Personal Statement Input?- NEED ADVICE

[Hmhguy95]

*WILL THIS PERSONAL STATEMENT POTENTIALLY KEEP ME FROM INTERVIEWS? I KNOW I DID NOT REALLY DIVE INTO WHY I WANT TO BE A PA UNTIL THE CONCLUSION, BUT I FELT LIKE I DEMONSTRATED MY DETERMINATION TO BE A PA, MY UNDERSTANDING OF THE ROLE OF A PA, AND THE STEPS I HAVE TAKEN TO IMPROVE MY APPLICATION SINCE I AM A REAPPLICANT. 

Most college students have that moment in life where they come to a crossroads, not knowing what career path they should choose; I was no exception.  After much research and guidance by friends and family, I was introduced to the PA profession. Just a few months after college graduation, I decided to apply. Although I did get a few interviews, I didn’t get accepted my first try. However, this did not deter me; it only fueled my desire to gain even more experience in the medical field.  I decided to leave my part time job as an ER scribe and train to become a certified Autotransfusionist (AT). Once completed, I accepted a full-time position under a team of experienced perfusionists. This job in the OR has given me unlimited access to observe multiple surgical PAs and have an active part in many procedures such as liver transplants, open heart surgery, and aortic aneurysms. I can confidently say that my position as an AT has given me a wealth of knowledge and experience that I did not have when I applied last year. My understanding of the role of a PA and how they can be utilized in multiple specialties, can be directly attributed to my experience working in the operating room and my time spent shadowing PAs during surgery and in clinic. 

            The role of a PA is dynamic; they must be able to adapt to the way their supervising physician practices medicine and take on new duties and responsibilities when necessary. By working as a team, the PA and physician can provide much better health care and give patients the one on one interaction that is often necessary or desired. In my shadowing experience, the PA obtains the history and physical from the patient and relays that information to the surgeon,  who then goes to the room to discuss his recommendations. Open heart surgery is a complex procedure, so understandably patients can get rather anxious and ask many questions. The surgeon will explain the details of the procedure, the risks that it entails, then usually leaves the room. However, the PA is often still talking to the patient and addressing their many issues and concerns. I have shadowed PAs during clinic for pre op consultations, during open heart surgery, in the ICU, and post op visits for said surgeries; this level of shadowing and exposure mirrors some of the student PA’s surgery rotations. I am fortunate that the PAs and physicians I have shadowed have allowed me to ask questions, take the time to explain things, and even allowed me to take part in minor procedures such as suture removal. The more I shadowed, the more I was able to see myself working as a PA in surgery and interacting with our patients. Being able to truly visualize myself in this role after extensive exposure has given me the reassurance I need to continue to pursue a fulfilling career as a physician assistant. 

My entry into the medical field started with my first job as an ER scribe, accumulating close to 1500 hours in just over a year. It was the ideal job to get my foot in the door and obtain experience to build on. After working that job for over a year, an amazing opportunity came along to work as an AT in the operating room. An AT operates the cell saver machine; which collects, processes, and re-administers the patient’s own blood that is shed during surgery. This process is more beneficial to the patient and is a much safer and cost-effective alternative than donor blood. As much as I loved my job as a scribe, I knew I could not turn down such an opportunity. I have obtained so much experience over the past 7 months and have overcome many obstacles such as working in a high stress environment like the OR and adapting to new work situations, such as getting called in for a liver transplant in the middle of the night. Recently, I have learned to independently set up the bypass pump for the perfusionists prior to surgery and run intraoperative Istat labs. I truly feel this job has mentally, physically, and emotionally prepared me for PA school. When I face tough obstacles and have to adapt to new situations, I can draw on my past experiences to give me the strength I need to succeed. 

     Although I have and will continue to face many hardships in my journey to become a PA, I believe it’s been necessary for me to grow personally and reach the conclusion that this career was absolutely meant for me.  I work well in a team and strive to lift my coworkers up and can say with conviction that working in a collaborative and supportive role fits me like a glove. This career will always mean more to me than just a source of income or having a title behind my name. Knowing I can make a real impact in my patient’s lives and be a part of a close-knit healthcare team is all of the professional and personal fulfillment I could ever need. 

Edited July 19, 2019 by Hmhguy95
typo

[Janie55]

Hello. Your PS flows fairly well, but it seems more like a research paper on what a PA is combined with your personal resume. I’m not sure how well it answered the prompt. 

[Hmhguy95]

@Janie55, I am disappointed that is how it comes across. The point I was attempting to make was that my shadowing and work experience has given me insight into the role of a PA. 

[Janie55]

You could state that point simply, in a few sentences (2-3), rather than a paragraph. That will give you a lot of space to specify why the PA field is for you.

[Hmhguy95]

@Janie55, I have actually received an interview invite to one of my top schools. I was the first interview invite on this forum as well. I know each school looks at you differently but that must mean my personal statement was decent enough for them to send me an invite. I was told my personal statement would send red flags by another individual on this forum. Hopefully I’ll get atleast a few more invites this cycle. Just need one school to accept you and you are in. This program is in state as well and I’m the first to interview so that should help me. 

[paPassion7]

Your personal statement sounds more like a resume rather than a opportunity for you to show the adcoms who YOU are. I understand that you want to explain how those positions gave you insight into the position/made you want to become a PA, but that's what your experience section description is for. I would focus more on WHY those positions got you to where you are through personal stories/examples. I agree with the above comments. It sounds like you've gotten an interview, but if you need to reapply, I would recommend using @hmtpnw's editing service. She did wonders for my PS.

[Hmhguy95]

@paPassion7, thank you for the constructive criticism. I realize I should’ve been more direct about why these experiences led me to pursue pa. I knew what I was trying to say in my mind but I can definitely see how that wouldn’t come across. I’m just glad I have one interview already and was the first to be offered one by the program. It’s one of my top choice programs too. 

[qwerty0984]

I agree with others. You really should rewrite most of the statement honestly, the people reading know what a PA is. They know your experiences. Give more detail that they don't already know, bring up personal experiences and how they changed you, how they made you want to be a PA. Talk about a specific moment with a patient, about a specific moment that reinforced your goal.

I really don't think you should focus on discussing how your application has changed, they'll be able to see those experiences already. I also didn't really like the comparison between the PA and the surgeon, saying how the surgeon voices recommendations then leaves, sounds a little negative to me, which I'd avoid. 

I wouldn't say your statement is a "red flag" necessarily, but rather not anything special and doesn't leave me wanting to talk to you more, doesn't tell me much about why you want to be a PA. To be completely honest, I got bored while reading it. Just trying to provide honest feedback, I don't mean to be harsh, but I'd say rewrite it!

[Hmhguy95]

@qwerty0984, thank you for your feedback. I think I left a lot for interpretation which is definitely not good. The part about the surgeon leaving the room was not intended to come across that way. I was trying to showcase what I’ve actually observed based on my shadowing experience. The point I was trying to make is that surgeons have a lot of tasks to complete in conjunction with seeing patients such as paperwork and other administrative duties.  The pa can help fill the need of one on one interaction desired by patients. A lot of the patient population at the clinic I observed at was older

[qwerty0984]

10 hours ago, Hmhguy95 said:

@qwerty0984, thank you for your feedback. I think I left a lot for interpretation which is definitely not good. The part about the surgeon leaving the room was not intended to come across that way. I was trying to showcase what I’ve actually observed based on my shadowing experience. The point I was trying to make is that surgeons have a lot of tasks to complete in conjunction with seeing patients such as paperwork and other administrative duties.  The pa can help fill the need of one on one interaction desired by patients. A lot of the patient population at the clinic I observed at was older

That makes sense, I'd still try and make your statement more personal to you and a specific situation that affected you and your desire to be a PA rather than talking about the role of a PA and being more general. I'd definitely just rewrite it, but of course it's up to you.

[Jakcami22]

@qwerty0984 @Janie55 I was wondering, could I pm you my personal statement to read? I don't need an edit or anything, just some insight on how it comes across.