worried about the conclusion...please review

[emtstang]

I would greatly appreciate any opinions on my paper! thank you in advanced for reading!

 

“We found the patient altered and down at his residence. We only found pill bottles near him and we were unable to retrieve a blood pressure on his right arm. His wife is on her way” Stated the paramedics as we transitioned the patient onto one of our critical care booths. I carried on with my duties by obtaining an ekg and our own initial vital signs. He was extremely diaphoretic, hypertensive and tachypneic. His wife arrived and was allowed to stay in the room as we worked on her dying husband. She said, “Earlier this year he was diagnosed with malignant hypertension. Please! We have baby twins at home!” In the potential final moments of that patient’s life I couldn’t help but think to myself how much more I could do as a physician assistant that fully interprets the ekg and orders the proper medications to stabilize such a critical patient. However, the yearning to become a pa did not begin with this case. Rather, it has been an accumulation of cases and experiences that geared my shift towards pa.

I began my experiences in health care as a freshman in high school. As a first generation Mexican American, my parents always pushed a strong work ethic as well as the need to obtain experience along with an education. I knew my parents moved to this country so that they may provide better lives for their children, and I planned on taking full advantage of the fact. Luckily, at a very young age, even though I wasn’t born into a family of medical professionals, the idea of science, medicine, and the potential to save lives enthralled me. I tested my medical interests at an on campus geriatric practice. It was here where I was given my first taste of patient care and the importance of patient advocacy. I was able to value the structure as well as the administration side of health care. Soon enough I partook in my school’s Technical Internship Program and took full advantage of interning at various specialties such as, Day surgery, Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, and the Emergency Department. Even though I played basketball my entire life, the teamwork I learned that takes place in a hospital was like no other. At this point in my medical career I was excited about the thought of becoming a physician, however, little did I realize that the medical field had different plans for me.

I knew that in order to accomplish my goals, I had to finish my bachelors first. Unfortunately being a first generation Mexican American came with challenges. No else in my family had a bachelors, much less knew how to register for classes. My first years of college came with many hurdles. Specifically a routine advisers meeting that would undoubtedly change my life forever. After little discussion I was told to choose a different career path. The meeting ended and I immediately walked to my vehicle to gather myself and the sinking feeling that I felt. I pulled myself together and emailed a trusted professor that I had spoken to many times before. The idea of pa came around and soon enough I was exchanging emails with a pa student. He brought to my attention an under served population that needed adequate health care and pa was the key. The idea of balance, working as a team, and having a family fit my life style like a puzzle piece.

My life took shape as I became an Emergency Medical Technician, a husband and father. I pursued my goals to serve my community and began working for a level 1 trauma county hospital. Having a family so soon in my life forced me to mature quickly. I better understood my patients. It was in this setting that I felt I could use all of my resources such as, EMT, being bilingual, and my schooling to educate patients and assist various specialties in an array of procedures. However, I was constantly reminding myself of how much more I could accomplish in a 12 hour shift as a pa. I gained more appreciation as I shadowed a pa as well. He taught me what it truly means to be a mid level provider and the flexibility of choosing different specialties and the prize of being a well rounded provider. It felt natural to assist the doctor and I realized that traumas and level one patients were not our only census. As a pa, we are there to assist all levels.

Our level two patient that was brought in to us with his wife was soon transferred for surgery to repair an ascending aortic dissection. It wasn’t long that I found out he indeed saw his twins again. Through my experiences I learned what was important to me in life and as a pa, I am allowed to take part in everything that matters to me most. Whether that means the various specialties that I can take part in, learning how to craft my techniques in the pa program, or the balance of work and family, as a pa I can do it all.

[Wet Dog]

"however, little did I realize that the medical field had different plans for me." delete that

 

" Specifically a routine advisers meeting that would undoubtedly change my life forever" is not a complete sentence. You should mention why the advisor said you should change your career choice (unless, of course, it is actually relevant and still a factor, in which case you should delete that entire portion).

 

Capitalize the first letters of Physician Assistant. Capitalize PA.

 

Little things here and there - such as commas and sentence structure- need to be fixed but overall this is the first essay I've read on here that I actually like. I don't know what the rest of your application looks like but I would guess you are a strong candidate as long as your grades, scores, and recs are good.

 

Good luck!