few months gave me a chance to interact with people, patients, physicians, nursing staff and administration to know more about the healthcare. I did volunteer in every Department of the Hospital which helped me to understand the overall picture of Healthcare in my mind. I completed my Nursing Assistant Certification to go one step closer to my overall experience. At the same place, I met an Engineer turned Physician Assistant who introduced the Profession of PA to me. I did discuss my growing interest for Healthcare with him. Afterwards, I worked in a Healthcare Industry like Hospitals, Insurance Industry but mainly in the capacity of Information Technology Specialist. During past couple of years, I visited numerous Critical Care Hospitals along with my husband in various parts of United States like Nebraska, Iowa, West Virginia, Northern part of California, Kansas and that made me realize what an important role these Critical Care Hospital plays in their local communities.  I started working as a Patient Care Assistant in a Sleep Clinic Lab and ability to hold hands of a patient who is distressed, helping Medical Professionals to do their jobs made me further strong in my mind that I do want to make difference in the life of Human Beings. I was fully convinced that I want to be a Physician Assistant and would like to take care of people in remote areas of the United States. I left my job and went back to school to finish my Pre-PA Course Work. I immensely enjoyed studying Anatomy & Physiology, Microbiology, Immunology and Psychology. All these coursework’s paved a strong foundation for PA Profession. I finished 42 credits in 1 year and more than 500 hours of shadow work in various specialties like Family Practice, Hospital Medicine, ER, Internal Medicine, Orthopedics, Radiology, Cardiology, Oncology and Neuro Surgery. Shadow work gave me an insight of scope of PA Work in various specialties. It was a great learning experience while doing shadow with each one of them that helped me to understand interaction with patients  , working for their needs , addressing their issues , prescribing medications , charting and keeping up with the field . Observations and analytical skills helps me to get the most out of this experience.

I have worked very hard on all the angles that can make me as a Good Physician Assistant that will allow me to serve people and to make difference in their lives.