My Narrative!!! Please advise!!!! let me know what you think! Thank you

[tmesapa]

Please read it and let me know what you think!! Thank you so much!

 

"With your history, I am worried that this could be cancer." These were the startling words that my mother's physician said during her doctor's appointment, which took place during the middle of my sophomore year at college. I will never forget how I was overcome with overwhelming concern, fear and a feeling of helplessness for the situation that we were facing with my mother. The doctor stepped out and his Physician Assistant (PA) entered the room shortly thereafter. The PA was wonderful. She was compassionate and took a great deal of time discussing my mother's physical exam findings and the differential diagnosis with us. She put us more at ease by making us understand that we should not automatically expect the worst and that we needed to await the biopsy and subsequent pathology report. Thankfully, we received benign results which ended this scary situation. However, it was the beginning of my path to a career in healthcare. I wanted to know more, feel less helpless, and be able to help, comfort and treat patients the way the PA did for my mother. I began to research the PA profession. I was so fascinated with this occupation that I decided to change the direction of my career, and started my journey to become a Physician Assistant.

 

I was born in Colombia, and at the age of 15, I moved to the United States with my family in search of a safer life. We completed and submitted all the necessary documents to become permanent residents of the U.S.

During my first year of college, we learned that the U.S. Immigration accidentally lost our files. This situation made it necessary for me to travel several times with my family to different immigration offices in Miami and in Atlanta. Unfortunately, all the multiple absences from school affected my academic performance during my second and third semester. Once this situation was completely resolved, I was able to remain in town and immediately improved my grades.

 

I was fortunate to be hired by one of the world's leading umbilical cord blood banking companies as a cord blood collector. My new position required that I get certified by taking a training course at Duke University Medical Center. A portion of my training involved shadowing one of the world's cord blood experts, Dr. Joanne Kurtzberg, while she cared for children with life-threatening diseases. I witnessed her performing a cord blood transplant on a young girl with Leukemia. I was able to experience firsthand how a healthcare practitioner and her team performed a potentially life-saving procedure, while also giving hope to the parents, who were so devastated by their child's illness. It reinforced to me how fulfilling and wonderful it would be to be the PA on a healthcare team that greatly impacts the lives of patients and families. Following my training at Duke, I began working within the labor and delivery department at Winnie Palmer Hospital for Women and Babies. My duties involved talking with expectant parents about their option of donating their babies' cord blood, obtaining their medical histories and collecting the blood from the umbilical cord and the placenta.

 

To expand upon my experiences in clinical settings, I decided to shadow different PAs. I witnessed how each of them cared for their patients, and also observed their interaction with their respective supervising doctors. The various medical challenges that they faced, their knowledge of how best to treat their patients and the autonomy that they had in caring for them was stimulating and moving. Each day I spent with the PAs strengthened my desire and passion to become one of them.

 

My resolve to become a PA increased with each additional clinical experience. While volunteering at Dr. Phillips Hospital, I had the opportunity to assist nurses and doctors at the Progressive Care Unit. I was also able to volunteer as a patient advocate for patients with cancer and neurological diseases. During my rounds as a patient advocate, I encountered patients who had no family members present to support them. It was extremely rewarding for me to put smiles on their faces after giving them my undivided attention and allowing them to share their feelings with me. I remember a patient who felt isolated because she spoke only Spanish. My ability to speak fluent Spanish made it possible for her to voice her concerns and questions. Comforting her was extremely gratifying for me.

 

Every healthcare experience, in which I was fortunate to participate, has excited me about the career that I have chosen. I am certain that by being a PA, I will be able to have a positive impact on my patients by providing them with the quality time and care they deserve. The flexibility of being able to change specialties, at various times in my life, will allow me to fulfill my passion of caring for all types of patients. I know that spending my life as a Physician Assistant and caring for others will be rewarding and enjoyable.

[GatorRRT]

Your narrative is fairly well written. You explained any acadmic issues you had succinctly and did not dwell on them. All in all, I'd say your essay is solid. I would think about maybe expanding a bit more on your shadowing experiences and how they further helped you decide PA was for you. Other than that, good work!

[tmesapa]

Thank you so much! for taking the time to read it and for your advice!!! :)

[tamhle824]

I loved it. You have a lot of experience with shadowing. However, I have read so many statements and a lot of them start out with experiences with a PA due to being sick, taken care of and such. Its a great story, but I believe the statement should be about selling yourself as a pa student. Why should they choose you? What makes you qualified to be a part of their program? Teamwork? Discipline? Goals? Dreams?

It was great that you addressed your academic grades and moved on quickly, but like the last post said add more! Best wishes this cycle!

[tmesapa]

Thank you so much for your advice!!! I really appreciate it :)