Here is my personal statement...please advise!

[jmagishtein]

Hi everyone, 

Here is my personal statement. I wondering if its too generic and/or impersonal for a PA school application essay?

Any advice would be appreciated. 

Thank you!

 

 

As a child, I cared for a pair of guinea pigs and nursed a few of their weaker offspring back to health. How did they know how to eat? How was it possible that one pup was the runt of the litter? How did the mother know to care for the pups but ignore the runt? I had many questions, and I developed a curiosity and passion for science and medicine.

 

As a student, my interests expanded beyond my personal petting zoo and into all facets of science.  I immersed myself in the study of biology, chemistry, and physics.

 

My love of medicine was mainly academic in nature. But then I began to volunteer at Hackensack University Medical Center and it opened an entirely new and enriching dimension for me; I realized that medicine was far beyond just administering drugs and diagnoses. I had the opportunity to sit with patients, get to know them, and care for their emotional well-being during extremely difficult recovery processes.

 

I witnessed a father chasing after his mentally-ill child down a hospital hallway. I worked with a bedridden elderly man who had broken his pelvis after taking a fall down the stairs. I sat with a middle-aged woman waiting for the lab results regarding a life-threatening illness. Together with the medical team I learned to not just help patients, but to restore their dignity and self-respect.

 

I want to be a Physician’s assistant because I want to educate patients, provide them with  better access to care, and work with doctors to give them the best medical treatments possible. But most of all, I want to be there for people when they are vulnerable and at risk.

 

I’m fortunate to have discovered my passion for medicine and helping those in need at an early age. My caring personality, academic achievements, and strong experience in healthcare will position me well to succeed in the Physician’s Assistant profession and be a true advocate for my patients.

 

[DiggySRNA]

Not to be rude, but are you applying to medical assistant school (physician's assistant) or physician assistant school?

If it is a personal statement for PA school then I can offer my 2 cents.

1. What you wrote is not enough, length and detail wise. Show Adcoms your passion for medicine, and what the PA profession can offer you and what you will do in the future to be a leader of the profession.
2. It is general so you need to explain why PA and not NP, MD, DO, DMD, Radiologist, etc.
3. I don't know much about you other than knowing that you volunteered and care for animals (not vet school).
4. What are your future goals as a PA?
5. What makes you any different than me, who is also applying to PA school? I volunteered at hospitals, did community service, held leadership position, and pursing additional credentials. 
6. I need to know why YOU are unique.

Good start, but it needs more details.

[JohnnyM2]

You need to read a lot of personal statements and you need to learn what a PA does. Umbpa has given you some good guidance and I will add that this PS is no where near ready for prime time. If I wanted to write a great PS, I couldn't begin to do it with the information provided here. When you say medicine is more than prescribing and diagnosing, I wonder if you understand that those are things PAs are trained to do? You really seem inspired to be a medical assistant but I don't see your inspiration to want to be a PA. Can you find people in your environment that you can brainstorm with? Can you describe what a PA does? What strengths and experience do you have in academics, leadership, job successes, etc. Sorry, but there just isn't anything in your PS to work with.

 

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