Rough draft for essay

[jrp5055]

                As I was growing up, I always knew I wanted a career helping people.   After experiencing a high school sports injury, I became interested in the rehabilitation aspect of health care.  I received my Bachelor’s Degree in Liberal Arts and my Associate’s Degree as a Physical Therapist Assistant.   I passed my physical therapist assistant board exam while being in college full-time and also while working part-time as a waitress.   After graduating, I continued taking perquisite courses for Physical Therapy school but I quickly began to realize this career path was not right for me and therefore, struggled.   

Since deciding I was interested in pursuing a graduate degree as a Physician Assistant (PA), I have begun taking evening classes to complete my prerequisite requirements while working a full-time job and a second job at least one weekend a month.   I have used this time to improve my transcript by completing the prerequisite courses that my Bachelor’s degree had not required.

Five and a half years ago, I began my career as a physical therapist assistant (PTA). This profession has proven to be rewarding and I am constantly learning more every day.   I have learned the importance of team work, through collaborating with the physical therapists to ensure an optimal outcome for our patients.   Communication between providers is key,  and I have developed effective communication skills to discuss patient care with the supervising physical therapist.   Additionally, when I worked in an outpatient physician- owned practice, I had regular contact with the physicians and PAs to discuss patient care and any immediate issues that would arise.

Working as a PTA, I have learned bedside manner and how to motivate patients to participate in physical therapy and to push themselves out of their comfort zones to achieve their goals.  One specific patient proved to be more challenging than others.  This patient was younger for the serious stroke she had experienced.   She was flaccid on her left side when I entered her room for her second physical therapy session, unable to take care of herself.   Since being admitted to the hospital, she had fallen into a deep depression.  Time after time, she tried refusing physical therapy, but I was determined.

 I had noticed that she had some DVDs in her room and so I struck up a conversation about them.   She began to light up, and began conversing about a topic other than her recent stroke. We continued our conversation as I assisted her out of bed and into her wheelchair.   Each day we were able to do more and more, slowly but effectively.   Within weeks, she was able to walk using a hemi walker with minimal assistance.

 Then came the stairs. On this particular day, the patient was feeling very anxious about the prospect of stair training.  I knew the patient was strong enough to master the stairs, however, she did not have the same confidence in herself that I had in her. She was able to make it up the six stairs with a hand rail and the assistance of two people, for safety.   Once making it to the top of the stairs, she began to panic and cry.  I calmly told her that I knew she could do it and that I would not have brought her up the six stairs if she could not make it back down.   She pondered on this for a few seconds and then asked me what she needed to do to get down.  I talked her through the technique, and she made it back down successfully.  The patient then began crying again but this time it was tears of joy.   She was proud of herself for what she had accomplished that day.

The major appeal of the PA program is that it will allow me to be the first line of defense for patients like the woman described above when she first came into the ER with stroke symptoms.   In the five plus years I have worked as a PTA, I have gained incredible experience, however I have also learned during this time that my true interest lies in a different aspect of patient care.  As a PTA I am limited in my scope of practice; I want to be able to do more for patients than I am able to do as a PTA – things like examining  patients, prescribing medications and ordering specialized testing as necessary,  just to name a few.  I greatly look forward to working towards this next chapter of my life, and to all of the challenges and rewards of becoming a Physician’s Assistant. 

[PASASM92]

It reads very choppy. You need to rework the first 2 paragraphs. Also, the whole essay is a bit cliche if you ask me. The ad com knows you are a PTA. Tell them something personal about YOU, not your jobs, you.

 

 

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[jrp5055]

Thank you for the feedback. I'm going to rewrite it and hopefully it will be less cliche.