Rough Draft Personal Statement- Seeking any advice

[brendanavery10]

Hi, 

I am currently applying to PA schools, and would welcome any feedback on my personal statement to make sure I am on the right track. As some background information, I recently graduated from JMU with my BS in health sciences on the pre-PA track. Unfortunately, my summers were spent working to save up for school, rent, bills, etc. That being said, I was unable to pursue a license or certification to achieve patient contact hours during my breaks from undergrad, and my university did not offer any classes to achieve a license or cert. My goal during school was to focus on grades, for I could make up the hours later on, but not the grades. Since graduating I have received my EMT-B certification and began running with a local rescue squad. The small amount of numbers I currently have is probably the weakest part of my application. That being said, the aim of my personal statement is to tie experiences and personal traits I have gained through out my life to the roles, responsibilities, and characteristics of a PA. I touch briefly on a few experiences that are relevant, but I believe that there cannot be a spontaneous moment where one decides to be a PA, it is more of a growth and development approach. I would like to see if others believe I am on the right path of thought. This is a preliminary draft and I am aware that the is a lot of "excessive fat" that needs to be trimmed, but I wanted to put all my ideas down first.

I welcome any feedback, even harsh if need be, on the attached personal statement. I have also attached my resume as reference for any advice or additions to the personal statement. 

Thank you! 

PA CASPA PS.docx

Post Grad Resumè copy.docx

[sbarot]

This looks really good! Def agree with the line you cut out.