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I really appreciate any advice or suggestions that anyone can give me. Please be brutally honest! Right now it's at 5,225 characters, so I know I will need to cut it down a little bit. If anyone has suggestions on where I can do so, that would be great!

 

Thanks ahead of time to anyone who comments!

 

 

 

“Behind each person is a collection of stories and in order to fully understand a person, we must first understand each story that makes up that person.” This was my grandmother’s motto and the most important life lesson that she taught me as a young child. My grandmother’s influence on me as a person has shaped me into a polite, compassionate, and a genuinely likeable person. From my grandmother, I learned to be respectful of and sensitive to different cultures and backgrounds. By incorporating this motto into my life, I am able to work with and understand people on a very personal level. When my grandmother became a widow at the age of 64, I began to spend a great deal of time with her, attempting to lift her spirits. Through this time spent with my grandmother, I learned that respect, kindness, and general sense of light-heartedness can improve a person’s day and even their life. I owe my passion for improving the lives of others and ultimately my aspiration to become a physician assistant (PA) to my grandmother.

Because my grandmother played such a major role in my life, I was terrified by a phone call that I received during April of my junior year of college. My parents informed me that Grandma was in the hospital battling a severe case of pneumonia. Less than a week later, I found myself sitting at my grandmother’s side as she battled the bacteria known as C. difficile. During the days I spent in her room, I watched many doctors run in and out, some never taking a second of their time to even introduce themselves to neither my grandmother nor I. One woman, though, caught my attention when she stopped in the room just to say hi to my grandmother. As she stood at the side of the hospital bed holding my grandmother’s hand, she talked to her for a few minutes about her family. She saw my grandmother as a real person with a story to tell. Her communication with my grandmother on a more personal level allowed her to gain my grandmother’s trust. For the first time since I arrived at the hospital, my grandmother smiled. After introducing myself to the woman, I learned that she was a PA caring for my grandmother. Through her care, this PA demonstrated that she possessed not only the medical knowledge and skills, but also that she was able to relate and be sensitive to the situation. These qualities that she expressed exemplify what a PA is. I will forever take my grandmother’s final days in the hospital as a sign of direction in my life.

My aspiration to become a physician assistant began when I saw firsthand how this PA treated my grandmother. As I sought out physician assistants to shadow, it was obvious to me that their sincerity and true love for their job stood out. I know many physician assistants who have been working their job for over twenty years and they still love and look forward to going to work every day. This outstanding career satisfaction is ubiquitous among the PAs I know, which speaks volumes for the field. One of my main goals in life is to find a career that allows me to help people because I believe that the greatest satisfactions in life come from working to improve the wellbeing of others.

To advance my knowledge of health care, I shadowed multiple PAs in a variety of fields, which gave me the opportunity to observe many types of health care providers. Exposure to such a variety of specialties ignited my interest in primary care. I believe that through working as a primary care PA, I would gain knowledge of many different specialties through referring patients to specialized physicians.

As I considered many personal factors, it was clear that PA profession fit my lifestyle perfectly. I enjoy the critical thinking and understanding of medicine that is involved in being a PA. I aspire to find a balance between my career and personal life because my caring nature traverses both of these realms. Becoming a PA would undeniably allow me to fulfill these goals.

To further advance my skills and medical knowledge, I became a certified emergency medical technician (EMT-B), which provided me with the basic ability to treat those needing medical attention. This taught me how to properly and effectively handle and communicate with patients in a timely manner. Although working as an EMT-B would allow me to work cooperatively with fellow co-workers, it would not allow me to provide extended care to a patient; consequently, I sought out certification as a nurse’s aide (CNA). My previous education, certifications, and shadow experiences will undoubtedly help me care for patients while training and working as a CNA at Harmar Village Care Center.

The range of experiences along with the personal qualities that have been instilled in me since I was a young girl assure me that the PA profession is the perfect place for me. Through spending time with my grandmother, I came to foster traits that characterize a physician assistant. My education at Wheaton College provided me with an excellent foundation in biology, including human anatomy and physiology. Attending PA school will continue to build on this foundation as it prepares me to succeed as a PA and ultimately succeed in life while positively impacting the lives of others.

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I really appreciate any advice or suggestions that anyone can give me. Please be brutally honest! Right now it's at 5,225 characters, so I know I will need to cut it down a little bit. If anyone has suggestions on where I can do so, that would be great!

 

Thanks ahead of time to anyone who comments!

 

 

 

“Behind each person is a collection of stories and in order to fully understand a person, we must first understand each story that makes up that person.” This was my grandmother’s motto and the most important life lesson that she taught me as a young child. My grandmother’s influence on me as a person has shaped me into a polite, compassionate, and a genuinely likeable person. From my grandmother, I learned to be respectful of and sensitive to different cultures and backgrounds. By incorporating this motto into my life, I am able to work with and understand people on a very personal level. When my grandmother became a widow at the age of 64, I began to spend a great deal of time with her, attempting to lift her spirits. Through this time spent with my grandmother, I learned that respect, kindness, and general sense of light-heartedness can improve a person’s day and even their life. I owe my passion for improving the lives of others and ultimately my aspiration to become a physician assistant (PA) to my grandmother.

Because my grandmother played such a major role in my life, I was terrified by a phone call that I received during April of my junior year of college. My parents informed me that Grandma was in the hospital battling a severe case of pneumonia. Less than a week later, I found myself sitting at my grandmother’s side as she battled the bacteria known as C. difficile. During the days I spent in her room, I watched many doctors run in and out, some never taking a second of their time to even introduce themselves to neither my grandmother nor I. One woman, though, caught my attention when she stopped in the room just to say hi to my grandmother. As she stood at the side of the hospital bed holding my grandmother’s hand, she talked to her for a few minutes about her family. She saw my grandmother as a real person with a story to tell. Her communication with my grandmother on a more personal level allowed her to gain my grandmother’s trust. For the first time since I arrived at the hospital, my grandmother smiled. After introducing myself to the woman, I learned that she was a PA caring for my grandmother. Through her care, this PA demonstrated that she possessed not only the medical knowledge and skills, but also that she was able to relate and be sensitive to the situation. These qualities that she expressed exemplify what a PA is. I will forever take my grandmother’s final days in the hospital as a sign of direction in my life.

My aspiration to become a physician assistant began when I saw firsthand how this PA treated my grandmother. As I sought out physician assistants to shadow, it was obvious to me that their sincerity and true love for their job stood out. I know many physician assistants who have been working their job for over twenty years and they still love and look forward to going to work every day. This outstanding career satisfaction is ubiquitous among the PAs I know, which speaks volumes for the field. One of my main goals in life is to find a career that allows me to help people because I believe that the greatest satisfactions in life come from working to improve the wellbeing of others.

To advance my knowledge of health care, I shadowed multiple PAs in a variety of fields, which gave me the opportunity to observe many types of health care providers. Exposure to such a variety of specialties ignited my interest in primary care. I believe that through working as a primary care PA, I would gain knowledge of many different specialties through referring patients to specialized physicians.

As I considered many personal factors, it was clear that PA profession fit my lifestyle perfectly. I enjoy the critical thinking and understanding of medicine that is involved in being a PA. I aspire to find a balance between my career and personal life because my caring nature traverses both of these realms. Becoming a PA would undeniably allow me to fulfill these goals.

To further advance my skills and medical knowledge, I became a certified emergency medical technician (EMT-B), which provided me with the basic ability to treat those needing medical attention. This taught me how to properly and effectively handle and communicate with patients in a timely manner. Although working as an EMT-B would allow me to work cooperatively with fellow co-workers, it would not allow me to provide extended care to a patient; consequently, I sought out certification as a nurse’s aide (CNA). My previous education, certifications, and shadow experiences will undoubtedly help me care for patients while training and working as a CNA at Harmar Village Care Center.

The range of experiences along with the personal qualities that have been instilled in me since I was a young girl assure me that the PA profession is the perfect place for me. Through spending time with my grandmother, I came to foster traits that characterize a physician assistant. My education at Wheaton College provided me with an excellent foundation in biology, including human anatomy and physiology. Attending PA school will continue to build on this foundation as it prepares me to succeed as a PA and ultimately succeed in life while positively impacting the lives of others.

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I really appreciate any advice or suggestions that anyone can give me. Please be brutally honest! Right now it's at 5,225 characters, so I know I will need to cut it down a little bit. If anyone has suggestions on where I can do so, that would be great!

 

Thanks ahead of time to anyone who comments!

 

 

 

“Behind each person is a collection of stories and in order to fully understand a person, we must first understand each story that makes up that person.” This was my grandmother’s motto and the most important life lesson that she taught me as a young child. My grandmother’s influence on me as a person has shaped me into a polite, compassionate, and a genuinely likeable person. From my grandmother, I learned to be respectful of and sensitive to different cultures and backgrounds. By incorporating this motto into my life, I am able to work with and understand people on a very personal level. When my grandmother became a widow at the age of 64, I began to spend a great deal of time with her, attempting to lift her spirits. Through this time spent with my grandmother, I learned that respect, kindness, and general sense of light-heartedness can improve a person’s day and even their life. I owe my passion for improving the lives of others and ultimately my aspiration to become a physician assistant (PA) to my grandmother.

Because my grandmother played such a major role in my life, I was terrified by a phone call that I received during April of my junior year of college. My parents informed me that Grandma was in the hospital battling a severe case of pneumonia. Less than a week later, I found myself sitting at my grandmother’s side as she battled the bacteria known as C. difficile. During the days I spent in her room, I watched many doctors run in and out, some never taking a second of their time to even introduce themselves to neither my grandmother nor I. One woman, though, caught my attention when she stopped in the room just to say hi to my grandmother. As she stood at the side of the hospital bed holding my grandmother’s hand, she talked to her for a few minutes about her family. She saw my grandmother as a real person with a story to tell. Her communication with my grandmother on a more personal level allowed her to gain my grandmother’s trust. For the first time since I arrived at the hospital, my grandmother smiled. After introducing myself to the woman, I learned that she was a PA caring for my grandmother. Through her care, this PA demonstrated that she possessed not only the medical knowledge and skills, but also that she was able to relate and be sensitive to the situation. These qualities that she expressed exemplify what a PA is. I will forever take my grandmother’s final days in the hospital as a sign of direction in my life.

My aspiration to become a physician assistant began when I saw firsthand how this PA treated my grandmother. As I sought out physician assistants to shadow, it was obvious to me that their sincerity and true love for their job stood out. I know many physician assistants who have been working their job for over twenty years and they still love and look forward to going to work every day. This outstanding career satisfaction is ubiquitous among the PAs I know, which speaks volumes for the field. One of my main goals in life is to find a career that allows me to help people because I believe that the greatest satisfactions in life come from working to improve the wellbeing of others.

To advance my knowledge of health care, I shadowed multiple PAs in a variety of fields, which gave me the opportunity to observe many types of health care providers. Exposure to such a variety of specialties ignited my interest in primary care. I believe that through working as a primary care PA, I would gain knowledge of many different specialties through referring patients to specialized physicians.

As I considered many personal factors, it was clear that PA profession fit my lifestyle perfectly. I enjoy the critical thinking and understanding of medicine that is involved in being a PA. I aspire to find a balance between my career and personal life because my caring nature traverses both of these realms. Becoming a PA would undeniably allow me to fulfill these goals.

To further advance my skills and medical knowledge, I became a certified emergency medical technician (EMT-B), which provided me with the basic ability to treat those needing medical attention. This taught me how to properly and effectively handle and communicate with patients in a timely manner. Although working as an EMT-B would allow me to work cooperatively with fellow co-workers, it would not allow me to provide extended care to a patient; consequently, I sought out certification as a nurse’s aide (CNA). My previous education, certifications, and shadow experiences will undoubtedly help me care for patients while training and working as a CNA at Harmar Village Care Center.

The range of experiences along with the personal qualities that have been instilled in me since I was a young girl assure me that the PA profession is the perfect place for me. Through spending time with my grandmother, I came to foster traits that characterize a physician assistant. My education at Wheaton College provided me with an excellent foundation in biology, including human anatomy and physiology. Attending PA school will continue to build on this foundation as it prepares me to succeed as a PA and ultimately succeed in life while positively impacting the lives of others.

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This was a pretty easy read. You made the point of telling us what experiences led you to the PA field, which is great. I felt like once you started talking about shadowing, you kind of said the same thing a few times. Maybe you can shorten it up by taking out some of the fluff about PAs enjoying their jobs for 20 years, observing many providers in multiple specialties, etc. Just tell us you shadowed and keep it short. I also think you could remove the part about "PA fitting you perfectly, finding a balance in personal and work like" etc...You can find that as a physician, a nurse, a CNA, a RT, an MA and the list goes on. You also say, "To advance my knowledge and skills" too much. Just start out the sentence with, "I became an EMT-B...."

 

Overall, I think its a decent statement for somebody who is short on the HCE side of things. You highlight your compassion, likability and willingness to care for others, which to me score high on the scale. I'd prefer to have somebody that can connect to my family member and make them feel taken care of.

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This was a pretty easy read. You made the point of telling us what experiences led you to the PA field, which is great. I felt like once you started talking about shadowing, you kind of said the same thing a few times. Maybe you can shorten it up by taking out some of the fluff about PAs enjoying their jobs for 20 years, observing many providers in multiple specialties, etc. Just tell us you shadowed and keep it short. I also think you could remove the part about "PA fitting you perfectly, finding a balance in personal and work like" etc...You can find that as a physician, a nurse, a CNA, a RT, an MA and the list goes on. You also say, "To advance my knowledge and skills" too much. Just start out the sentence with, "I became an EMT-B...."

 

Overall, I think its a decent statement for somebody who is short on the HCE side of things. You highlight your compassion, likability and willingness to care for others, which to me score high on the scale. I'd prefer to have somebody that can connect to my family member and make them feel taken care of.

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This was a pretty easy read. You made the point of telling us what experiences led you to the PA field, which is great. I felt like once you started talking about shadowing, you kind of said the same thing a few times. Maybe you can shorten it up by taking out some of the fluff about PAs enjoying their jobs for 20 years, observing many providers in multiple specialties, etc. Just tell us you shadowed and keep it short. I also think you could remove the part about "PA fitting you perfectly, finding a balance in personal and work like" etc...You can find that as a physician, a nurse, a CNA, a RT, an MA and the list goes on. You also say, "To advance my knowledge and skills" too much. Just start out the sentence with, "I became an EMT-B...."

 

Overall, I think its a decent statement for somebody who is short on the HCE side of things. You highlight your compassion, likability and willingness to care for others, which to me score high on the scale. I'd prefer to have somebody that can connect to my family member and make them feel taken care of.

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Corpsman, thanks for taking some time to read my draft and give me some helpful advice! I'm a bit concerned that I can't include my HCE into the essay (as I don't start working as a CNA until August). Some of my schools don't require HCE hours and the others and the others that do require it do not require many hours. One of my top schools has an early app deadline of Aug 1st, so I want to get the app submitted by the 1st week of July to give CASPA time to send it out. I really wish I could include some HCE into the essay, but I'm not quite sure how it is possible.

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Corpsman, thanks for taking some time to read my draft and give me some helpful advice! I'm a bit concerned that I can't include my HCE into the essay (as I don't start working as a CNA until August). Some of my schools don't require HCE hours and the others and the others that do require it do not require many hours. One of my top schools has an early app deadline of Aug 1st, so I want to get the app submitted by the 1st week of July to give CASPA time to send it out. I really wish I could include some HCE into the essay, but I'm not quite sure how it is possible.

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Corpsman, thanks for taking some time to read my draft and give me some helpful advice! I'm a bit concerned that I can't include my HCE into the essay (as I don't start working as a CNA until August). Some of my schools don't require HCE hours and the others and the others that do require it do not require many hours. One of my top schools has an early app deadline of Aug 1st, so I want to get the app submitted by the 1st week of July to give CASPA time to send it out. I really wish I could include some HCE into the essay, but I'm not quite sure how it is possible.

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Suggestions for cutting a few words out:

Behind each person is a collection of stories and in order to fully understand a person, we must first understand each story that makes up that person.” This was my grandmother’s motto and the most important life lesson that she taught me as a young child. (My grandmother’s)Her influence on me as a person has shaped me into a polite, compassionate, (and a genuinely likeable) person (. From my grandmother), and I learned to be respectful of and sensitive to different cultures and backgrounds. By incorporating this motto into my life, I am able to work with and understand people on a very personal level. When my grandmother became a widow at the age of 64, I began to spend a great deal of time with her, attempting to lift her spirits. Through this time spent with her (my grandmother), I learned that respect, kindness, and general sense of light-heartedness can improve a person’s day and even their life. I owe her my passion for improving the lives of others and ultimately my aspiration to become a physician assistant (PA) (to my grandmother.)

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Suggestions for cutting a few words out:

Behind each person is a collection of stories and in order to fully understand a person, we must first understand each story that makes up that person.” This was my grandmother’s motto and the most important life lesson that she taught me as a young child. (My grandmother’s)Her influence on me as a person has shaped me into a polite, compassionate, (and a genuinely likeable) person (. From my grandmother), and I learned to be respectful of and sensitive to different cultures and backgrounds. By incorporating this motto into my life, I am able to work with and understand people on a very personal level. When my grandmother became a widow at the age of 64, I began to spend a great deal of time with her, attempting to lift her spirits. Through this time spent with her (my grandmother), I learned that respect, kindness, and general sense of light-heartedness can improve a person’s day and even their life. I owe her my passion for improving the lives of others and ultimately my aspiration to become a physician assistant (PA) (to my grandmother.)

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Suggestions for cutting a few words out:

Behind each person is a collection of stories and in order to fully understand a person, we must first understand each story that makes up that person.” This was my grandmother’s motto and the most important life lesson that she taught me as a young child. (My grandmother’s)Her influence on me as a person has shaped me into a polite, compassionate, (and a genuinely likeable) person (. From my grandmother), and I learned to be respectful of and sensitive to different cultures and backgrounds. By incorporating this motto into my life, I am able to work with and understand people on a very personal level. When my grandmother became a widow at the age of 64, I began to spend a great deal of time with her, attempting to lift her spirits. Through this time spent with her (my grandmother), I learned that respect, kindness, and general sense of light-heartedness can improve a person’s day and even their life. I owe her my passion for improving the lives of others and ultimately my aspiration to become a physician assistant (PA) (to my grandmother.)

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Thanks for the suggestions! I have actually been working on a revision/completely re-writing my essay since I spoke with the Dean of Pre-Health at my university yesterday. He suggested that I put more of my experiences into the essay, so I've basically re-written most of it to include a general theme (based around a quote that is near to my heart) and more of my experiences.

 

If anyone has read my initial draft (above), what do you think about the changes?

 

Thanks and your suggestions are all very much appreciated!

 

Mother Teresa was once quoted saying: “It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving.” Throughout my life, I have worked and volunteered in many different fields in a variety of settings. Having since learned the history of the physician assistant (PA) profession, extensively explored the career, and shadowed various PAs, it is clear to me that this is the career that I want to be a part of for the rest of my life.

 

As a young child, I had my heart set on becoming a veterinarian. I was passionate about science and I loved animals. As a teenager in high school, my interest in veterinary medicine stood strong so I volunteered at a local animal hospital. There I learned the power of compassion and empathy. Most importantly, though, was that I learned to be patient and to work with others. I continue to rely on these traits today as I train and soon work as a certified nursing assistant (CNA). My desire to be a veterinarian continued into my first year of college when I interned at the Animal Rescue League’s Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic. It was here that I learned basic medical skills such as how to suture wounds, conduct comprehensive physical exams, and splint limbs. I quickly learned the importance of precision, a steady hand, and dependability because I was the sole intern responsible for the well-being of these animals. I was required to think quickly when assessing the injured animals because, for some, each second that passed was a matter of life and death. One thing that was lacking, though, was the patient-health care provider interaction that I very much enjoy.

 

I loved every opportunity that I had to work with animals in a medical setting, but my focus on veterinary medicine shifted one day during my junior year of college. I found myself at the hospital sitting at my grandmother’s side as she battled the potentially lethal bacteria known as C. difficile. During the days I spent in her room, I watched many doctors run in and out, some never even taking a second of their time to introduce themselves to neither my grandmother nor I. One woman, though, caught my attention when she stopped in the room just to say hi to my grandmother. As she stood at the side of the hospital bed holding my grandmother’s hand, she talked to her like a person, not a patient. The PA’s ability to communicate with my grandmother on a personal level enabled her to gain my grandmother’s trust. For the first time since I had arrived at the hospital, my grandmother smiled. After introducing myself to the woman, I learned that she was a PA. This woman possessed not only medical knowledge and skills, but also the ability to relate and be sensitive to my grandmother’s illness. These personal qualities exemplify what a PA is. Returning to Mother Teresa’s quote, it was very clear that this PA was not giving care just because it was her job. Rather, she was giving because she truly loved helping others. I now take my grandmother’s passing as a sign that led me down a path I may have never been made aware of.

 

Since that day, I have aspired to be a PA who cares for patients with a loving heart and a smile on her face. As I began shadowing various PAs, commonalities arose among their personalities. They were hard-working and empathetic, but very light-hearted people. In general, PAs are very likeable people. Outstanding career satisfaction is ubiquitous among the PAs I know, which speaks volumes for the field. Exposure to such a variety of specialties during my shadow experiences ignited my interest in primary care. However, I appreciate that PAs do not have to limit themselves to one area of medicine. The mobility among specialties is extremely appealing to me due to the countless opportunities that it presents and the endless amount of learning that is available.

 

Mother Teresa’s quote again describes my actions when I sought out certification as an emergency medical technician (EMT-B). I decided that I would be more useful working as an EMT where I would personally be able to serve the public. While acquiring the medical skills necessary, I became very comfortable with working alongside fellow health care providers. Learning how to communicate calmly and effectively with patients are skills that will undoubtedly help me in my future endeavors as a PA. After receiving my certification and doing multiple ride-alongs in the ambulance, though, I realized that I desired a more constant flow of patients; consequently, I sought out certification as a nurse’s aide (CNA). My previous education, certifications, and shadow experiences will undoubtedly help me care for patients while training and working as a CNA at Harmar Village Care Center.

 

The research I have done on the PA profession, my shadowing experiences, and the conversations I have had with other PAs assure me that this is the perfect career for me. Through my work and volunteer experiences, I have come to foster traits that characterize a physician assistant. My education at Wheaton College provided me with an excellent foundation in biology, including human anatomy and physiology. Attending PA school will continue to build on this foundation as it prepares me to succeed as a PA and ultimately succeed in life while positively impacting the lives of others. As Mother Teresa expresses through her quote, the amount of giving doesn’t matter unless the giving is done with love.

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Thanks for the suggestions! I have actually been working on a revision/completely re-writing my essay since I spoke with the Dean of Pre-Health at my university yesterday. He suggested that I put more of my experiences into the essay, so I've basically re-written most of it to include a general theme (based around a quote that is near to my heart) and more of my experiences.

 

If anyone has read my initial draft (above), what do you think about the changes?

 

Thanks and your suggestions are all very much appreciated!

 

Mother Teresa was once quoted saying: “It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving.” Throughout my life, I have worked and volunteered in many different fields in a variety of settings. Having since learned the history of the physician assistant (PA) profession, extensively explored the career, and shadowed various PAs, it is clear to me that this is the career that I want to be a part of for the rest of my life.

 

As a young child, I had my heart set on becoming a veterinarian. I was passionate about science and I loved animals. As a teenager in high school, my interest in veterinary medicine stood strong so I volunteered at a local animal hospital. There I learned the power of compassion and empathy. Most importantly, though, was that I learned to be patient and to work with others. I continue to rely on these traits today as I train and soon work as a certified nursing assistant (CNA). My desire to be a veterinarian continued into my first year of college when I interned at the Animal Rescue League’s Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic. It was here that I learned basic medical skills such as how to suture wounds, conduct comprehensive physical exams, and splint limbs. I quickly learned the importance of precision, a steady hand, and dependability because I was the sole intern responsible for the well-being of these animals. I was required to think quickly when assessing the injured animals because, for some, each second that passed was a matter of life and death. One thing that was lacking, though, was the patient-health care provider interaction that I very much enjoy.

 

I loved every opportunity that I had to work with animals in a medical setting, but my focus on veterinary medicine shifted one day during my junior year of college. I found myself at the hospital sitting at my grandmother’s side as she battled the potentially lethal bacteria known as C. difficile. During the days I spent in her room, I watched many doctors run in and out, some never even taking a second of their time to introduce themselves to neither my grandmother nor I. One woman, though, caught my attention when she stopped in the room just to say hi to my grandmother. As she stood at the side of the hospital bed holding my grandmother’s hand, she talked to her like a person, not a patient. The PA’s ability to communicate with my grandmother on a personal level enabled her to gain my grandmother’s trust. For the first time since I had arrived at the hospital, my grandmother smiled. After introducing myself to the woman, I learned that she was a PA. This woman possessed not only medical knowledge and skills, but also the ability to relate and be sensitive to my grandmother’s illness. These personal qualities exemplify what a PA is. Returning to Mother Teresa’s quote, it was very clear that this PA was not giving care just because it was her job. Rather, she was giving because she truly loved helping others. I now take my grandmother’s passing as a sign that led me down a path I may have never been made aware of.

 

Since that day, I have aspired to be a PA who cares for patients with a loving heart and a smile on her face. As I began shadowing various PAs, commonalities arose among their personalities. They were hard-working and empathetic, but very light-hearted people. In general, PAs are very likeable people. Outstanding career satisfaction is ubiquitous among the PAs I know, which speaks volumes for the field. Exposure to such a variety of specialties during my shadow experiences ignited my interest in primary care. However, I appreciate that PAs do not have to limit themselves to one area of medicine. The mobility among specialties is extremely appealing to me due to the countless opportunities that it presents and the endless amount of learning that is available.

 

Mother Teresa’s quote again describes my actions when I sought out certification as an emergency medical technician (EMT-B). I decided that I would be more useful working as an EMT where I would personally be able to serve the public. While acquiring the medical skills necessary, I became very comfortable with working alongside fellow health care providers. Learning how to communicate calmly and effectively with patients are skills that will undoubtedly help me in my future endeavors as a PA. After receiving my certification and doing multiple ride-alongs in the ambulance, though, I realized that I desired a more constant flow of patients; consequently, I sought out certification as a nurse’s aide (CNA). My previous education, certifications, and shadow experiences will undoubtedly help me care for patients while training and working as a CNA at Harmar Village Care Center.

 

The research I have done on the PA profession, my shadowing experiences, and the conversations I have had with other PAs assure me that this is the perfect career for me. Through my work and volunteer experiences, I have come to foster traits that characterize a physician assistant. My education at Wheaton College provided me with an excellent foundation in biology, including human anatomy and physiology. Attending PA school will continue to build on this foundation as it prepares me to succeed as a PA and ultimately succeed in life while positively impacting the lives of others. As Mother Teresa expresses through her quote, the amount of giving doesn’t matter unless the giving is done with love.

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Thanks for the suggestions! I have actually been working on a revision/completely re-writing my essay since I spoke with the Dean of Pre-Health at my university yesterday. He suggested that I put more of my experiences into the essay, so I've basically re-written most of it to include a general theme (based around a quote that is near to my heart) and more of my experiences.

 

If anyone has read my initial draft (above), what do you think about the changes?

 

Thanks and your suggestions are all very much appreciated!

 

Mother Teresa was once quoted saying: “It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving.” Throughout my life, I have worked and volunteered in many different fields in a variety of settings. Having since learned the history of the physician assistant (PA) profession, extensively explored the career, and shadowed various PAs, it is clear to me that this is the career that I want to be a part of for the rest of my life.

 

As a young child, I had my heart set on becoming a veterinarian. I was passionate about science and I loved animals. As a teenager in high school, my interest in veterinary medicine stood strong so I volunteered at a local animal hospital. There I learned the power of compassion and empathy. Most importantly, though, was that I learned to be patient and to work with others. I continue to rely on these traits today as I train and soon work as a certified nursing assistant (CNA). My desire to be a veterinarian continued into my first year of college when I interned at the Animal Rescue League’s Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic. It was here that I learned basic medical skills such as how to suture wounds, conduct comprehensive physical exams, and splint limbs. I quickly learned the importance of precision, a steady hand, and dependability because I was the sole intern responsible for the well-being of these animals. I was required to think quickly when assessing the injured animals because, for some, each second that passed was a matter of life and death. One thing that was lacking, though, was the patient-health care provider interaction that I very much enjoy.

 

I loved every opportunity that I had to work with animals in a medical setting, but my focus on veterinary medicine shifted one day during my junior year of college. I found myself at the hospital sitting at my grandmother’s side as she battled the potentially lethal bacteria known as C. difficile. During the days I spent in her room, I watched many doctors run in and out, some never even taking a second of their time to introduce themselves to neither my grandmother nor I. One woman, though, caught my attention when she stopped in the room just to say hi to my grandmother. As she stood at the side of the hospital bed holding my grandmother’s hand, she talked to her like a person, not a patient. The PA’s ability to communicate with my grandmother on a personal level enabled her to gain my grandmother’s trust. For the first time since I had arrived at the hospital, my grandmother smiled. After introducing myself to the woman, I learned that she was a PA. This woman possessed not only medical knowledge and skills, but also the ability to relate and be sensitive to my grandmother’s illness. These personal qualities exemplify what a PA is. Returning to Mother Teresa’s quote, it was very clear that this PA was not giving care just because it was her job. Rather, she was giving because she truly loved helping others. I now take my grandmother’s passing as a sign that led me down a path I may have never been made aware of.

 

Since that day, I have aspired to be a PA who cares for patients with a loving heart and a smile on her face. As I began shadowing various PAs, commonalities arose among their personalities. They were hard-working and empathetic, but very light-hearted people. In general, PAs are very likeable people. Outstanding career satisfaction is ubiquitous among the PAs I know, which speaks volumes for the field. Exposure to such a variety of specialties during my shadow experiences ignited my interest in primary care. However, I appreciate that PAs do not have to limit themselves to one area of medicine. The mobility among specialties is extremely appealing to me due to the countless opportunities that it presents and the endless amount of learning that is available.

 

Mother Teresa’s quote again describes my actions when I sought out certification as an emergency medical technician (EMT-B). I decided that I would be more useful working as an EMT where I would personally be able to serve the public. While acquiring the medical skills necessary, I became very comfortable with working alongside fellow health care providers. Learning how to communicate calmly and effectively with patients are skills that will undoubtedly help me in my future endeavors as a PA. After receiving my certification and doing multiple ride-alongs in the ambulance, though, I realized that I desired a more constant flow of patients; consequently, I sought out certification as a nurse’s aide (CNA). My previous education, certifications, and shadow experiences will undoubtedly help me care for patients while training and working as a CNA at Harmar Village Care Center.

 

The research I have done on the PA profession, my shadowing experiences, and the conversations I have had with other PAs assure me that this is the perfect career for me. Through my work and volunteer experiences, I have come to foster traits that characterize a physician assistant. My education at Wheaton College provided me with an excellent foundation in biology, including human anatomy and physiology. Attending PA school will continue to build on this foundation as it prepares me to succeed as a PA and ultimately succeed in life while positively impacting the lives of others. As Mother Teresa expresses through her quote, the amount of giving doesn’t matter unless the giving is done with love.

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You write an awful lot about things other than yourself. Your second draft was a nice improvement over your first one, but still sells you short. Mother Theresa, your grandmother, the nice PA and grumpy docs I am sure are all super important people but they really don't tell me about YOU. This is a personal statement, not a report on your summer vacation. Keep the vet stuff, I thought that was cool, cut down on Grandma's story. Can you find some other experiences such as volunteering, or maybe a bit about your shadowing experience that focuses on how you were affected and NOT on how wonderful the PAs were and all that jazz. Tell me what moved you, and how.

 

You write a creative, colorful narration...but the focus is still not quite dialed in on you yet.

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You write an awful lot about things other than yourself. Your second draft was a nice improvement over your first one, but still sells you short. Mother Theresa, your grandmother, the nice PA and grumpy docs I am sure are all super important people but they really don't tell me about YOU. This is a personal statement, not a report on your summer vacation. Keep the vet stuff, I thought that was cool, cut down on Grandma's story. Can you find some other experiences such as volunteering, or maybe a bit about your shadowing experience that focuses on how you were affected and NOT on how wonderful the PAs were and all that jazz. Tell me what moved you, and how.

 

You write a creative, colorful narration...but the focus is still not quite dialed in on you yet.

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You write an awful lot about things other than yourself. Your second draft was a nice improvement over your first one, but still sells you short. Mother Theresa, your grandmother, the nice PA and grumpy docs I am sure are all super important people but they really don't tell me about YOU. This is a personal statement, not a report on your summer vacation. Keep the vet stuff, I thought that was cool, cut down on Grandma's story. Can you find some other experiences such as volunteering, or maybe a bit about your shadowing experience that focuses on how you were affected and NOT on how wonderful the PAs were and all that jazz. Tell me what moved you, and how.

 

You write a creative, colorful narration...but the focus is still not quite dialed in on you yet.

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