Personal Statement!!! (please give feedback: good & bad, What to add or take out)

[a_sutton86]

I have always wanted to work inthe medical field one way or another. It took me a while to figure out exactlywhat I wanted to do in the medical field. I became a pharmacy technician aboutfour years ago. Mainly because I needed a job that paid more than minimum wagesince I am a single mom going to through college. The other reason was to findout if that was something I would like to do as a career. After working in apharmacy for a few years I realized counting pills is not what I want to do forthe rest of my life. I knew I wanted to help people but the pharmacy is not theway I want to help. I want to have way more patient interaction than Icurrently do.

I did not learn about what a physicianassistant was until I had my own experience with a physician assistant. A lightbulb went off after that encounter. So I decided to do some research about thecareer field. After learning what a physician assistant role was I decided thatit was the career I would like to have eventually.

In my experience receiving carefrom physician assistants, I realized that physician assistants have themedical training to be confident in their field and provide excellent care totheir patients. I learned that physician assistants can greatly enhance thequality of care provided in a doctor’s office and hospital setting by splittingup the care between them and the doctors. My experiences with physicianassistants have led me to have a great appreciation for this career and I ammotivated to become a physician assistant.

As an adult, and mother; myfamily and I on more than one occasion was cared for by a physician assistant. Ihave witnessed that a physician assistants have the ability and willingness totake the time to explain conditions, understand concerns, and answer questionswhich I find as an incredible relief. I believe that because of theoverwhelming patient load on doctors, sometimes they are unable to give thesame important attention that the physician assistant can provide. My positiveexperience with these physician assistants awoke a desire in me to provide thesame service to others.

[lumina]

I would recommend looking at the book "Getting Into the Physician Assistant School of Your Choice." It is a little outdated with its facts but it gives really helpful advice and information about the PA profession and application process. There is a chapter specifically on the essay that would be helpful now.

 

The book basically states the the personal statement is the MOST IMPORTANT part of the application process (pre-interview). A serious candidate spends a considerable amount of time writing and rewriting the narrative statement.

 

I probably spent a month total making sure my essay was ready and I rewrote it twice. It also basically used up the total amount of characters allowed.

 

You explain here that you want to be a PA and why but I think it would be a good idea to include attributes (i.e. a team player) that you believe a good PA has and why you are a good fit for the profession (because you too have these qualities). This approach shows the schools that you know what Pas are beyond their roles and responsibilities. Also be sure to proofread the essay many times before submitting - don't want any mistakes in it!

 

Best of Luck!

[Just Steve]

I have always wanted to work inthe medical field one way or another. It took me a while to figure out exactlywhat I wanted to do in the medical field. I became a pharmacy technician aboutfour years ago. Mainly because I needed a job that paid more than minimum wagesince I am a single mom going to through college. The other reason was to findout if that was something I would like to do as a career. After working in apharmacy for a few years I realized counting pills is not what I want to do forthe rest of my life. I knew I wanted to help people but the pharmacy is not theway I want to help. I want to have way more patient interaction than Icurrently do.

I did not learn about what a physicianassistant was until I had my own experience with a physician assistant. A lightbulb went off after that encounter. So I decided to do some research about thecareer field. After learning what a physician assistant role was I decided thatit was the career I would like to have eventually.

In my experience receiving carefrom physician assistants, I realized that physician assistants have themedical training to be confident in their field and provide excellent care totheir patients. I learned that physician assistants can greatly enhance thequality of care provided in a doctor’s office and hospital setting by splittingup the care between them and the doctors. My experiences with physicianassistants have led me to have a great appreciation for this career and I ammotivated to become a physician assistant.

As an adult, and mother; myfamily and I on more than one occasion was cared for by a physician assistant. Ihave witnessed that a physician assistants have the ability and willingness totake the time to explain conditions, understand concerns, and answer questionswhich I find as an incredible relief. I believe that because of theoverwhelming patient load on doctors, sometimes they are unable to give thesame important attention that the physician assistant can provide. My positiveexperience with these physician assistants awoke a desire in me to provide thesame service to others.

 

In my opinion a personal statement should tell me something about you. From your essay I know you are a mother, have been a patient, and have worked as a pharm tech for about four years as a way to make a bit of money. The rest of your statement is pretty vacant of hard facts or interesting tidbits...read: bland.

 

Is there anything else that you would like the AdCom to know about you? Is there anything that you can share in your PS that would make you stand out from the other 800 people who have shadowed PAs and feel that this is the career for them?

 

It would really be helpful when trying to proofread your essay if you could work on the sentence construction a bit... I am not sure if this is a super rough draft, there was a transcription error, or if you typed it on your smart phone but the lack of paragraphs, the words without spaces in between, and the lack of flow make it pretty tough to distill out the message being sent.

 

Good luck