2full2eat Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 Yea, just wondering, cuz I have it in my paper, but am wary of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Steve Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 in what context? your question feels a little vague.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2full2eat Posted May 11, 2012 Author Share Posted May 11, 2012 Ill send you my final paragraph so you can see. I just mean that I feel that PA school is somewhat elementary sounding. But id like to know what your opinion is. After years of introspection and diligent work, I feel prepared for PA school. I trained myself for this, just as a bodybuilder trains themselves for the Mr. Olympia competition. With the use of hard work, dedication, and the confidence to succeed, I am certain I have what it takes to enter PA school, and come out, a physician assistant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dkwee Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 Ill send you my final paragraph so you can see. I just mean that I feel that PA school is somewhat elementary sounding. But id like to know what your opinion is. After years of introspection and diligent work, I feel prepared for PA school. I trained myself for this, just as a bodybuilder trains themselves for the Mr. Olympia competition. With the use of hard work, dedication, and the confidence to succeed, I am certain I have what it takes to enter PA school, and come out, a physician assistant. Do you plan on leaving it like that or inserting a school's name into "PA school"? I still don't get your question. If it's the former, then it should be fine. If it's the latter, you're better off keeping it general if you're applying to more than one school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seijou Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 After years of introspection and diligent work, I feel prepared for PA school. I trained myself for this, just as a bodybuilder trains themselves for the Mr. Olympia competition. With the use of hard work, dedication, and the confidence to succeed, I am certain I have what it takes to enter PA school, and come out, a physician assistant. Kind of off-topic, but how can you be certain you have what it takes? Have you been to PA school or have you been a PA before? Showing that you're ready > talking about you being ready. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2full2eat Posted May 11, 2012 Author Share Posted May 11, 2012 Seijou, neither.........just trying to show confidence and determination to do whatever it takes to become a PA. And yes dkwee its the former, and thanks for your opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liljb Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 just as a bodybuilder trains themselves for the Mr. Olympia competition May I suggest a small edit: "just as a bodybuilder trains himself for the Mr. Olympia competition" (the plural "themselves" would not agree with the singular subject). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eewee Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 Writing "PA school" is as colloquial as writing "med school" in my book. I would avoid it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Steve Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 Personally I would drop the word "school". Set your sights on being a PA. The school is just one part of the process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2full2eat Posted May 11, 2012 Author Share Posted May 11, 2012 Thanks I needed some people to say something either one way or another, I felt uncomfortable about it as well, glad I'm not alone. Liljb, I appreciate the input, but I use themselves because bodybuilders can be female or male, I may not follow female competitive bodybuilding but it would be sexist to say only himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corpsman2PA Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 After years of introspection and diligent work, I feel prepared for PA school. I trained myself for this, just as a bodybuilder trains themselves for the Mr. Olympia competition. With the use of hard work, dedication, and the confidence to succeed, I am certain I have what it takes to enter PA school, and come out, a physician assistant. Not gonna lie...this is kind of a weak knockout punch. And the last sentence borders a run-on. You could almost break it into 2 separate sentences. Just my morning thoughts that don't mean much. And I would agree, take out the school part. If its through CASPA, its "why do you want to be a Physician Assistant?" Not, "Why do you want to be in PA school?" If its 1 particular school like you've alluded to, it depends on what their prompt is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2full2eat Posted May 11, 2012 Author Share Posted May 11, 2012 So not a good conclusion? What could make it better than? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mainiac Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 IMO I suggest you tell them why you'll b a great PA. example of how you've over come a hurdle/succeeded/etc. Think about this: the people/PA's/program director that will read your personal statement. They'r read'n alot of them! Make it personal! Make it so they;ll wanna meet you. Convince 'm u'll make it in school & become a PA. thats my .02 good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DedicatedPaPa Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 Besides the PA part, your essay is really poorly written. I hope that it is a first draft. Honestly, there are a lot of grammatical mistakes on your part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2full2eat Posted May 12, 2012 Author Share Posted May 12, 2012 Oh yea......What essay? I never posted it...??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corpsman2PA Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 So not a good conclusion? What could make it better than? I'd have to see the whole thing to really give good feedback. Don't take this feedback as personal, but rather as observation of somebody who only has about 1% of the actual finished product. But for some reason it just seems a little too manufactured... "I am certain I have what it takes to enter PA school, and come out, a physician assistant." Well what else would you come out as? I don't know, but using bodybuilding (which is horrible for your body in more ways than one, and quite foolish) as an analogy to being prepared for PA school seems like you're scraping for content, and in the process giving me bad vibes. But who knows, maybe the rest of your statement is killer and these last 2 sentences would "wow" us in context. In regards to changing "themselves" to "himself" like was recommended, you said that it would be sexist to only say "himself." If that's the case, you can't say "Mr. Olympia" because you're being sexist towards MS. Olympia...so, in context, "Himself" fits the gender of Mr. Olympia. I'd recommend you post the finished product under the PS review thread and get some feedback. Best of luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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