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Hi, just wanted some opinion on my content. I can go back and do grammar later so dont worry about that. I just want to know the essay is great for the adcom.

Thanks!

 

“Touch those lines!” Our coach would yell, as we continued to sprint down and back the tennis courts. These were the typical afternoon practices during my four years on the Howard Payne men’s tennis team. We all worked hard to achieve our personal goals, but more importantly we knew that success could only be achieved through teamwork.

 

Being on the tennis team, has taught me the value of teamwork and that no role is above another. I believe the healthcare setting is similar to that of a tennis team. Some players may be more skilled than another, but each player serve the same purpose, and that is to work for the benefit of the team. Becoming a physician assistant (PA) will allow me to demonstrate my strong teamwork when working with both physicians and nurses. It will also provide me with the opportunity to utilize my naturally compassionate and caring nature to help my patients.

 

To gain a better insight on the PA profession, I had my externship with Dr. Michael Champine and his colleague, Mr. Darren Hughes, who is a PA. I had the opportunity to observe the surgical process of an elderly patient undergoing partial knee replacement. It was her last checkup before the surgery, and consisted of last minute details. She was nervous about the surgery, but excited for the chance to walk again. Mr. Hughes impressed me with his display of compassion and sincerity when answering her questions and even telling jokes to ease her anxieties. His comforting words, mixed with humor made me realize the importance of listening to and caring for patients in healthcare. During the operation, Dr. Champine and Mr. Hughes’s teamwork demonstrated perfectly how valuable the PA position is to a medical doctor. Mr. Hughes was involved throughout the surgery, from prepping the knee, to assisting in the removal of damaged ligaments, replacing it with prosthesis, and later stitching the incision. I realized how much autonomy he had during surgery, and became very interested at the chance of having such flexibility as a PA. After the surgery, Mr. Hughes visited the patient each morning during her recovery. Her spirit lifted when Mr. Hughes said she would be able to walk that evening. When asked what he loved best about being a PA, Mr. Hughes said that the recovery process was the most rewarding, because it showed the results of his work, and the role he played in helping her gain mobility. I was motivated by his compassion and high-level professionalism and plan to emulate the same attributes in my own practice as a PA.

 

My pursuit for a career in medicine became much stronger when I received the opportunity to work as a research assistant in autonomic disorders under Dr. Ishan Adhikari at the Heart Beat Clinic (HBC). This position challenged me to comprehend different kinds of autonomic disorders with special emphasis on the symptomatology and etiology of Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS). Patients with POTS are unable to stand for a long period of time due to the lack of vasoconstriction in the legs, which may cause lightheadedness, nausea, or syncope. Through diligence and hard work, I was able to test for POTS by performing the autonomic functions test and was able to explain the test in a language easily understood by patients.

My experience with testing for POTS showed me the detrimental effects of the syndrome, and I developed a deep empathy when hearing about each patient’s struggles. One patient mentioned that after searching for several health clinics, none was able to help her, until the HBC. She shared with me her dreams to one day overcome this syndrome and continue her career as a nurse. Her daily struggles reminded me of the simple tasks I take for granted but the hope that the HBC has given her helped me to further understand the value in healthcare.

Currently, she is undergoing the External Counterpulsation (ECP) treatment, and my task is to monitor her treatment. The purpose of the ECP is to improve the circulation of her heart through the inflation and deflation of pneumatic cuffs on each leg. With each treatment, I constantly see her energy and optimism grow. It is encouraging to see that a part of my work was impacting her life, and this gave me more reasons to pursue a career as a PA.

 

My position at the HBC has cemented my desires to become a PA as it exposed me to the unique positions of doctors, nurses and medical assistant; it showed me the challenges of the medical field; and it provided me with an opportunity to make an impact on the lives of others. With my motivation and aptitude, I believe I am a qualified candidate for your physician assistant program. I am excited about the opportunity to further my education, and request you consider my application as a candidate for PA school. I have enjoyed the time spent learning in the healthcare setting as an observer and as a medical technician, and plan to use my education to make a positive impact in the medical world.

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hi. MUCH better essay. the tone is much better and youre focused. One suggestion i would make is to switch the 4th and 5th paragraphs? I feel like it would flow better but that may only be me. I would also mention something about teamwork in your conclusion since you mentioned it in your introduction. Good luck!

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