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Am I a failure as a PA / In the wrong line of work?


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Again, Thanks all for the responses. Read all of them, I appreciate the encouragement and validation. 

Residency is pretty much out of the question... Too few and far between (I'm geographically fixed), and I've been rejected in the past for EM... They very admittedly wanted fresh meat, super young and bounding with energy, and right out of school..and I'm none of the above. In any case, not interested anymore in the residency specialties...EM, surgery, etc.

It's nice to hear volume of these places are demanding are ridiculous... It's crazy because in the New York City area, 50-60 patients a 12-hour shift is becoming standard. Standard.

Interventional sounds interesting but honestly I'm not so comfortable with all the radiation exposure.

In the meantime trying to find something in a concierge primary care or perhaps something unusual, like working in a rehab facility or such... Honesty really lost and directionless, but looking.

But certainly keep the comments coming, I am reading all of them even if I can't respond to each individually. 

Thank you all.

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On 7/24/2019 at 8:05 AM, PAekgdude said:

Go work for one of the city hospitals. They are always short on providers and nurses. They are always hiring in every specialty,  experienced or not

My experience in an inner-city hospital was absolutely horrendous. Toxic people, toxic managers, toxic work environment.  I believe that is the rule, not the exception, in NYC.  If you mean a city owned hospital, in my experience, they are bastions of terrible providers and massive incompetence, and more toxicity.

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I think I'm going to take a different tack on this one. 

Look, I'm far from a "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" kind of guy, hell I don't even know what a bootstrap is, but there is a certain level of coping and interpersonal skills that need to be developed here.  There are crappy people in every field whether you are slinging rebar (done it), pushing a button in a lumber mill (been there), fixing power lines or fixing people.  Mitigating people's stupidity.  Prolonging death.  Whatever you want to call it. 

You seem to have a reason to not seek out a variety of positions and seem to have a tendency to generalize and stereotype entire hospital models (such as the inner-city or city-owned facilities mentioned above).  You are going to run into physicians, PAs and NPs with "cold eyes" whether you're in outpatient pulmonary, family practice, pediatric gastroenterology or WHEREVER you go.  I think you need a bit of a frame shift and take the initiative to work on your communication skills, self esteem and some confidence building exercises.  Completely agree with the suggestion for counseling as above. 

Addendum: Just re-read your last post regarding a lack of interest in any type of residency based training...Sounds like you've thrown in the towel Sam.  And that's fine, medicine isn't necessarily for everyone, I'm not sure what HCE you had prior to school but I'd consider looking into a different field.  Your ability to respond to every suggestion with an excuse or a reason for why it's a bad one is borderline trolling. 

Good luck.

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Have you considered an inpatient position in a specialty field?  I work inpatient Neurology, and love it.  There is no set schedule to see patients, so if a patient or family needs more time, or if I want to look something up, I can do so.  I round independently, take care of whatever I can, and if I'm not comfortable with a situation, I can always run things by my attending or a colleague.  

It sounds like you're in a difficult place right now, and I hope things get better for you.  

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On 7/28/2019 at 3:04 PM, PASamsOTHERacct said:

My experience in an inner-city hospital was absolutely horrendous. Toxic people, toxic managers, toxic work environment.  I believe that is the rule, not the exception, in NYC.  If you mean a city owned hospital, in my experience, they are bastions of terrible providers and massive incompetence, and more toxicity.

And then there is this:

https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2019-08-01/100000-year-now-bare-minimum-live-alone-new-york

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