PS help much appreciated

[mayamarie]

I am not sure why it is conventional to enroll young children in a local soccer league. Perhaps it is the cute oversized jerseys or the adorable way they run around like misdirected ants. Never-the-less, I was one of those oversized jersey kids. Fortunately, I fell in love with the sport and all it had to offer. I played every year and eventually joined a club league as well as my high school team. During a friendly preseason game my senior year, I suffered an upsetting ankle injury that, unknowingly at the time, would project my life into a different direction. After numerous doctor visits and countless physical therapy appointments, I returned to the field knowing that I would never be the same.

 

It was this event that lead me to an introduction to Brandon, a physician assistant who worked in my college town. While in my undergraduate program I was able to balance three jobs, volunteer with various community activities, offer services in South Africa and maintain a decent GPA. I thought I had it all figured out but was admittedly undecided when the question of what I was going to do post graduation was proposed. After speaking to a counselor, I was set up in a program that allowed me to shadow a physician in the specialty of my choosing. Remembering the wonderful encounters I had while recovering from my ankle injury, I chose to shadow an orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Funk.  I presumed with a name like Funk, the experience would be entertaining at the least. I did not know at the time that he also worked with a physician assistant, Brandon, who was an alumnus of my university. The two were a wonderful team. They were gracious enough to answer any question while in clinic and later allowed me to sit in on surgeries. Brandon in particular was kind to his patients, taking time to explain even the smallest of his decisions. What amazed me the most was Brandon’s knowledge on each subject at hand and how he educated his patients on their care.

 

The fascination only continued as I was hired on as a scribe in my home town emergency department. Unaware that this was the second busiest emergency department in Los Angeles county and the third busiest in the state of California, I reluctantly accepted the position. To say that I was scared when I was first hired would be the understatement of a lifetime. All I knew of the emergency room was what was portrayed on television as my mother watched the dramatic long running series. I was petrified of things that now seem commonplace and currently look forward to the new experiences I seem to have daily. During my time in the emergency department, I have had the privilege of working with kind and selfless providers. The PAs in particular have shown a kindness to their patients and an excitement for their profession unlike any other career I have known. They have been well-informed, team-oriented, humble and skilled. Due to the lack of medical services in the area, a large of volume of patients pass through the emergency room with an array of acute problems to end stage diseases. Even with the high volume of patients checking in daily, the PAs continue to fully treat patients and inform them of their condition, aspiring me to also work in an underserved area. I appreciate the way each physician assistant takes his or her place in the team of physicians, nurses, and other medical professionals and they way they are able to communicate thoroughly and effectively. What continues to impress me the most over the years is the compassion that each physician assistant demonstrates. Weather dealing with a particularly difficult patient or juggling a multitude of various tasks, PAs continue to hold a level of professionalism and understanding.

 

Those who work in the medical field are given a unique opportunity to love and serve those who are unable to help themselves. Physician assistants in particular have displayed an unmatched benevolence. I have watched a number of PAs go the extra mile to encourage and assist those around them, weather staying late to help a coworker or check prices of prescriptions in order to aid patients who are in a financial bind. I believe that the events in my life have prepared me well for the physician assistant profession. Growing up playing sports has taught me and allowed me to demonstrate team work; Volunteering with various community service projects has given me an opportunity to express compassion; and juggling multiple jobs while in school has taught me time management and organization. With didactic and clinic skills, I hope to embody each of these attributes as I treat each patient I encounter wholly and proficiently. 

[Janie55]

Your PS is well written and reads very easy, but it doesn’t highlight you in anyway. I don’t know anything about your strengths/why you would be a great PA/what your experiences have taught you that make you stand out.

Your last PP talks a bit about your strengths, but they aren’t supported in the body of the paper.

You are a good writer, just highlight yourself better.