Balancing family plus 80-hours/week at work?

[indiepatella]

How did you guys balance significant others and/or family during an intense residency? I'm planning on applying to Arrowhead's Ob/Gyn residency when I graduate at the end of this year, but my main concern is the workload of 80 hours/week average with call. My boyfriend and I have been long-distance for just over two years now while I've been in school (dating 3.5 years total) and we'll only have been back living together for four months by the time I graduate (I arranged by non-core rotations to be back home). I'm worried about the idea of uprooting both our lives - especially him leaving a job he loves in a pretty specialized field and moving across the country to a city where we don't know anyone - when I will have to work constantly and barely see him... especially when we just got back to living in the same city after years. He's a really social guy who has very deeply established roots where we're from and I hate the idea of him sitting alone every other weekend because I have to work. I'm on my surgery rotation now working about 60 hours per week (5:30am-4:30pm with one 24-hour shift per week) and it's honestly not so bad. I don't think I'd personally have a hard time working those hours but I worry about him and about any divisions it may cause between us.

What does the day-to-day look like on an 80-hours/week schedule? 

[dholmb]

In addition to the hours, I'd assume that the residency would be much more stressful in and of itself than the surgery rotation you are on now. That goes for any new grad when, although they are supervised, they start making medical decisions instead of watching or helping as a student. 

For most people, 80 hours of stressful work per week = work, sleep, eat, and try to relax whenever possible, especially if you're studying too. If you love what you are doing, then it's easier to get a second wind and have energy at the end of the day to do stuff.

Each relationship is different. I have some friends who are married and are totally fine with that kind of situation. But of course there are plenty of people who would not. The residency would be temporary. Talk with him about it. 

 

Edited July 22, 2019 by dholmb