People in my class are too competitive? Feeling sad and discouraged

[Pagrad26]

Hey guys,

I guess this is more of a vent session than anything, but also hoping for some feedback and advice. 

I recently started at a new PA program - we are their first cohort so we have no previous classes to look to for advice. At first I loved my program and I got along well with everyone!

But lately I feel discouraged. Three days into the program I joined a study group and one of the men in my group sent me a somewhat threatening text, telling me not to share any materials that we exchange within our study group especially his because he worked hard on his materials. I hadn’t even done anything at that point, I just joined the group because someone invited me and that was my “welcome to the group” text. 
 

And I totally understand where he is coming from. But at the same time, shouldn’t we be working and collaborating together as colleagues instead of hoarding our study materials to ourselves? We are a new program so shouldn’t we all focus on passing and graduating together so that our school gets accreditation?

 I tried starting a class drive hoping more people would be willing to share materials and help one another but no one seems to want to. I feel like everyone is in this competitive mindset where they clique up together into little groups and don’t want to help their fellow classmates. Like they purposefully do not want to share.

I make my own study materials too so it’s not like I’m looking to profit off of someone else’s work. It’s just that we are the first cohort and we have been exhausting ourselves composing our own study materials. People are crying due to stress and I just feel like we could all save a lot of time if we worked with one another more. 

Yesterday I posted a reminder in our class chat that the drive is there, and I posted my own materials as well, but no one seems to care. I feel so discouraged. A majority of my classmates are fresh out of school and just graduated last year, so I feel like they are still in the competitive mindset where they feel like intelligence is based solely on grades and that they have to do better than others. 

and what really frustrates me is that I feel like my classmates look down on me or think I am stupid, when in reality I’ve been making straight A’s. I feel like they are so quick to dismiss me and my voice as a minority woman, and I’ve noticed they do the same thing for other minority students as well, who have vented their frustrations and feel the same. 
 

I’m really starting to feel at a loss with some of my classmates. I know I can bring a horse to water but I can’t make it drink, but all of this is getting to me and makes me sad.  We have brought up some complaints about how uncomfortable minority students feel in this program to one of the faculty members (who is also a person of color) and while she understands, she says we can’t change other people’s way of thinking.  But she does not talk to these students either. Idk what to do anymore.  does anyone have any advice or been in a similar situation? 

Edited May 27, 2021 by pastudent26

[DiggySRNA]

Professional programs are FULL OF TYPE A PERSONALITIES.

I came across a few in my accelerated BSN program. Make your exit from that group chat/study group and find yourself 1-2 students you mesh well with and study. Do not get caught up with people like that.

Hold your head down, pass, and graduate. Your chances of seeing these individuals again will be slim to none.

Spend your energy elsewhere. This is coming from a minority male.

PS. You're all adults, faculty cannot make or tell anyone how to "get along". Do not go seeking trouble and trouble won't find you. Your job is to graduate. In the real world, you will come across many coworkers you can't stand. 

Edited May 27, 2021 by Diggy

[rev ronin]

One of the things I loved the most about Pacific's PA program was that ALL classes are pass/fail, so there's no GPA element to class standing, so there's no reason to NOT help your classmates.  I made a habit of taking notes in the form of short-answer questions, and prior to every unit's test, I would distribute two copies to the class--one with questions and answers, one with the answers deleted.  I know people used them, because three separate people corrected an error I made in the cardiac anatomy one.   Not that that can help you, but yeah, EVEN WITH all that lack of structural motivation for competitiveness, there were still people who would cut others down and hate on folks behind their backs.  Sad, really.

[CAAdmission]

Own your feelings. Don't let a bunch of petty psychos dictate how you feel about yourself or your program. You worked hard to get where you are, and you'll be fine. 

[UGoLong]

I sense that you are trying to change your classes' mindset and that too is causing stress. If you want to share your notes, go for it but don't expect it to necessarily change the behavior of others. That's a recipe for even more unhappiness on your part.

Be yourself and find people that you click with in your class, if any. You'll only be there for a short while (before clinicals start). I had some really good friends, several acquaintances, and a couple od classmates that almost no one got along with. That is pretty much textbook for life. The stress comes in when you start expecting others to change.

Personally I wasn't a big study group guy: just now and then. You take the PANCE by yourself and study groups often seem to talk more about what I knew and spent less time on what I didn't. But to each his or her own!

Edited May 30, 2021 by UGoLong

[Pagrad26]

On 5/27/2021 at 6:07 PM, Diggy said:

Professional programs are FULL OF TYPE A PERSONALITIES.

I came across a few in my accelerated BSN program. Make your exit from that group chat/study group and find yourself 1-2 students you mesh well with and study. Do not get caught up with people like that.

Hold your head down, pass, and graduate. Your chances of seeing these individuals again will be slim to none.

Spend your energy elsewhere. This is coming from a minority male.

PS. You're all adults, faculty cannot make or tell anyone how to "get along". Do not go seeking trouble and trouble won't find you. Your job is to graduate. In the real world, you will come across many coworkers you can't stand. 

Hey Diggy, sorry for the late reply. Just wanted to say thank you so much for your response and sharing your perspective, I think I really needed that.  

Definitely made my exit from that group after the first week of school because a lot of my PA friends told me the study group didn’t sound very healthy. I have to say it was a good decision and it’s comforting after reading your response to know I made the right decision! The people who keep me going are the 1-2 friends I have made in the program and we all mesh well and study together! 
 

There is still tension in the classroom and it’s very easy to tell when people are annoyed with each other. Sadly feels like high school all over again and sometimes it affects my mental health, but you are right that my energy is better off spent elsewhere. And it really does put things in perspective to think that technically the faculty really can’t make us do anything, because you are right - we are all adults.  So I’m going to keep trying and focusing on myself as you said! I will be discussing this in therapy so hopefully it helps. Thanks again for your response, much appreciated  

 

 

[Pagrad26]

On 5/27/2021 at 8:14 PM, rev ronin said:

One of the things I loved the most about Pacific's PA program was that ALL classes are pass/fail, so there's no GPA element to class standing, so there's no reason to NOT help your classmates.  I made a habit of taking notes in the form of short-answer questions, and prior to every unit's test, I would distribute two copies to the class--one with questions and answers, one with the answers deleted.  I know people used them, because three separate people corrected an error I made in the cardiac anatomy one.   Not that that can help you, but yeah, EVEN WITH all that lack of structural motivation for competitiveness, there were still people who would cut others down and hate on folks behind their backs.  Sad, really.

So sorry for the late response rev ronin, but wow thank you for sharing your story. You sound like an amazing, supportive classmate to have! It really is sad though to hear that despite your support as a classmate and despite everything your program implemented to prevent competition, people still tried to find a way to cut others down.  just wow. It really just goes to show there will always be people like that no matter where you go or what you do. 
 

Aside from that depressing note haha, thank you again for sharing your story. It helps me realize the grass isn’t always greener on the other side and we all gotta push through different challenges in PA school.  

[rev ronin]

55 minutes ago, pastudent26 said:

You sound like an amazing, supportive classmate to have! It really is sad though to hear that despite your support as a classmate and despite everything your program implemented to prevent competition, people still tried to find a way to cut others down.

Be careful judging a situation by one side of the story.  PA school stress brings out the worst in a lot of people, and if you got out of that that I was some sort of a saintly uber-cooperator, that would be inaccurate.  Frankly, I prioritized my family and working at a volunteer fire department during PA school, so I was far from AS helpful as I should have been.  Don't get me wrong, there were a couple of people who just despised me for reasons I don't adequately understand, but when you put a huge lot of people together in a pressure cooker, we're not all ever going to come out sunshine and roses.

[Pagrad26]

19 minutes ago, rev ronin said:

Be careful judging a situation by one side of the story.  PA school stress brings out the worst in a lot of people, and if you got out of that that I was some sort of a saintly uber-cooperator, that would be inaccurate.  Frankly, I prioritized my family and working at a volunteer fire department during PA school, so I was far from AS helpful as I should have been.  Don't get me wrong, there were a couple of people who just despised me for reasons I don't adequately understand, but when you put a huge lot of people together in a pressure cooker, we're not all ever going to come out sunshine and roses.

Dang you really had your hands full during PA school! Still, even if you weren’t the most saintly person or didn’t help as much as you could or should, you still did a pretty nice thing for your classmates by making those questions - all while balancing a life with your family and volunteering  I gotta give you props! 
 

But also I understand what you’re saying, duly noted.   I like the pressure cooker analogy. I find PA school stress is bringing out the worst in me and I’m kind of shocked with myself...Usually I’m quiet and a go-with-the-flow kind of person, but here I find myself getting more irritable. It’s not so much the workload that is getting to me but  moreso the tensions I feel in the classroom among classmates. It’s hard navigating these waters, but all this is a hard lesson I’m going to have to learn and handle with grace.

 

[Pagrad26]

On 5/29/2021 at 10:34 AM, UGoLong said:

I sense that you are trying to change your classes' mindset and that too is causing stress. If you want to share your notes, go for it but don't expect it to necessarily change the behavior of others. That's a recipe for even more unhappiness on your part.

Be yourself and find people that you click with in your class, if any. You'll only be there for a short while (before clinicals start). I had some really good friends, several acquaintances, and a couple od classmates that almost no one got along with. That is pretty much textbook for life. The stress comes in when you start expecting others to change.

Personally I wasn't a big study group guy: just now and then. You take the PANCE by yourself and study groups often seem to talk more about what I knew and spent less time on what I didn't. But to each his or her own!

Oh yeah you hit the nail right on the head. it was definitely causing stress and unhappiness on my part. I got way too wrapped up in wishful thinking. I kept thinking the grass is greener on the other side when my friends told me upperclassmen shared materials with them and their classmates were very collaborative. The culture here at my program is very different but...you’re right I’ll have to adapt. it is a difficult process but one that I know I’ll have to go through if I want to thrive in this field.

All of this has been such a huge adjustment. We always hear how hard pa school is but man, actually experiencing it is such a different ballgame! It’s also an adjustment to stop worrying about what others think or how my classmates see me and just focus on myself. 
 

thank you again for sharing your perspective. It’s much appreciated! 

[CAAdmission]

On 6/10/2021 at 1:44 AM, rev ronin said:

 Don't get me wrong, there were a couple of people who just despised me for reasons I don't adequately understand,

No matter who you are, someone would be cheered by news of your death. In my case, scores of people.

[MediMike]

On 6/17/2021 at 6:36 PM, CAAdmission said:

No matter who you are, someone would be cheered by news of your death. In my case, scores of people.

Don't be ridiculous.  It's likely dozens at most.

[Cideous]

20 years ago if you met another PA out "in the wild" it was like you were always best friends.  Every PA I met was amazing, helpful and just plain cool.  I noticed a massive shift about 10 years ago once the job market started to tighten.  Since then it has turned into a full blown FU contest.  Almost every young and old PA I meet now is an asshole.  Guarded, snotty and bitter (or as they say in the south, ugly).  I've talked to my wife about this many times as I could not figure out what happened to the people in this profession.  How did it go from us vs them to everyone out to screw over each other?

I still don't know the answer, but jesh...this is not the same profession it was when I signed up.

Edited June 27, 2021 by Cideous