Jump to content

Critique Personal Statement


Recommended Posts

Hi all,

I am applying this upcoming (2019) cycle and would value feedback on my personal statement. I am more than happy to look at your statement as well.

About me: Degrees: BS Bio- 2015, MS Applied Anatomy-2018

cumUGPA:2.7   sciUGPA: 3.16   gradGPA:4.0   sciGPA: 3.4

PCE: 1600 hrs- medical assistant in ENT, family med

HCE: 800hrs- medical scribe in family med

Personal Statement: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lZ6bWEiJHpOWaSxxJIdXa3GlhJZWvNVTxFZtJCp8k8Q/edit?usp=sharing

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 2/17/2019 at 12:16 PM, alh157 said:

Hi all,

I am applying this upcoming (2019) cycle and would value feedback of my personal statement. I am more than happy to look at your statement as well.

About me: Degrees: BS Bio- 2015, MS Applied Anatomy-2018

cumUGPA:2.7   sciUGPA: 3.16   gradGPA:4.0   sciGPA: 3.4

PCE: 1600 hrs- medical assistant in ENT, family med

HCE: 800hrs- medical scribe in family med

Personal Statement: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lZ6bWEiJHpOWaSxxJIdXa3GlhJZWvNVTxFZtJCp8k8Q/edit?usp=sharing

You need to share a link that allows for editing. This one has restricted access and needs permission to view. 

One thing I will also point out, CASPA doesn't hash out your GPAs into undergraduate and graduate, it all gets factored into one cumulative GPA. I would calculate your cGPA for all courses to ensure that you're meeting the 3.0 minimums that almost all programs have! 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, alh157 said:

I have corrected the link. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. 

 

Okay! I added quite a few comments. Overall you're definitely on the right track. Organization is solid. Flow is good. Mostly transitions are there, which is really hard for most writers. Mechanics are great and there are few, if any, issues with grammar. 

My big issues is that much of the language and stories are too passive. I made some edits that reflect a more direct tone. I do think you need to find a way to make this essay more about you and answering the "Why PA" question, and less about the patients and providers that you have encountered along the way. Too many observations here with little insight after as to how these experiences drove you towards the profession.

All that being said, I think that with a couple more rounds of editing you will be ready to go!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Welcome to the Physician Assistant Forum! This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. Learn More