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Needing some help soul-searching...


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Long story short, I am 2.5 years into my career and at times feel that I've made a huge mistake. I feel awful knowing there are so many who wish to be in my position and here I am ungrateful for it but I am truly unhappy. At this point I've come to hate everything having to do with medicine because I find that there are so few people who genuinely care about helping people. I know that there are plenty of PA's who love their job and am wondering if there is advice anyone may have for me. I've always been an upbeat person but I see myself changing into someone I do not want to be since starting my career as a PA. With both of 2 jobs thus far I've been thrown to the wolves, as I'm sure many of you have, but since I graduated PA school at age 22, I did not have much HCE to build upon and would have loved an extensive training period with my SP. My second job promised training at the interview which was one of the main reasons I decided to take the position, however, I was told that things got "too busy" and since I am doing a good job I do not need the training. This was very discouraging since no matter how good of a job anyone does, there is always room for improvement. The rare occasion when I am feeling valued at my job makes me think I could be happy as a PA. Perhaps working in an outpatient specialty setting with quality support staff and training/on-site support from SP. I've also thought about doing a PA residency, however, they tend to take top-of-the-class students. My average was a 3.4 so while I did pretty well, I do not think I would be considered for a residency position, which doesn't make much sense to me that only those who did extremely well during PA school get to expand their knowledge while those who would benefit most from continued education are not given the opportunity. I am open to all suggestions if anyone has any for me. Have a great weekend all!

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Wow. I hope that your bad experiences and / or feelings about the profession have to do with your environment. I have been a PA for 32 years, and love my job now more than ever. I would highly suggest that you get into an environment / specialty where you are supported and feel valued. There is too much demand for PAs in this day and age for any PA to remain in a crappy job. Hang in there!

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WOW, they get younger year by year. No wonder there is a struggle....age, lack of meaningful HCE, lack of proper mentoring by physicians who don't have time anymore, staff may not respect such a young PA......I don't know.....but I would have a problem (as a patient) I think with a really young PA, NP or even an RN, but then, I am getting really "old"! I even think the newly minted MDs are suspect. LOL!

 

So, to the OP....go find a residency...maybe the VA in primary care to help you get a mentored experience. I believe you get a stipend or salary with the VA residencies for PAs.

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Sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time. Sounds like you are not a good match for your job position. I recently had a (new graduate) NP shadow who had no experience in our field. She is being provided ample one on one training with the physician / physician group. Are you in the Northeast? Don't despair. There are jobs in clinics where mentoring is available. Are you in primary care? Don't despair. There are positions available with extensive training....I am able to attend the educational classes the residents attend and my knowledge has increased tremendously over the past six months. I literally have learned more in the past six months than I learned in the past ten years. It's like being in a residency but getting paid a PA salary. Keep looking!

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Hey, I can relate. I graduated at 24 with some basic EMS experience, nothing special, and a similar GPA. Even after 30 years I second guess my decision from time to time, including having just resigned my current position with the intent of stepping into a teaching position (another thread). For those of us old enough, it isn't Marcus Welby, MD. I certainly don't see myself as a slouch as far as knowledge and skills either (nor have peers/SP's from their comments/reviews over the years). Bottom line, I expect patients to want to get well and listen to instructions on how to get there. Unfortunately, in my experience, they all naturally want to be better yesterday and aren't interested in listening to the facts ("but I can't be coughing for two weeks!!!!", and no, you don't need a stinkin' antibiotic). What some folks don't realize up front is that while the science is interesting, the human interaction may not be all that it's cracked up to be for you since you're typically seeing folks at their worst. If you don't trust/care for your SP, or others that you have to interact with, then you get it from both sides. The thing to bear in mind is that all those great GPA's may not have a lick of common sense and I've seen it for years and years, including in the physicians ("you can't use a bronchodilator for coughs"). Think about how for years folks have commented on how a second year PA student is more clinically savvy than a 3rd year, or in some cases a 4th year MS. I'd rather take a common sense individual and show them the ropes over time than take a 4.0 who can't find his pager and doesn't think to page it from home as opposed to from the office when he thinks he left it at home......think about it. Bottom line, if it isn't right for you then move on because you're ultimately the only one impacted by staying in something you don't like; unless you already have a family, which is what has delayed my transformation until the house was paid for, college funds set aside for daughter, etc.. Bottom line, follow what you feel called to do. It is your life and not theirs.

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Dear YoungPA2010,

 

Trust yourself and recognize that your expectations are very reasonable. Pursue and express your needs with your current employer. Push them if you must. Know too that other opportunities exist. Begin searching for a mentor you perceive to have qualities to which you aspire. This mentor need not be your supervising physician, but someone with whom you can talk and build a trusting relationship. Network with MDs, DOs, PAs, NPs, RNs, drug reps, suppliers etc and be willing to reach out to those you grow to know and trust for leads to connect with the opportunity you seek. You'll be surprised at how many people feel the same as you do and are willing to help or assist you in some way. Accept who you are - intelligent, thoughtful and caring from my viewpoint - and strive to be happy. Peace.

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I was young when I graduated as well at age 23. I was lucky enough to land in a primary care practice where I could go as slow as I wanted to at the beginning. This might be a good job switch for you -- to work out-patient for a while in a relaxed environment. During that time you could look into training more for the position you're more interested in. If things are still difficult at that point you could consider a residency program.

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Thank you all for your responses! I really appreciate it.

 

burnpac: I hope it is my environment too!

Paula: Yes I was able to graduate at such a young age since I attended a Bachelors program so was able to do prereqs in 2 years then PA school in 2 years. There are many people who are leery of young practitioners and I don't blame them but when I encounter patients who feel that way I can't help but be discouraged that I put my life on hold for PA school and got into massive debt to be made to feel incompetent by some. On the bright side, more often than not, I have gained the trust of those who felt that way by the end of the encounter. And I am not from SDN.

entpac: Your position sounds great that you have access to quality CME! I agree that I am not a good match for this position, and yes I am in northeast.

Teasip: You make good points- common sense is not that common! I am fortunate in that I do not have any major obligations in my life right now other than student loan debt and my car so I would definitely be willing to take a pay cut to be happy.

mjgpa: Thank you so much for your kind words! I have brought up my concerns to my employer who means well but doesn't understand the extent of my frustrations. I've been with my SP <6 months so I don't want to seem like I am complaining too much so soon. I am definitely focused on finding happiness!

just_me: You're right, I should try for a residency anyway. The additional debt med school would put me in is very unattractive though LOL.

Tom PA: I think outpatient would be a good job switch for me too, it's just a matter of finding an SP willing to put in the time to train me. It's surprising to me how many SP's do not put in the time to train appropriately since as a PA we are a representation of the MD! (or supposed to be anyway)

 

Thanks again to all who replied!

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Thank you all for your responses! I really appreciate it.

 

burnpac: I hope it is my environment too!

Paula: Yes I was able to graduate at such a young age since I attended a Bachelors program so was able to do prereqs in 2 years then PA school in 2 years. There are many people who are leery of young practitioners and I don't blame them but when I encounter patients who feel that way I can't help but be discouraged that I put my life on hold for PA school and got into massive debt to be made to feel incompetent by some. On the bright side, more often than not, I have gained the trust of those who felt that way by the end of the encounter. And I am not from SDN.

entpac: Your position sounds great that you have access to quality CME! I agree that I am not a good match for this position, and yes I am in northeast.

Teasip: You make good points- common sense is not that common! I am fortunate in that I do not have any major obligations in my life right now other than student loan debt and my car so I would definitely be willing to take a pay cut to be happy.

mjgpa: Thank you so much for your kind words! I have brought up my concerns to my employer who means well but doesn't understand the extent of my frustrations. I've been with my SP <6 months so I don't want to seem like I am complaining too much so soon. I am definitely focused on finding happiness!

just_me: You're right, I should try for a residency anyway. The additional debt med school would put me in is very unattractive though LOL.

Tom PA: I think outpatient would be a good job switch for me too, it's just a matter of finding an SP willing to put in the time to train me. It's surprising to me how many SP's do not put in the time to train appropriately since as a PA we are a representation of the MD! (or supposed to be anyway)

 

Thanks again to all who replied!

 

You need to be fed up and realize that you need to train yourself. Yes procedures need direct training but most aspects of medicine require reading/understanding/applying. The life of a PA is no different then that of a MD in the learning aspect. Maybe a part time position that allows you time to study in depth the field in which you are interested. I am in the NE and medicine can be a vicious environment. Physicians, colleges, staff can be very brutal. It makes you stronger.

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I fear we will see more of these disgruntled very young PAs. I just finished a second semester teaching PA students at a direct-entry program of good repute--they are bright, young, eager and overwhelmingly female. Most will graduate at 22 with zero prior HCE and sometimes I think iffy clinical prep. The truly dedicated and/or lucky will find good mentorship but it's a scary job to start out in with little life experience and a ton of responsibility.

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To everyone out there that it is not possible to be a PA at age 21, I am an example! I graduated with a BS in physician assistant studies last year and I was 21 years old when I passed my boards. I went right out of high school to a direct PA program. And as I just started working in a very busy primary care, I realize that PA school didn't prepare me for the things am dealing with. But I am lucky to have good support from all the physicians on board.

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I would be available to talk with you on the phone and that would go for any PA who is having a rough time. I have been in one full time specialty for forty years but as a leader who wanted to understand the problems of my colleagues in other subspeciaties, I have worked P/T for four months in almost every specialty. I can feel your pain and disillusionment but it all comes back to expectations and your desire to serve patients. I would not let a lousy physician or an overbearing PA steal my passion or calling , if I were you. This is a great profession with many opportunities and you need to expand those opportunities because somewhere in the future the shoe will fit perfectly.

Bob Blumm

Send me your name and telephone number to surgblumm@gmail.com

Bob Blumm

Treasurer, PAFT (Physician Assistants for Tomorrow)

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  • 2 weeks later...
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I worked with a 19 yr old pa years ago. lived at home with her folks. could order morphine but couldn't buy a beer.

back to the o.p's concern- definitely do a residency. there are many now and you would be surprised how few folks apply. apply to 3-4 and you will get into at least 1.

also, re: burnout- consider volunteering at a local free clinic or overseas. I always feel much better about my career and life choices after working for a few weeks in Haiti with folks who really need and appreciate the help.

also find something outside of medicine or a niche piece of medicine that you really enjoy. I went back to school 2 yrs ago to work on a doctorate in global health and enjoy thinking about things outside my normal life experience and discussing topics with folks working towards the same goal.

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OP,

 

Do what makes you happy life is too short to do otherwise. If after 2.5 yrs you are still as unhappy as you indicate maybe being a PA just isn't for you. Being unhappy for 2.5 yrs in 2 different jobs is just not worth it. As someone mentioned Dr Welby is gone. This is a screaming testimonial for extensive HCE prior to going to PA school. It isn't just the medical knowledge you get from HCE it is the life experience and maturity that comes with it along with a preview of how brutal the medical world can be. PA school alone does not toughen you to this or teach you everything you should know. Too much money at stake for the schools. As I said do what brings you peace and happiness. It is OK to walk away from this PA thing if that works for you.

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OP,

 

Do what makes you happy life is too short to do otherwise. If after 2.5 yrs you are still as unhappy as you indicate maybe being a PA just isn't for you. Being unhappy for 2.5 yrs in 2 different jobs is just not worth it. As someone mentioned Dr Welby is gone. This is a screaming testimonial for extensive HCE prior to going to PA school. It isn't just the medical knowledge you get from HCE it is the life experience and maturity that comes with it along with a preview of how brutal the medical world can be. PA school alone does not toughen you to this or teach you everything you should know. Too much money at stake for the schools. As I said do what brings you peace and happiness. It is OK to walk away from this PA thing if that works for you.

 

This^^^^ Medicine isn't for everyone. It can be soul sucking, brutal, thankless, and can simply suck the life out of you.....It's not for everyone. Patients can be the worst part. Just the non stop onslaught daily can simply zap any amount of empathy right out of you. I've come home (more than once) and thought Oh my f'n god, can't everyone just SHUT up for awhile.....I've been listening to people all day....I just want quiet. I never say that, because I want to have a happy marriage, but that doesn't mean I don't think it......Then again, I've had at least 2 residents tell me that I reminded them personality wise of Dr. Cox from scrubs....I'm not sure if they meant that as a compliment or an insult......

 

Point is, it might not be for you, there's nothing wrong with that. You can go into education, health administration (get an MBA or MHA), you can go into other fields using your PA as a foundation. I wish you luck....

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How does one finish PA school at 19?

graduate high school at 16 as a candy stripper, spend the next yr getting prereqs at a CC and working as a cna then a 2 yr pa program. This was > 20 yrs ago. we worked together in 1987-1991. That program is now an ms program( Was A.S. then).

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graduate high school at 16 as a candy stripper, spend the next yr getting prereqs at a CC and working as a cna then a 2 yr pa program. This was > 20 yrs ago. we worked together in 1987-1991. That program is now an ms program( Was A.S. then).

 

Goodness gracious, at age 19 I was scared of my shadow! She must have had a whole lot of confidence to know she wanted to be a PA at that young of age.

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she should have gone to medschool. in retrospect she wasn't a very good pa.

 

You can't say that, E. You'd just be being mean and unfairly crushing newbie dreams. After all, no one could legitimately be trying to tell traditional age folks to go to med school. We must have some vast dark ulterior motive in doing so. Can't POSSIBLY be for a good reason... </sarcasm>

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