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Third Draft, need your critiquing!

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Ready for your critiquing. Any suggestions/questions? Please don't hold back.


For your convenience, here are my stats that will explain some things:

- 3.24 cGPA

- Volunteered in ER for 3 years, EMT-B 2 years, CPR Instructor 0.5 year.

- Received one F in "Individual Topics", research for credit.

- Notable upward trend in last 33 credits.




"Code Blue, 6 East. Code Blue, 6 East.” It was 0243 in the Emergency Room. I had just finished detaching EKG leads from a patient. "We're going upstairs. Now." a nurse suddenly told me. Immediately, I went into the med room and grabbed the code box and airway bag. Once upstairs, we ran to the room at the end of the Oncology ward along with the floor staff. At first, a floor nurse began performing CPR on the patient. The doctor walked in and stood at the head of the patient. "Go ahead and push 1 mg Epi," he said calmly. The nurse looked at me, out of breath with eyes wide open. "You ready?" she asked. At once, I stepped on the platform and began pushing deeply on his chest as if I was touching his spine. I gazed at the elderly patient as my head oscillated up and down about 100 times a minute. For months I had been a CPR Instructor who worked with mannequins; and just then I experienced a life and death situation. I continued chest compressions for 20 more minutes until the doctor stated his time of death. I put my hands to my knees and looked at the team, breathless and disheartened. However, it took a demoralizing lesson in medicine to instill in me the confidence of pursuing a career in collaborative medicine. Now, my prime aspiration is to become a Physician Assistant to be a part of an advancing patient-centered, team-based profession.


The rest in Google Docs! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1J86BpShQrLCk8NSeM6MX_xbSGlKdB0qeJErFaZwKlkc/edit . (To comment directly, select text, right click, click "Comment".)




Thank you very much for your time.

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