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I am applying this cycle and I would love some help and edits on my essay, posted below.  I would also love to connect with someone who is going to be going through the same process as I am, please reach out! 

I have been surrounded by those who have made caring for others their purpose, and they have influenced me throughout my life. It is these influences and experiences that have shaped me and built my desire to become a physician assistant. My brother was born with multiple disabilities, because of that, I spent much of my early childhood in hospitals watching the physicians work around him to solve the problems that affected his life. I remember the teams of physicians he had supporting him and how they would continuously show my family compassion and support. Especially his physician assistant, who never failed to answer a question from a curious twelve-year-old, smiling while explaining to me things that would take years for me to understand. They never turned away from my concerned parents, or missed an opportunity to help. That physician assistant inspired me to choose this path. Remaining such a constant in my life that I would refer to him as uncle, and he would attend my high school graduation. I always admired how these medical professionals cared for us and how passionate they were about their work. This inspired me to have the same compassion in everything I do. I have experienced the impact a physician assistant can have on a family. I have watched how they heal not only with their skill, but with their thoughtfulness. This is why I want to become a physician assistant.

 

I started college with plans to join the medical field and took my first big step by pursuing and being accepted into a fellowship position with the Atlantis Project. I flew to Valdivia, Chile, and spent the next four weeks watching, learning, and volunteering with my cohorts in the local hospital. Here, I was as close to the front lines as I had ever been and the hectic environment of a trauma wing not only encouraged me but instilled in me the desire to join their forces and help in whatever way I could to lessen the pain or bring a smile to a patient's face. There is one patient I will never forget, she had gone into complete renal failure due to preexisting health conditions and was declining rapidly. The family was contacted by the medical team and were heading to hospital. I watched the physicians I was shadowing work tirelessly to help her cling to life as long as possible to give her the chance to say goodbye to her family. The efforts of the team allowed her to see all but one of her family members before she passed, and within minutes of losing her battle, her last son came into the room, realizing he was too late. In that moment of extreme grief, I saw the unyielding compassion, understanding, and support from the physician assistants on the team, and I decided I wanted to pursue this career. To do my best no matter what and be a pillar of compassion, empathy, and sincerity for all of my future patients. I had the opportunity to spend a few days of my fellowship shadowing and volunteering in a church hospital. The hospital was in a rural and mountainous region of Chile, where the majority of patients were indigenous peoples, the Mapuche. There I was able to see how the physicians adapted their efforts to comply with the beliefs of the Mapuche and how even through language barriers, the physicians did everything they could to improve the health and situations of the Mapuche. 

 

Through the rest of my adult life I chose to spend my time working with populations that I thought needed it the most. I decided to work with Deafblind students and individuals with multiple disabilities. I became an advocate, a friend, and a voice for those that had none. Working with this population has taught me many things, the most pertinent being that persistence pays off. It is amazing to see one of my students finally connecting a sign, to a word, to an object, and the realization that they now have a way to communicate a want or need. The feeling is incredible. To know that I have helped improve their lives, by being a friend, supporting, and caring for them, instills me with hope, pride, and unbridled joy. Through all of my healthcare experience, I have continued to garner a passion for service, compassion, perseverance, and people. The genuineness I have seen from the physicians and physician assistants I have had the privilege to work with have molded me into who I am today—a person with unabashed fire to serve the community with my whole heart. While there will be challenges, I am determined to learn, lead, and endure.I believe as a physician assistant I can utilize the passion I have to help others and the skills that I have developed. I have seen the incredible impact that physician assistants bring to the community and have lived a life that has been bettered by the care they gave. I want to be a part of helping someone's brother, or mom, or friend live a fulfilled, healthy life. I want to foster an environment of care and support in all that I endeavor to do. I will be able to do it best as a physician assistant.

Edited by LexyB
Rewrote PS
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Hello,

Your PS is very positive in overall feel. It talks about all the good things you have learned and witnessed that make you want to become a PA. What it lacks are your strengths you will bring to a program from all of your experiences. Why a program should choose you. You could really condense what you have in your 2 large PP to give you ample room/character count to add some stronger content.

You have some grammatical errors. You need to fix almost all of your “physician assistant “ usage. It does not have an (‘s). It is not “physicians” either. You used PA, but not consistently; if you are going to abbreviate it, then use it after. Physician assistant is not capitalized.

Good luck.

Edited by Janie55
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LexyB-

Wow, you really changed this and it is so much better! I enjoyed reading it and I get a sense of who you are and what you value. I feel like you answered the prompt well too.

I have just a few minor considerations:

PP1: “watching the physicians work around him,” change “around” to “with”.

PP2: “medical team and were heading to hospital,” change “medical team and headed to the hospital “.

”health and situations of the Mapuche” Try to find a better word instead of “situations,” maybe “wellbeing”?

PP3:”To know that I have helped improve their lives...” This is not quite a run on sentence but is a little awkward. What do you think of: “To know that I have helped improve their lives by being a friend and advocate instills me with hope, pride, and unbridled joy.”? 

Best of Luck!

 

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