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Depressed, but not sure what I need?


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So, I have about 1/3 left of my didactic year. First two semesters I did very well, all A’s, top of my class. I’m so incredibly depressed, I lost so much sleep trying to get those grades and feel like I won’t do well my last semester. My program has a terrible format and it feels like they intentionally try and f*ck us over. We are on break and it makes me miss normal life. I’m to the point of having nightmares about school and old faculty members. I don’t think medication would help me and I’m really against that as an option for me. I also really just want to find a nice guy, snuggle and sleep the day away. I’m not sure if I’m depressed or lonely or need to take time off. Thoughts? 

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Curious were you taking any days off during the week from studying consistently? I made it a point to take Fridays off from any studying during didactic year.

I didn't get all A's but managed mostly A's and B's with a C sprinkled here and there due to pharmacology, but at the same time felt mostly sane the whole way, not to say there weren't days where you just want to throw your notes up into the air and say F-it!

It sounds like you have to stop worrying about being top of the class, and worry more about just passing and takinf advantage of whatever free time you have to break away from the monotony of going to class all day, going home, studying, and do it all over again. 

And as stated speak to a professional, hopefully your program has someone you can talk to or recommend someone.

 

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Therapy, medication and spending time with good friends.

Take if from the guy who got a 3.8 in didactic, lost his engagement and home during the same time. Met someone else, and now a lot happier with all the things above. Gets better despite the copious crap tossed on us. Try to keep a head up.

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Start with your school counseling center. You are paying for their services, so you might as well use them. 

When students feel like this, they often feel like they are the only person in the world with these problems, like there is something "wrong" with them. There are other people in you class that feel this way. There are tons of graduates of your program that felt this way and are now happily practicing. 

The counseling center at your school are experts in dealing with student specific issues. Whatever you tell them, they have heard dozens of times before. See what they can offer you. 

Edited by SHU-CH
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