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Am I meant to be a PA?


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In need of some guidance. I have been a PA 6 years and have had 4 jobs since then. I was never the type to know exactly which field/specialty I wanted be in, I felt like primary care was probably the right place for me which is where I am now but I am struggling, my confidence is lacking and patients can see that. I never really believed I was smart enough to be a PA. I got through school and since then I am gotten by. I had essentially no training in any of my jobs and because of that I never really hit the point where I felt totally comfortable. I am in a position where I may need to leave my job, which I thought was my dream job but turns out not to be so, and I am dreading the job search/interview process again. I really cant see myself doing anything else but I feel like I just haven't found the right fit yet, or its me.I just really want to settle in a practice and be there for a long time and It hasn't happened and each time I have to switch jobs I get more nervous about it not working out and screw it up in the process.

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Residency.  There are one or two primary care residencies around (VA and another one in Virginia, I believe).   I don’t think you would be happy in an Emergency Medicine residency nor does it sound like you have the personality for it, but you might try something in an Internal Medicine primary care or IM subspecialty where you can narrow down your field a bit and have longer appointments.   College or University health is another possibility.  It just sounds like you need more training at a slower pace then you have received previously.

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This may help you in your thoughts ... along my way, I forgot what it means to be a solid figure in and amidst tumult. I sense a bit of that in your writing, your commenting on how you think your patients see you. Stop projecting. Stop caring about that. Stay strong and remember your place as a figure of solidarity, else wise the hyaenas just might get the upper hand and contribute to destroying you. You got through PA school, don't ever forget what that means. 

You might want to stop being and thinking so 'nice'. 

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