Shadow Request Letter - Constructional Criticism

[sajones]

I hope i'm allowed to post this here... forgive me if I am wrong. Does this letter sound too casual or too uniform to send as a request to shadow? I try to be "myself" as much as possible (I honestly believe that's how I got the job I currently have). What changes would you recommend?

 

My Street Address

My City, State 01234

(123) 456-7890

 

Ms. _________

Hospital Name

123 Some Street

City, State 45678

 

Greetings _________,

 

 

I am a recent graduate of the Biology program at Claflin University (2011), currently in the process of beginning my application to the 2014 cycle of physician assistant programs. In this process I learned of the website PAShadowOnline.com, from which I discovered your information. I am writing you in hopes of requesting a possible job shadowing experience with you.

 

My original plan upon entering undergrad was to go to medical school to pursue a doctorate degree in obstetrics/gynecology, but upon further research and self-awareness, I have settled on the path of becoming a physician assistant. As a current CNA/Emergency Department Tech, I’ve discovered my desire to work more “hands on” with the patients and believe this role is more applicable to my voluble and philanthropic personality.

 

I understand that your time is valuable and would greatly appreciate if you would consider allowing me to have a full day, half day or couple hours of observation with the chance to ask a few brief questions along the way. It would be an amazing opportunity that will not only enhance my application, but will allow me to see and experience first-hand the role of a physician assistant.

 

I will be contacting your office next week to discuss this with you. Feel free to call me beforehand at (123) 456-7890 or e-mail me at thisemailihave@thisplace.com. Thank you in advance for considering this opportunity.

 

Sincerely,

 

First M.I. Last

[SarahChil]

I would be offended if I was a PA and you were asking to shadow me, and then you used the terminology "settled on the path of becoming a Physician Assistant". You may have not meant for that to come off as an insult, but to me it does. I would also lose the party about your original plans were to attend medical school.

[marktheshark89]

I absolutely would not say that you are "settling" to become a PA. That sounds awful. In addition, saying anything about using this shadowing experience to enhance your application is not only unnecessary, but also makes you seem like you are shadowing just to fulfill a requirement, not because you are actually interested. There's no need to mention your original plans. Perhaps you should mention a bit about what is appealing about the PA profession to you, instead. I also would not put a time limit on it (i.e. one day or a few hours). Leave it open and see what happens. I shadowed 4 PAs for over 50 hours each, and so you may want to do more than just shadow once (if they let you and if you like it).

[Just Steve]

I hope i'm allowed to post this here... forgive me if I am wrong. Does this letter sound too casual or too uniform to send as a request to shadow? I try to be "myself" as much as possible (I honestly believe that's how I got the job I currently have). What changes would you recommend?

 

My Street Address

My City, State 01234

(123) 456-7890

 

Ms. _________

Hospital Name

123 Some Street

City, State 45678

 

Greetings _________,

 

 

I am a recent graduate of the Biology program at Claflin University (2011), currently in the process of beginning my application to the 2014 cycle of physician assistant programs. In this process I learned of the website PAShadowOnline.com, from which I discovered your information. I am writing you in hopes of requesting a possible job shadowing experience with you.

 

My original plan upon entering undergrad was to go to medical school to pursue a doctorate degree in obstetrics/gynecology, but upon further research and self-awareness, I have settled on the path of becoming a physician assistant. As a current CNA/Emergency Department Tech, I’ve discovered my desire to work more “hands on” with the patients and believe this role is more applicable to my voluble and philanthropic personality.

 

I understand that your time is valuable and would greatly appreciate if you would consider allowing me to have a full day, half day or couple hours of observation with the chance to ask a few brief questions along the way. It would be an amazing opportunity that will not only enhance my application, but will allow me to see and experience first-hand the role of a physician assistant.

 

I will be contacting your office next week to discuss this with you. Feel free to call me beforehand at (123) 456-7890 or e-mail me at thisemailihave@thisplace.com. Thank you in advance for considering this opportunity.

 

Sincerely,

 

First M.I. Last

 

I agree with above posters...settling for PA school makes the profession sound like a half baked back up plan. Not really complimentary. What compelled me to write was your phrase of ..."voluble an philanthropic personality".

 

Voluble...I consider myself fairly educated and moderately well read but you had me stumped on that word. I am not sure I have ever heard that word used before. If this is your version of "being myself", I am not sure we would mix very well. Is there a phrase or word that is used in more common dialect that may convey your bubbly, outgoing, friendly, approachable, curious, engaged, amiable, or otherwise easy going self?

 

To add to that...you feel that PA is more "applicable to my voluble and philanthropic personality". Are PAs the only health care provider who are chatting and giving of themselves? Are we to believe that only as a PA can a provider sit and chat with their patient? So far as a PA student I have often had days where we had 30 patients on our 9 hour schedule where the docs only had 20...who do you think had more time to chat with their patients? Where do you draw this conclusion that you will have more quality time with a patient?

 

The urban myth of PAs having more time to connect with their patient is just that...a myth. Where PAs have had the advantage is that up until recent times, most PAs had extensive previous history and thus developed a methodology of LISTENING (not being vocal) to their patient, giving the patient the impression that they really connected with their provider. It also helps that PAs with previous life experiences are more adept at having pertinent conversations, picking words to say that are effective/efficient in parsing out the important details of the exam..this in turn makes the exam more efficient, thus leaving a couple of minutes to ask the patient some non medical questions ie: "how is the family?" "did you have any luck on your last fishing trip?" "Did you get that promotion at work you were hoping for?" So on and so forth. In my neighborhood, many questions surround hunting, fishing, farming, and outdoor sports. Being a local, growing up in the area, it makes those conversations very easy to have and very effective in developing bonds with my patients..even as a student.

 

So your letter conveys that you are forgoing your dreams of med school, opting to "settle" for PA school, so that you can have some sort of magical extra involvement in patient care, inferring that your MD/DO counterparts are not chatty or giving of themselves...It sounds like you are repeating a series of catch phrases.

 

If I was a provider who was open to the idea of being shadowed, I'd want to know is my potential shadow a motivated, directed, hard working person with good observation skills, a focused mind, a critical thinker with the ability to ask me difficult questions that show me you are engaged and interested. Chances are that if someone is cold calling to get shadowing time, they will also be hitting me up for a letter of recommendation. I need to have a bit more insight into a person before I feel comfortable dropping my name onto a letter lending them my support.

 

So goes my opinion...

[sajones]

Hello again! :sad: Wow, completely did not see the letter in the same ways that you all did. However, that is why I posted it - so thank you for the constructional criticism. :smile: A couple points - which may help you understand my personality, mind frame and thus make further constructional criticism more personal...

 

- When I used the term "settled" I didn't mean it to be offensive, but I COMPLETELY get why it could be considered so. I used the term "settled" as in my final decision; the point of rest. In all decisions we make (big and small), some conclusion has to be drawn. I meant that I had "settled"/closed the turmoil of deciding which path in life I would take and came to the conclusion that I would indeed like to pursue a career as a Physician Assistant. (I wanted to be a lawyer years before deciding on the health field.) And I have been told that before you get to know me, I can come off as "blunt", "rude" but everyone who has gotten to know me has agreed that I am everything but. I, obviously, need to convey this in better terms so thank you so much for pointing that out. I think that was the best criticism I've gotten so far.

 

- The term voluble. I am studying for my GRE (*crossed fingers*), and so I've been learning GRE terms. HONESTLY, when I came across that word, I fell in love with it (just as I did the term 'pithy' in high school). However, i could very easily describe my personality in other words, and so I will.

 

- I don't necessarily plan to use the PA(s) that I shadow as a reference. Honestly, I've read a lot of stories about people shadowing 4 - 8 hours, and I don't feel that I can justifiably ask someone whose known me for such a short time to recommend me. So I just wanted to point out that that is definitely not my intention.

 

Well, I guess its back to the drawing board! Will be back with a new, edited (and hopefully better) version! Thanks again!

[UGoLong]

I have people ask me to shadow all of the time, from high school students to college graduates getting ready to apply to programs. I think you give way too much information in your letter! Some of that stuff would come out when you shadow and your preceptor talks with you.

 

In the letter, just tell them who you are, how you learned of their interest in accepting shadowers, and ask them if -- and when -- it would be convenient to shadow them. Don't ask for a big commitment (beyond a day) until you two actually spend time together.

 

I first shadowed a PA about 7 years before I entered a PA program. I had taken no prerequisites. I was a volunteer EMT and an engineer. The day opened my eyes.

 

You do not need to have all the answers to shadow; you're doing it to learn and to see what life as a PA would be like for you. I think most PAs know that and many of us were in your shoes.

 

Here's a link to my story:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1479372099/ref=tsm_1_fb_lk

[UGoLong]

I have people ask me to shadow all of the time, from high school students to college graduates getting ready to apply to programs. I think you give way too much information in your letter! Some of that stuff would come out when you shadow and your preceptor talks with you.

 

In the letter, just tell them who you are, how you learned of their interest in accepting shadowers, and ask them if -- and when -- it would be convenient to shadow them. Don't ask for a big commitment (beyond a day) until you two actually spend time together.

 

I first shadowed a PA about 7 years before I entered a PA program. I had taken no prerequisites. I was a volunteer EMT and an engineer. The day opened my eyes.

 

You do not need to have all the answers to shadow; you're doing it to learn and to see what life as a PA would be like for you. I think most PAs know that and many of us were in your shoes.

 

Here's a link to my story:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1479372099/ref=tsm_1_fb_lk

[True Anomaly]

I learned a new word today :D

[True Anomaly]

I learned a new word today :D

[aliss929]

I don't mean to be harsh, but I believe that the phrase you meant to use is "constructive criticism".

 

There is no such thing as "constructional criticism".

[aliss929]

I don't mean to be harsh, but I believe that the phrase you meant to use is "constructive criticism".

 

There is no such thing as "constructional criticism".

[sajones]

I don't mean to be harsh, but I believe that the phrase you meant to use is "constructive criticism".

 

There is no such thing as "constructional criticism".

 

Hahaha! Thanks for the correction, completely messed that one up!

 

I have people ask me to shadow all of the time, from high school students to college graduates getting ready to apply to programs. I think you give way too much information in your letter! Some of that stuff would come out when you shadow and your preceptor talks with you.

 

In the letter, just tell them who you are, how you learned of their interest in accepting shadowers, and ask them if -- and when -- it would be convenient to shadow them. Don't ask for a big commitment (beyond a day) until you two actually spend time together.

 

I first shadowed a PA about 7 years before I entered a PA program. I had taken no prerequisites. I was a volunteer EMT and an engineer. The day opened my eyes.

 

You do not need to have all the answers to shadow; you're doing it to learn and to see what life as a PA would be like for you. I think most PAs know that and many of us were in your shoes.

 

Here's a link to my story:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1479372099/ref=tsm_1_fb_lk

 

Thanks so much! I'm working on a new draft now, and hope to show an improvement this time around =] Also, thanks for the link! Will definitely check out your book - seems motivational!