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Critique my Admission Essay. Please don't Hold back


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Fulfilling a Dream

 

I grew up in a small village in Nigerian West Africa; growing up in my community gave me a real life view of a how limited access to healthcare services can affect lives. When I was 12 years old I suffered from a great lost. My uncle, Young, was shot during a home invasion but died in the hospital due to inadequate health services. When he arrived at the hospital he could have been saved but was left with no assistance because he could not afford to pay the admission fee at the time of his arrival. Losing him was heart breaking and eyes opening on our healthcare system. So this experience got me interested in the importance of healthcare in our lives and especially in small communities that are less privileged like mine.

For example there was a woman in my neighborhood that had a swollen throat. Growing up I wonder what caused her condition, then, later in secondary school I found out it was caused by swollen thyroid gland. She had this disease for about 17 years, due to poor healthcare in our community. It was sad to know that she could not afford the right medications to help manage her disease or get the surgery to remove the swollen gland. I knew something was wrong with our healthcare system because it only cared for people who can afford their services and the people that cannot afford it are left to fend for themselves.

When I was 18 years old I had the Privileged to come to United States of America with my mother and three siblings to join my father. I was thrilled of a new start and a life full of opportunities. During my first three years in United States, I struggled adjusting to my new life and environment. I attended Central Piedmont Community college in charlotte, North Carolina. I earned an Associate degree in Science, but I struggled with my studies for several years due to focusing more on work and assisting my family. In the fall of 2011 I cut down my work hours, which enabled me to focus more on school. I set a goal to earn my Associate degree by the summer of 2012 which I did, and also to earn a Bachelor’s Degree in Public Health at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro in the fall of 2013, which I am on pace of achieving.

Anxious to learn more in a healthcare field, I got a Job as a pharmacist technician at CVS pharmacy in. CVS gave me the opportunity to interact with patients that came in for various reasons. One of my patients that I developed a valuable relationship with was an 83 year old woman named Mildred who I called “Mimi” which cheered her up. Our relationship began one day when she called to refill her blood pressure medication and also her diuretic medication. She told me that she had no means of transportation to get her medication. Unfortunately, my pharmacy does not have a delivering service; as a result I told her that I will deliver it to her when I get of work. She was so happy that I offered to do that. Knowing the state of her condition I volunteered to deliver her medications to her whenever she has no means of getting to the pharmacy. I also helped her separating her medications into her pill case, by days. Whenever I get to her place she always has new stories to tell me about her life and growing up in New York. She gave me a real life view on the importance of taking care of my parents when they get to her age.

Eager to learn more about a Physician assistant’s roles in the healthcare field, I shadowed two Physician assistants in different health care setting. First was Mr. Naitik Panwala a PA at The Sports Medicine and Orthopaedic Center in Greensboro, North Carolina. He specialized in Osteoarthritis, I observed him give a hyaluronan injection to a patient, and he showed me the sterile steps and percussion to take while giving a knee injection. I also watched him administer an olecranon treatment to an elderly patient. He also stressed the importance of sterilization before and after treatment. By the end of my shadow time he invited me to sit with him and I watched him do some insurance work. The second Physician Assistant I worked with was Mrs. Alayan Almond a Family practices Physician Assistant at CVS pharmacy Minute Clinic. I had the opportunity to watch her examine patients for about a week. She explained the importance of caring and building trust with your patients.

My aspirations towards medicine stem not only from the desire to create an impact in my community, but also from my innate desire to seek out a greater understanding of the world around me. The human body is one of the most complex and interesting organisms in existence, and the insight to understand the hidden processes that occur within is truly exciting. I genuinely love and appreciate human biology, and have a profound respect for the men and women who have shaped what medicine is today. I, too, would like to be a part of this incredible field. As the field of medicine continues to develop, newer and more exciting technologies loom on the horizon, such as new prosthetics, treatment procedures, and more effective drugs. As a young, bright, and curious student, it is my goal to further perpetuate this industry, to uphold its standards, to serve my community. I look forward to the opportunity to matriculate with your physician assistant program class of 2014.

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