guitargal321 Posted August 27, 2018 Share Posted August 27, 2018 (edited) Hello all, Thank you for taking the time to read this. I am currently working as an MA at a Christian-based free clinic where we serve the uninsured and homeless in the 5 surrounding counties. I volunteered at this clinic in college and joined full time staff 9 months ago. I absolutely love my job, but I feel called to become a PA and serve patients as a provider. I am currently applying to PA school and was offered an interview at Mercer, EVMS in Norfolk, Emory, and Wingate University in Hendersonville. I have also applied to Duke and Wake Forest but I haven't heard back from those two schools yet. I am engaged to a wonderful man whom I love dearly, and we will be getting married next April. We dated long distance for 3 years (we met through a mutual friend and we went to different colleges 1.5 hours apart). He recently finished his Ph. D. and accepted a job in Asheville NC, which is 3 hours away from where I work now. He has always been very supportive of my decision to pursue becoming a PA. After we get married, we will live together in Asheville starting in April until PA school starts next year, probably July or August 2019. I was accepted at Mercer (their application timeline was about 6 months earlier than the others) but turned it down because that program starts in January 2019 and the campus is 3 hours away from Asheville. I wanted to avoid planning a wedding while in PA school. I also wanted to try my hand at some of the better schools, especially Emory, Wake and Duke. Wingate is the only PA program with continued accreditation close to Asheville (30 minutes), while the 3 other schools I am interested in are at least 2 hours away. I am excited to interview at Wingate and don't hold anything against the school, but at the same time I would like to at least visit other schools that have been established for a longer period of time and are considered some of the best PA programs in the country. My question is this: are any of you PA students out there in a long distance marriage? Am I crazy for not wanting to sell myself short? Please know that I love my fiance very much, but at the same time this program won't last forever. It is also possible for me to arrange rotations in Asheville if I go to a school other than Wingate. Long distance is all we have ever known, and I am so looking forward to living in the same place as him but I also worked VERY hard in undergrad to earn the grades, test scores and experience to even have the chance to interview at these higher-end programs. I also want to be equipped to become the best PA I can be for my future patients. Any thoughts or experiences are welcome. Thank you! Edited August 27, 2018 by guitargal321 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator rev ronin Posted August 27, 2018 Administrator Share Posted August 27, 2018 One woman in my PA class did it successfully. She had been married a bit longer when starting PA school, I believe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meumitsuki Posted August 27, 2018 Share Posted August 27, 2018 I'm doing this right now, but we've been married for 15 years. Since you've already been long distance and made it work it I think you'll be fine. And since your future husband just earned his PhD, he knows the rigors of study involved. Best wishes to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frenchy Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 It can be done. I lived 4 hours away from my wife during school. She had a very flexible work schedule. We saw each other most weekends. She would come to where I was on Thursday evenings and would leave to go home on Sunday mornings. She was totally understanding about study time and rotation hours. We were married for 28 years when I started PA school. I was in the military for 21 years so we knew how to do long distance. The program I went to allowed us to arrange our own rotations any where we wanted. So consider this when picking a program. Do it now when you are younger than I was.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest thatgirlonabike Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 It's up to you to figure out your priorities. I would never turn down a spot in a very competitive market like PA school for anyone. I've been with my partner for 7 years and he will be staying in Asheville with a job he loves and I will be going to PA school wherever I get accepted. We will see how the chips fall. I hope our relationship makes it through and I am very optimistic but I am certainly not putting my life on hold for ANYONE. Don't worry about getting married right now if you want to go to PA school. If you need the benefits of marriage go sign some papers at the courthouse and plan your wedding for when you finish school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScrubLife Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 (edited) My PA school starts this September on the east coast. I am going to be moving solo from Oregon since my husband has a great job here in Portland. I have no advice since it hasn't started just yet, but you won't be alone in the long-distance marriage situation. Edited August 31, 2018 by ScrubLife Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KindnessMatters Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 My PA school starts in two weeks and I too am moving 8 hours away from my husband because he's finishing up medical school! I'd rather just go to school now and get it done in the 27 months for hopefully a lifetime to be together! I didn't like the idea of long distance at all, but I care a lot about my career and can't wait to start school! You're definitely not alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moleashish Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 Doing it right now. My wife is in the west coast, i am going to school in the east coast. It's tough, but she is understanding and we talk as much as we can, face time, etc. Luckily she will be moving for her school soon about 2 hours from my program so we have planned out to alternate weekends driving to meet one another. As many have stated, it's all about what are your priorities. Many of my classmates like myself got married right before the program started. Many are in a long distance relationship, and one is getting married in couple months. Just like @thatgirlonabike said, I would not put my goals on hold. This was all possible because me and my wife had many conversations and understood fully, without a doubt what being in PA school would be like and how our relationship would have to be adjusted for the next two years. Good luck with your application. Hopefully you get interviews and get accepted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncsunavypac Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 Several of my classmates were in long distance relationships 12+ hours from each other during PA school. Don't have a lot to echo that others haven't already, but it definitely can be done. Personally, I was nearly in a situation where my only acceptance was at a school in New York and my newlywed husband of 8 months had just taken a job in Florida so for a few days (until I received my acceptance at the Florida school) we thought we were going to be long distance as newlyweds. It was a tough pill to swallow but you do it because you know other interviews/acceptances may not happen (and this was 5 years ago...I can't imagine how much more competitive it is getting by the year!) In the long run it would totally be worth it to do long distance for a short time for a lifetime of pay off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessH Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 On 8/29/2018 at 9:25 AM, ScrubLife said: My PA school starts this September on the east coast. I am going to be moving solo from Oregon since my husband has a great job here in Portland. I have no advice since it hasn't started just yet, but you won't be alone in the long-distance marriage situation. Looks like I may be in the same boat as you! My wife & I live in Oregon and I'm about to interview in Boston. Please keep us posted on how the transition goes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ht213 Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 On 8/26/2018 at 8:43 PM, guitargal321 said: Hello all, Thank you for taking the time to read this. I am currently working as an MA at a Christian-based free clinic where we serve the uninsured and homeless in the 5 surrounding counties. I volunteered at this clinic in college and joined full time staff 9 months ago. I absolutely love my job, but I feel called to become a PA and serve patients as a provider. I am currently applying to PA school and was offered an interview at Mercer, EVMS in Norfolk, Emory, and Wingate University in Hendersonville. I have also applied to Duke and Wake Forest but I haven't heard back from those two schools yet. I am engaged to a wonderful man whom I love dearly, and we will be getting married next April. We dated long distance for 3 years (we met through a mutual friend and we went to different colleges 1.5 hours apart). He recently finished his Ph. D. and accepted a job in Asheville NC, which is 3 hours away from where I work now. He has always been very supportive of my decision to pursue becoming a PA. After we get married, we will live together in Asheville starting in April until PA school starts next year, probably July or August 2019. I was accepted at Mercer (their application timeline was about 6 months earlier than the others) but turned it down because that program starts in January 2019 and the campus is 3 hours away from Asheville. I wanted to avoid planning a wedding while in PA school. I also wanted to try my hand at some of the better schools, especially Emory, Wake and Duke. Wingate is the only PA program with continued accreditation close to Asheville (30 minutes), while the 3 other schools I am interested in are at least 2 hours away. I am excited to interview at Wingate and don't hold anything against the school, but at the same time I would like to at least visit other schools that have been established for a longer period of time and are considered some of the best PA programs in the country. My question is this: are any of you PA students out there in a long distance marriage? Am I crazy for not wanting to sell myself short? Please know that I love my fiance very much, but at the same time this program won't last forever. It is also possible for me to arrange rotations in Asheville if I go to a school other than Wingate. Long distance is all we have ever known, and I am so looking forward to living in the same place as him but I also worked VERY hard in undergrad to earn the grades, test scores and experience to even have the chance to interview at these higher-end programs. I also want to be equipped to become the best PA I can be for my future patients. Any thoughts or experiences are welcome. Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guitargal321 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 Hi catsandscrubs! Thanks for posting. I was just re-reading my original post now that I've been married for 6 months and been at Wake for 5 of those months away from my husband. It has definitely been tough! I think the key to making it work is having a supportive partner who understands that PA school is more than a full-time job...you are responsible for ingesting and applying boatloads of information and falling behind has serious consequences. We all want to be top-notch providers one day! I see my husband every weekend - right now he drives 2.5 hours to see me about 3 out of 4 weekends a month with me driving to see him the 4th weekend. Listening to recorded lectures in the car has been really helpful for me! I have been trying to work as hard as I can during the week to be able to spend time with him on the weekends (even though I still have to study!) We do something fun on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Carving out time to just be present with one another is so important for maintaining a healthy relationship. I can't imagine getting through PA school without my husband. He helps with cooking, shopping, errands etc when I do have to study. I would encourage you to mail handwritten letters to each other if you and your partner will be in different places. It gives us something to look forward to when we go to the mailbox and it's way more meaningful than a text message. He does admit that he feels lonely at times, but we know it's temporary and we talk on the phone every day (often while I'm cooking or doing laundry to maximize time where I can.) It's not easy but please know that you are not alone! There are 2 other students in my class of 88 who are doing long distance marriage as well. I hope this helps! Feel free to message me if you have any other questions/comments! 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FingersCrossed Posted November 6, 2019 Share Posted November 6, 2019 My wife and I are doing the long distance thing now; she is a post-doc in psych 2 states away. It is hard.... but we know it is just temporary. And, we chose this... it has been our plan for years, and I was fortunate to get in to my top choice PA school. No advice, just know that you're not alone. Hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.