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I can't be a PA anymore


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I feel like I (we?) need an update.  It's been over a year since OP posted.  How are you feeling now?  Did you get into a better spot?

Also, thanks for everyone's suggestions.  Reading 2 yrs of comments on a common but overwhelming issue was enlightening.  🙂

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  • 2 months later...

Update...still in the same position. I am tolerating my current situation as I am a medical secretary, not respected by any of the staff, but am able to afford rent and my student loans. I'm a bitch but I don't get paid like a bitch. I have 6 years left on my loans which is really nothing. My plan is to go back to school during this time and once the loan is paid off start a new career. However I am finding it difficult to switch as it has been difficult to piece together what is needed and what schools offer. I want to pursue a career in physics, this is vague I know, but I know I enjoyed it while in school. (Why didn't I pursue it in school- because depression is a bitch). Now trying to "restart" everything seems difficult. However I may not be looking in the right areas. I have tried to reach out to schools (minimal/generic info) and tried to reach out to anyone in the physics societies/associations for guidance. Does anyone have any advice? Or have an idea I haven't thought of? 

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I am burned out as well in my current career as an Engineer, now looking to becoming a PA.  Reading this thread is very eye opening and given me a lot to consider.

OP, along with engineering degrees, I have a degree in Physics.  Its not a very useful degree to actually do physics unless you go on to get a PhD.  Most of my physics classmates went on be software developers, teach, or do something completely unrelated to what they studied in school.  The one guy I know who did go on to get a PhD in physics ended up being a professional gambler.   

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On 3/3/2020 at 2:12 PM, Nuke64 said:

I am burned out as well in my current career as an Engineer, now looking to becoming a PA.  Reading this thread is very eye opening and given me a lot to consider.

OP, along with engineering degrees, I have a degree in Physics.  Its not a very useful degree to actually do physics unless you go on to get a PhD.  Most of my physics classmates went on be software developers, teach, or do something completely unrelated to what they studied in school.  The one guy I know who did go on to get a PhD in physics ended up being a professional gambler.   

F*** ..... I thought of physics as I enjoyed it in college, there's more math, and it's something I could slowly build up to/work on. I figured I would need advanced degrees to do anything with physics which I feel would give me some structure/goal for life (always having something to work towards or something to strive for). I started doubting doing this as my idea was too vague and I was reading things similar to what you wrote. Your post just put the nail in the coffin (not a negative, just a good reality check). 

I don't know what the hell to do from here. I'm lost, as all my PAs friends love what they do. Sure they hate the bureaucracy, insurances, and arrogant docs but overall they're content. I honestly cannot say one thing I like about being a PA. At this point .... I just rather not be here 

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19 hours ago, ctPA0307 said:

I don't know what the hell to do from here. I'm lost, as all my PAs friends love what they do. Sure they hate the bureaucracy, insurances, and arrogant docs but overall they're content. I honestly cannot say one thing I like about being a PA. At this point .... I just rather not be here 

Check out the book, So Good They Can't Ignore You. It talks about trading in career capital along your quest to finding a job you love. At face value, I know this seems irrelevant, but for someone not happy with or questioning their situation, it is an eye-opener and describes what it takes to love what you do. 

Looking back at my previous job, it met most if not all the criteria to love what I did. And for the first three years, I did love the job. But after five years, I was burnt out and the company started changing. I decided to move on. Looking back, there were some things I could've and should've done before jumping ship but moving through life and jobs is what teaches us valuable lessons. Take a gander at the book and see what you think. And good luck to you. You're not alone. 

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On 3/11/2020 at 10:38 AM, ctPA0307 said:

F*** ..... I thought of physics as I enjoyed it in college, there's more math, and it's something I could slowly build up to/work on. I figured I would need advanced degrees to do anything with physics which I feel would give me some structure/goal for life (always having something to work towards or something to strive for). I started doubting doing this as my idea was too vague and I was reading things similar to what you wrote. Your post just put the nail in the coffin (not a negative, just a good reality check). 

I don't know what the hell to do from here. I'm lost, as all my PAs friends love what they do. Sure they hate the bureaucracy, insurances, and arrogant docs but overall they're content. I honestly cannot say one thing I like about being a PA. At this point .... I just rather not be here 

If there's anything in life I've learned--it's that the people you work with/work for end up being 95% of your happiness or unhappiness. My short term advice is to find a more positive work environment, with people you enjoy being around. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

OP have you considered maybe a position working in public health? I have a friend who works for an early detection cancer screening program, and they help accumulate data to educate patients on the importance of self exam and screenings, as well as identify the barriers to healthcare. Most of it is focused on identifying how to improve health outcomes for patients and getting patients to go get screened. While its not quite like being a PA, it gives you an opportunity to use some of your PA knowledge, but not put you in a position where you'd feel like a bad PA making medical decisions. Instead you can do referral work (I am thinking like a public health nurse that's not working in clinical setting, but more administrative) or oversee clinical staff that work with population groups. This may be a route for you? And there are so many online 1 year MPH programs that don't break the bank that you could do. 

Also there are many avenues within public health that may allow you to blend some of your original interests in pursuing medicine from the start. Not sure, but this may be something to look into and just learn more about. 

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On 3/3/2020 at 11:41 AM, ctPA0307 said:

Update...still in the same position. I am tolerating my current situation as I am a medical secretary, not respected by any of the staff, but am able to afford rent and my student loans. I'm a bitch but I don't get paid like a bitch. I have 6 years left on my loans which is really nothing. My plan is to go back to school during this time and once the loan is paid off start a new career. However I am finding it difficult to switch as it has been difficult to piece together what is needed and what schools offer. I want to pursue a career in physics, this is vague I know, but I know I enjoyed it while in school. (Why didn't I pursue it in school- because depression is a bitch). Now trying to "restart" everything seems difficult. However I may not be looking in the right areas. I have tried to reach out to schools (minimal/generic info) and tried to reach out to anyone in the physics societies/associations for guidance. Does anyone have any advice? Or have an idea I haven't thought of? 

I just serendipitously discovered this thread at what I consider to be my lowest point in PA school. Based off of all your posts, you *REALLY* remind me of my younger self. I used to be super hard on myself like you, with lofty ideals and high expectations of how people should be. It took me a long time to realize that I was wrong and that my approach to life was all wrong. However, I made the unfortunate mistake of changing careers and pursuing PA as a second career before I made this realization. I though my job in fashion sucked -- I disliked my coworkers, did not connect with the visions of the companies I worked with, and thought I was destroying the planet by producing more junk. So I quit. I graduated loan free just to take out loans for school. I left an easy (but not very well paying job) to work with patients... only to realize that nothing was different. In fact, it was worse. You had all these providers running around thinking that they are super smart and acting like they really care, but it's the complete opposite. You think you're helping sick people heal, but you're just enabling their bad habits. This realizing was crushing to me. But I found someone along the way who helped me realize that this is the reality of the world in general. The same underlying bs exists whether you're in medicine, fashion, or some field of physics. This is because the underlying factor in every profession is people -- and people are just awful. I stuck with it, got into PA school, and I plan on finishing and becoming a PA. Why? Because even though I hate working with patients and other providers, I don't hate it as much as some of the other things I have done in my life. I saw a prior post where someone stated that half his class doesn't even practice as PAs anymore. I think the biggest issue with this is that so many people commit to medicine at such a young age and they DO NOT know what they're getting themselves into. How old were you when you graduated? I'm the oldest in my class at age 30, while most of my classmates just turned 22. It's obvious that most of them will not be able to handle the challenges that they will encounter in the future just simply due to their immaturity and lack of real life experiences, and that most of them will not be PAs in 10 years simply because its not what they want to do. This is terrible since there is a shortage of providers, and so much time and money is being spent on training people who ultimately don't want to do the work because they were not right for it. To circle back to my point, even though I don't love the patient care aspect, I want to be a PA because I want to become a more useful member of society than someone who just produces disposable fashion products. 

I skimmed most of these replies, and I don't think anyone else has given you this exact piece of info yet: Focus on paying off your loans ASAP. I know you said you have 6 years left, but if you can find some way to do it faster, DO IT. I think your outlook on your life will change significantly when you're able to start putting money away. You can start saving for early retirement (especially if you hate being a PA so much), or have more disposable income to invest in yourself. That leads me to my next point -- find something outside of being a PA to help establish your identity. Finding something that you like to do outside of work and learn to see your job as a means to an end. You are lucky in that your license enables you to work a very stable, in demand job. No matter what happens in the economy, someone will pay you to work, even if you suck at it. In fact, people don't even care if you do actually suck (again, something I've learned through life). They just need you to work. I'm not sure if you'll find anything that I've written helpful. I'm also not going to deny that I feel as if I'm trying to talk to my younger self. But with that being said, I do feel like I've been in your shoes and understand a bit of what you're going through. I already see that you've adjusted your perceptions and that it has helped you a bit. Continue to adjust the way you see your job, and continue to grow as a person outside of being a PA. That in itself can help you become a better PA. 

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12 hours ago, FormerFashionDesigner said:

This is because the underlying factor in every profession is people -- and people are just awful. 

Bingo!  Doesn't matter what demographic group it is because I've played with them all.  For those old enough to appreciate this statement, it sure isn't like the Marcus Welby, MD days.

Addendum:  The worst part of it is that you REALLY do want to help these folks and they won't let you.  Ugh...

Edited by GetMeOuttaThisMess
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12 hours ago, FormerFashionDesigner said:

That leads me to my next point -- find something outside of being a PA to help establish your identity. Finding something that you like to do outside of work and learn to see your job as a means to an end.

This is something that I've been working on. As for most of my life I equated work with identity so work was the most important part of my life. If my work wasn't great than I wasn't great. I'm slowly starting to be able to separate my identity and work. My friends and family have constantly told me to work on things I like but I always thought of it as them saying "distract yourself" which in my mind I would think "well that's all well and good but the issue isn't solved". However I'm now seeing it as build your identity, find what you like, etc, etc. 

I connected with everything else you wrote. I always thought as a student I was shit and everyone else was spectacular. Now working, I realize that everyone is just pulling shit out of their ass lol. People do just suck. I'm 30 now so graduated when I was 26. I have time to figure stuff out. If I eventually do I'll let you guys know 

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  • 2 weeks later...

CtPA0307, 

Sorry for this lengthy reply.  In reading your threads I feel your pain.  It seems from what I can gather, the reality of being a PA is not matched with the expectations.  Prob some Aspect of depression not helping you much.  Youre correct in your assessments of many providers. (But not all)  They do pull stuff out their arses, dosc and also APPs, especially the dishonest frightened ones looking to impress attendings. They dont all actually care about the or their patients and this is cemented in you, when you realize they dont care about how they treat you either.  You are someone to make them money or for another APP to step on.  They dont respect you, sometimes. They feel by hiring you, they have a personal assistant to dump all the difficult, tedious, unpleasant and frustrating  tasks onto, as well as expect you to perform.  
 

you’re obviously aware that you “know what you don’t  know”. Thats great!  As far as being a good or bad PA, perhaps.  But I think you care about the patient and doing a good job and are in a climate where youre Possibly being used and disrespected. Not all physicians will treat you bad.  But their staff will treat you in accordance with the doc. That is theyll model physicians behavior to remain in favor themselves, (think sycophant) disgusting.  
 

Maybe you want a predictable straight-forward, black and white job with Known, regularly occurring expectations. The puzzling of medicine, the riddles and red herrings are enough to drive one crazy if this kind of game isn’t fun for you. Plasticity is required.  There are a lot of jackasses out there pretending to have wanted to care for people but overall, never Really did and had something to prove , wanted status or money or all of it and hate being doctors too. I hear about it every day. I work with about 70 different doctors and half of them are miserable, negative and trying to figure out how to get out of medicine or find another endeavor. They’re all quite miserable and what do they do? they hand it over to the APP‘s and say, its your job to take it (old culture of a useless assistant) not true though. 
 

Options: have you considered working in a sleep-study lab? Boring, routine and usually typical.  Ive never done it but I use to be RT and we did those until labs became lucrative and they hired APPs to run them.  Other options are occupational medicine and get this....(dont faint)...PEDS.  Here is why......I work in emergency medicine and while I was waiting to credential I took a temporary job in outpatient pediatrics much to my dismay. I didn’t like pediatrics in rotation and I had been a respiratory therapist in my previous career and did peds/Neo ICU and I didn’t want anything to do with kids. What I found was a bunch of little hilarious people that were sick when they were sick, and didn’t pretend to be sick when they weren’t. It was fun, I laughed every day and I could not believe how hilarious and bright, and so totally comical the children were. And it was some of the easiest work I’ve ever done. (The parents are not as bad as everyone says they are). It’s predictable for the most part, you can make a living at it and it’s very lighthearted for the most part. Outpatient peds patients are not too sick and if they are you send them to the hospital. I do have to say the kids with ADD and that type of thing are a drag as far as working them up and trying to solve the problem without putting them on drugs. It’s often due to parental neglect or poor parenting skills and there’s really nothing wrong with the kids except the parents keep handing them a phone or electronics and lack spending the time with them. But other than that it was great.

I feel your pain and after 10 years I don’t want to be a PA anymore either. I’m completely disheartened and upset but what I’ve learned about people Who are my supervisors. I actually do like taking care of the patients but what I hate are the things that my supervising physicians are doing to me And the system they work in because of their own stress. Everyone seems hassled and annoyed. So I feel like a burden no matter how hard I work. They are all trying to manipulate the system and run each PA the way they see fit. I cannot go to work and expect to do the same thing every day because each physician has a particular way they want to run the PAs. This has occurred in the last couple of years and seems to be worse with each new graduating class. I wish you luck and I hope that you can find something where you feel more value and have some hope. You are much better at what you do than  you know because otherwise you wouldn’t be worrying about not being good enough for the patients. 
Take care, be safe.  Kind regards. 


 

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  • 2 years later...

Just wanted to give an update- I'm getting the f*** out. Finally at a place where I can comfortably start over. I'm looking into medical coding, sonographer, or nuclear med tech (if anyone else needs ideas). Most likely do coding then move on to sonographer but who knows, maybe I won't do any of that. All I know is that this is over 

Thanks for the replies

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6 hours ago, ctPA0307 said:

Just wanted to give an update- I'm getting the f*** out. Finally at a place where I can comfortably start over. I'm looking into medical coding, sonographer, or nuclear med tech (if anyone else needs ideas). Most likely do coding then move on to sonographer but who knows, maybe I won't do any of that. All I know is that this is over 

Thanks for the replies

Best wishes. Hopefully you'll feel better doing whatever is next for you. We all come to Earth with sealed orders and maybe you're getting closer to discovering what yours are. I hope so.

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18 hours ago, ctPA0307 said:

Just wanted to give an update- I'm getting the f*** out. Finally at a place where I can comfortably start over. I'm looking into medical coding, sonographer, or nuclear med tech (if anyone else needs ideas). Most likely do coding then move on to sonographer but who knows, maybe I won't do any of that. All I know is that this is over 

Thanks for the replies

Best of luck. It takes some stones to start over and I hope you land in a good place.

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On 11/29/2022 at 11:27 AM, ctPA0307 said:

Just wanted to give an update- I'm getting the f*** out. Finally at a place where I can comfortably start over. I'm looking into medical coding, sonographer, or nuclear med tech (if anyone else needs ideas). Most likely do coding then move on to sonographer but who knows, maybe I won't do any of that. All I know is that this is over 

Thanks for the replies

I’m just getting ready to start and appreciate you sharing the challenges.  I probably have rose colored glasses on, but your journey will hopefully be an inspiration to others should they be faced with the same decision. Hoping you find peace and success wherever you land. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...
On 11/29/2022 at 12:27 PM, ctPA0307 said:

Just wanted to give an update- I'm getting the f*** out. Finally at a place where I can comfortably start over. I'm looking into medical coding, sonographer, or nuclear med tech (if anyone else needs ideas). Most likely do coding then move on to sonographer but who knows, maybe I won't do any of that. All I know is that this is over 

Thanks for the replies

I recognize it gets frustrating finding your niche. Over the years, I have discovered five general pathways in healthcare with hundreds of branches.

1. Practitioner (Too many to list!)

2. Educator (Adjunct, Professor, Certified Diabetes educator, medical device educator, etc.)

3. Researcher (Sub-Investigator, clinical research coordinator, etc.)

4. Management/Administration (Owner, CEO, COO, Department Head, Supervisor, Military officer, etc.)

5. Sales/Marketing (Pharm rep, medical device rep, etc.)

Within these "pathways," there are numerous branches that merit exploration before "getting the F out" of medicine. I haven't explored all of them, but I have dabbled in many different areas. I've taught graduate students with not much interest. I've done research in clinical trials with human subjects, very detailed oriented, collecting data and following protocols, after a while became boring, but the pay was good. I've worked in a corrections facility, air ambulance, hospital, clinic, etc. My suggestion is to branch out and not be ashamed/frustrated to find your niche in healthcare. At a minimum, many States offer volunteer practitioner licenses to previously licensed healthcare providers for free. Find a free clinic and volunteer a couple of shifts a month. I receive a lot of satisfaction knowing I make a difference.   

 

Edited by lifeguard
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  • 5 weeks later...

I have found this thread, read all posts. I resonate with this post. I’ve learned three things. 

1. I need to address my mental health
2. I need to leave my job/company and change my specialty (but I have no idea to what or where)                               
3. I need to remember that I’m roughly 2 years in and need to continuously learn… not just for CMEs but for myself to have a better future and reignite that passion that got me here. 

Thank you everyone. 

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8 hours ago, maybemedicine said:

I have found this thread, read all posts. I resonate with this post. I’ve learned three things. 

1. I need to address my mental health
2. I need to leave my job/company and change my specialty (but I have no idea to what or where)                               
3. I need to remember that I’m roughly 2 years in and need to continuously learn… not just for CMEs but for myself to have a better future and reignite that passion that got me here. 

Thank you everyone. 

^^^ This!

If you feel like running away from your life, then you're probably in the wrong place. You may feel like you need to change everything (maybe including your underwear!) but that is often just your emotions blowing up. This happens to many people along the way. I've learned to treat it as a signal that I'm in the wrong place (maybe it wasn't the wrong place to start, but it is now) and that I need to start exploring.

I became a PA first by shadowing a bit and then taking prerequisites at night: that's one way. I moved from full-time clinical to a mix of teaching and clinic by first volunteering to give some guest lectures and then coming on quarter time and then half time. 

You certainly don't have to do what I did but it seems useful to me for you to take your feelings of being out of place and using them productively to begin looking around at options. There are often more options than you know so spread the word among your friends and explore. Just knowing that there are other things out there to do can make you feel better as you search around.

Good luck!

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