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Personal Statement Critique for this Upcoming Cyle!

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You dont really state why you would be a good PA. You go a little into why the PA profession interested you, but your essay is your chance to show off what you have learned from past experiences that will make you a great PA. Honestly, I would delete the whole third paragraph. It offers nothing as to why you would be a great PA or why you wanted to be a PA (admisssion committees usually know that everyone usually starts out loving the science classes, then discovers the PA profession, etc. ) In the PCT paragraph, i would dive much more into how you have multi-tasked or how you have provided great patient care. As for the volunteer paragraph, delete everything you say about the nicas. Focus on how you saw the smiles and how the patients thanked you. Also delete the sentence about them "not having the luxury of making an appointment" we all know that. 

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So far, it is reading pretty average. Your goal in writing your personal statement is to show off why you would be a good fit/PA applicant and a future PA. I got that you understood what a PA does, but I think it needs more specificity of why PA. And also, why you. In your paragraph about your shadowing experiences, I think it'd be beneficial if you focused on one experience with one of the PAs and be more personal about it vs generalizing what you saw and rehashing what a PA's duties are. Same thing with your PCT job, give an example and be personal about it. As stated above, I would take out the third paragraph... Maybe even the global brigades paragraph. In a way, I felt like the second half of your narrative could just be written in your resume/CV. Work on your transitions between topics/stories so you can have a better flow throughout your essay. It can be easier to find flow if you choose 1-2 themes and work your experiences/stories/whatever else around them.

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