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Surprise Divorce Week 1 of PA School > should I defer


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Week 1 of PA school my husband told me he wanted a divorce, 3 days later he had moved most of his stuff out. I had insomnia for the 1st 5 days that was SOOOOOO bad, not a minute of sleep. I eventually got medication to put me down... Ive gotten really behind, especially in anatomy even though Ive been studying everyday and got a 92% on the first quiz....

Its the beginning of week 4 so I passed the tuition refund date. But I still really want to defer.... Theres a job in a medical office I know I could get back, so I should be able to pay my rent and expenses (id literally only be able to eat rice and beans) and if my ex finds out I deferred he's likely to get mad and not to help me pay for rent since he paid the first semester and now that tuition is gone. On top of that it'd be REALLLLLY embarrassing to have everyone in my office know what happened but I think that I need to heal myself, learn how to live on my own, go to church, therapy and re-start the semester next year.  ALSO maybe we won't be in the middle of COVID pocalypse? Because study groups aren't a thing in my program. Everyone is drowning remotely and no one wants to risk losing study time to meet up in the park

WHAT DO I DO. IM A GOOD STUDIER BUT I FEEL ALL OVER THE PLACE. NOTES EVERYWHERE, NO TIME TO EXCERCISE. CANT SLEEP. If my friend weren't staying with me I wouldn't be eating right now.

Edited by Emw2153
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Honestly I would stick it out.  Easy for me to say.  School may take your mind off all this terrible stuff going on.  If you defer are you guarantee to get back in?  Maybe talk to a school advisor.  You don't need straight A in PA school so I'm sure your grades will be fine.  Sorry your going through this.  Lean on your friends and family.

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I would stick it out too.  I was in a relationship that I walked out on just prior to PA school.  Got back together and then it ended during clinical year.  Took my day to crumble, then picked myself back up and stayed focus on finishing what I started.  Stay focused and surround yourself with encouraging people.  

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There is pretty much no way to get a divorce handed to you without a sense of shame.  That doesn't mean that sense of shame is justified or appropriate, but if you cared enough to get married in the first place, it hurts, probably a whole lot.

PA school is a very emotionally demanding place.  Not only is the workload hard, but you're likely going to be up close and personal with more human tragedy than you've encountered before.  I don't think any of us can tell you whether you can make it or not, but I do know that PA school started easy for me and got progressively harder.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this and make such a decision.

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Thanks everyone. I’m going to stick it out. Ive been studying every day at least 6-8 hours on the weekends. My study method was a bit all over the place the first few weeks so I’m unsure how prepared I am for the hard classes Pharm, Anatomy, Physio but Ive been throwing all my focus into these classes, when I’m not emotionally spun out and after talking to my classmates over zoom today I think i might actually be in a good place studying.... at least compared to others (which I am trying not to do bc at the end of the day its all about passing the PANCE). I pray that in December I can tell you all that I did it. I made it through. I’m going to visualize it everyday. I’d appreciate any positive energy/prayers (if you believe in that) that you could send my way and any tips you had for focusing the study method. 

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