Jump to content

Recommended Posts

A year ago I posted my personal statement on here and I got tough love for it - which I super appreciated! I never did apply last year's cycle because life got in the way but I'm feeling like 2018 is my year and I'm tired of sitting here and not at least giving it a chance and applying. Anyway, please let me know what you think! I really need the help and any and all comments on it will make me over the moon :) Thank you so much for taking the time to read it.

The question on CASPA is - Please explain why you are interested in being a Physician Assistant.

 

Personal Statement 2.docx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I read through your updated PS as well as your original PS. The difference in the quality and substance between the two is night and day. This is not to say that your work here is done, however. As it is, your updated PS is far from polished and still needs a fair amount of work.

Some quick notes:

You're currently over the character limit by 770. No need to worry here, though, you have tendency to be verbose and have quite a few sentences that can be omitted without subtracting much from the content. 

Erroneous statements: "having more time to see patients," not in this world.

Some ideas need to be fleshed out, more showing and less telling. Adding on to this, I'm not sure exactly how much PCE you have, but you didn't mention anything about it except for a casual sentence in your concluding paragraph.

I will try to go through and mark up exactly what I mean and send it to you if I have time. It's way too late now and I should best be in bed. 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow. Thank you so much for your response you're awesome :) I do agree I need to add more about my PCE but I just don't know how without going over 2 pages! It's really hard. I'm going back and trying my best to make my sentence shorter. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
43 minutes ago, ProspectiveHealth said:

Since posting this question I've updated my Personal Statement so if anyone can do a quick skim through and let me know what you think I would greatly appreciate it! <3

 

Personal Statement (2)

The Google Doc requires permission. But based on the first one I agree with Aware. A tad bit verbose and the story could use a bit more fluidity. Also a bit overly specific concerning how you came to find yourself applying to PA programs.

Would recommend more continuous flow, less verbosity and cliche phrases, and less drawn out specificity (e.g. you don't have to explain why you would rather be a PA than a NP or a MD, just explain why you want to be a PA). <- That was the same advice I got too (the only thing you end up doing is stating the obvious, and/or exposing gaps in your understanding).

On the up side, sounds very sincere and shows you can relate to the patient experience, also demonstrates personal growth over time. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Anachronist said:

The Google Doc requires permission. But based on the first one I agree with Aware. A tad bit verbose and the story could use a bit more fluidity. Also a bit overly specific concerning how you came to find yourself applying to PA programs.

Would recommend more continuous flow, less verbosity and cliche phrases, and less drawn out specificity (e.g. you don't have to explain why you would rather be a PA than a NP or a MD, just explain why you want to be a PA). <- That was the same advice I got too (the only thing you end up doing is stating the obvious, and/or exposing gaps in your understanding).

On the up side, sounds very sincere and shows you can relate to the patient experience, also demonstrates personal growth over time. 

Rats, sorry! I made it public now - Personal Statement REVISED

I agree with what you're saying and to be honest those were the parts that I felt super iffy about anyway :) I changed it quite a bit and think it's a bit more fleshed out now. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Looks quite good, at this point it becomes an issue of style, and everyone speaks best in their own voice. Don't be afraid to sleep on it for a couple days and revisit it several times. I think I revised/rewrote mine at least 4 or 5 times, and I consider myself an"efficient" writer.

Only 2 points. 1 - I would suggest instead of "despite something something autonomy" to make it positive (e.g. something about the benefit of being part of a healthcare team), or leave out that sentence altogether.

2 - I'm not a historian (so if you know for sure, disregard the following), but I don't know how accurate the WWII/veteran thing is. The first PA program at Duke was in 1965, 20 years after the end of the war. My grandfather graduated from med school in the mid 50's and he was too young to serve in WWII. I would imagine most of the first PAs were not WWII vets (unless they were unusually old at the time for some reason; ~37 at a minimum), thus I don't see the connection.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 4/12/2018 at 3:11 PM, Anachronist said:

Looks quite good, at this point it becomes an issue of style, and everyone speaks best in their own voice. Don't be afraid to sleep on it for a couple days and revisit it several times. I think I revised/rewrote mine at least 4 or 5 times, and I consider myself an"efficient" writer.

Only 2 points. 1 - I would suggest instead of "despite something something autonomy" to make it positive (e.g. something about the benefit of being part of a healthcare team), or leave out that sentence altogether.

2 - I'm not a historian (so if you know for sure, disregard the following), but I don't know how accurate the WWII/veteran thing is. The first PA program at Duke was in 1965, 20 years after the end of the war. My grandfather graduated from med school in the mid 50's and he was too young to serve in WWII. I would imagine most of the first PAs were not WWII vets (unless they were unusually old at the time for some reason; ~37 at a minimum), thus I don't see the connection.

I agree with your points and will revise. I read the history of the PA profession wrong haha I gotta change that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 4/15/2018 at 0:14 AM, Doppio_Espresso said:

If it were my PS, I would entirely delete your first paragraph. I think your 2nd paragraph is strong and catchy enough to be your introduction. 

I've heard this from a couple different people as well so I will go ahead and do that. Definitely gives me space for more characters. Thanks!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.




  • Similar Content

    • By sjrack
      5 years ago my wife and I participated in a sweat equity program to help build our current home and 4 other homes in our neighborhood. I'm wanting to include this experience since it involved helping others in my community that fell within a certain lower income bracket, but I want to label it correctly in CASPA. My current thinking is that I can mark it as "volunteer" and also check that it was "compensated." Even though we didn't receive any money, we built equity in our home by building it ourselves along with the help of the other families. Does this sound ok? Or should I label it as something else completely?
      Thank you!
    • By Southpaw45
      All,
      Just wanted to let you know from last years experience so you don't have the same issue. 
      Background:  Wanted to hit the Aug 1 deadlines, so submitted  and was verified prior to deadline.
      Had transcripts and other items from summer that arrived at CASPA after application was verified.
      Two Items to note:
      1 - Any grades after verification will not be updated into the GPA calculation (I can understand that).
      2 - CASPA will update the file, however if you submit another application, CAPSA sends the original file to the school - Not the updated one.
           YOU will need to inform the school to go get the UPDATED file, otherwise they will still see your original file.
      I did not know this and may have missed out on schools looking at what I thought was an updated file only to find out later, that they were not seeing the updated version.  If I would have known this, I may have either waited (missed the Aug deadline) or more than likely told the schools they had to go into the system to see the latest file (CASPA's advice).
      I found this out too late for last years cycle....Posting this so others may avoid this.
      Good Luck!
       
    • By Farafish260
      I just had all of my transcripts uploaded by CASPA. And, I’ve approved them, but do I have to match the prerequisites to the programs or will CASPA do that for me if I opt out? Thx 
    • By Finntastic
      Just wondering if anyone knows how long (in general) it takes for a mailed transcript to be sent to and processed by CASPA? I submitted an order through parchment last Friday. The status reads "Delivered", but I've yet to see anything in CASPA.
    • By sjrack
      I have requested letters of recommendation from 3 people (a PA, a previous manager, and a former professor). The professor has told me that he may not get the letter done in time due to his busy schedule. I asked another professor if she could and she has agreed.
      My dilemma is that I know professor 1 will be able to write a much better LOR than professor 2. Let's say that they both end up writing the LORs and get them submitted on time. The schools I am applying to only require 3 LORs. Does anyone know which one would be disregarded? Would it go in the order that I sent the requests out? Or would it go by the order of which the LORs are actually received by CASPA? I wouldn't want professor 2's letter to take the place of professor 1's unless professor 1 were not able to submit the LOR in time.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Welcome to the Physician Assistant Forum! This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. Learn More