Who did you vent to? - Current and Recently Graduated Students -

[PAruby]

I know I'm not the ONLY student ever having gone through PA school thinking that all these ridiculously late nights, early mornings and the fact that my social life (including with my significant other) has gone out the window and it's rough... Apparently these are normal things... so, when the going keeps getting rougher (I'm at the end of didactic, so it's been a long road and it's hard to see the light), were you able to find anyone who understood what you were dealing with?

 

After over a year, my family still doesn't get why I don't show up for birthday parties. My non-PA school friends don't get why I'm at school all day saturday AND sunday, don't drink anymore, and don't go out dancing. My fiance doesn't understand that i desperately NEED his help cleaning up after him, myself, and a 3 year old and that it would be nice to see his face around even if it just means sitting in the same room while I study rather than him going to bed and watching a movie until he's asleep... Even my classmates seem to have a better grip on this (or just repeat the phrase I've come to hate "we'll be fine"...) I KNOW we'll be fine. I'm in good position to pass with excellent grades, good relationships, etc. and it would be pretty surprising for me to fail at this point, but I feel pretty alone in my frustration and NOONE seems to get it. Everyone says "oh, it'll be worth it"... but they forget that it's hard to see the "worth it" when you're giving up every ounce of your life to push through. I still hope at the end of the day that I look back and would do it all again for the job satisfaction I see in a lot of PAs I know, but I feel like I just need somewhere to vent without seeming unappreciative, undedicated, or incapable of finishing. We all get a little overwhelmed, don't we?

[Just Steve]

1. My therapist. After years of EMS, I lost my ability to compartmentalize and learned that life is easier with an ear to chew on. I played the "tough, cold" guy for a couple of decades. Enough of those shenanigans.

 

2. My former paramedic buddies. Still love hearing the stories and I can offer them an ear that has been there and understands in grave detail. Makes for a fine evening to sit around the backyard fire pit, smoking a fine cigar, having a cocktail, and just laughing at our miseries.

 

3. I listen to myself. Your grades are good, you are confident that you will make it...that's awesome. Why the heck do you continue to whip yourself and deny your soul a break? I am not talking about totally goofing off all the time but a night every week or two will do your mind and soul well. Go put your books away, close the computer. Go snuggle up with those you love most before you both forget what it feels like.

[rev ronin]

You sound like you made the mistake of NOT moving to a different city for PA school. Moving to a different city forced my nuclear family to rely more closely on each other, and also conveniently ended every single recurring social engagement or obligation I had.

[PAruby]

Thanks!

 

@just steve - thanks, those are helpful and I can definitely relate. It's still really fun to hear stories from my paramedic friends and also remember why I decided to move on in medicine rather than staying put. I don't think I have the time to see a therapist if I wanted to LOL, but it's a good thought for the future should I need it. Thanks for those tips!

 

You sound like you made the mistake of NOT moving to a different city for PA school. Moving to a different city forced my nuclear family to rely more closely on each other, and also conveniently ended every single recurring social engagement or obligation I had.

 

@RevRonin - yes. If i had it to do ALL over again, and if I give advice to future PA students, it would most definitely be to venture AWAY for PA school. I don't think anyone told me this, and I may or may not have listened, but I definitely agree!

[EMEDPA]

You sound like you made the mistake of NOT moving to a different (STATE) for PA school. .

fixed that for you....I moved across country....it was the right choice without a doubt.

[med218]

I moved about 1,200 miles away for my PA program, best decision I ever made. We skyped with family/friends when we could. My program has a buddy system so that you have a buddy in the class ahead of you to chat with for advice (and eventually a buddy in the new class after yours). I talked to my buddy and friends in the upper class a lot, which was particularly helpful as they were quite aware of what we were going through. Didactic year is tough and can get you down, but it sounds like you're almost finished with it so don't lose hope now. I felt a similar way towards the end of my first year, but I looked forward to a short break and getting back into the clinical environment to help me get by.

[sartort]

You sound like you made the mistake of NOT moving to a different city for PA school. Moving to a different city forced my nuclear family to rely more closely on each other, and also conveniently ended every single recurring social engagement or obligation I had.

 

I chose the school close to where I grew up rather than the one a few more hours away (because I thought it was a better fit, not location). I hope I don't regret this, as I am worried about the expectations from friends and family. I lived across the country for four years but came back to the area (about two hours away) for undergrad, and ended up realizing that now people expect me to be at funerals for people I barely knew or birthday parties for a relative's kids, etc. I miss only coming back once a year sometimes, but I think there are benefits to being close as well. I will have an in-person support system other than just my classmates which I think can be refreshing sometimes, even if I feel like I am letting people down when I can't attend all of their social events.

 

@Aliclark712- Congratulations on getting excellent grades! By saying that I think you know that you can relax a bit. If you end up with a B instead of an A in one class because you spent time with people you care about, will that be a problem for you? I definitely understand wanting to excel but letting yourself relax a bit for your sanity so you don't have a breakdown is probably necessary at this point. Maybe you could vent to the people who don't understand why you never go out anymore, or try writing in a journal for a few minutes when you are feeling extra stressed.

[jen0508]

I stayed in the same city and it was do-able. i actually prefered it, so that i atleast had a life outside of school that didnt consist of hanging out with my classmates. after being in class with them 8-10 hours a day, the last thing i want to do is leave school and go see them some more. it was refreshing to be able to hang out with "outsiders"

 

i would always try to find atleast 1 night a week or every 2 weeks to hang out with friends. i would just wake up early, study ALL day and bang out whatever i had to do, and then have the night free to do whatever. However if you have a child then that is a different story

 

anyways, what you are feeling is very normal. PA school sucks. But if you're at the end of didactic, then you're kind of already at the light at the end of the tunnel. Didactic sucks, but clinicals are much better. They were actually pretty fun. Even the sucky ones that required longer hours (surgery) were still cool. I never wanted to go into surgery, but the experiences i had in my surgical rotation were pretty amazing. Same for psych, OB, etc. You basically get to taste every major area of medicine. Enjoy it. Its much better than sitting in a classroom all day. Yea you will still have to study during clinicals, but not as much as didactic. The first clinical will be hard and stressful, but they get easier and easier once you get comfortable. Its almost like going to work. When you get home, read up on things you dont understand. But theres no frenzy to study for tests like during didactic. Yea there is a test at the end of each clinical, but honestly most of what is tested on is learned on the rotation as long as you keep up.

 

relax, you got through the hardest part.