Please tell me what you guys think of my PS. It's in its final stages

[rizzol19]

When individuals have asked what drove me to pursue a career in medicine, my response revolved around making a difference in patients' lives. However, when I reflect back to what sustains me to continue pursuing a career in medicine, I have the opposite answer. I continue because of the difference the patients I have encountered made in my life, and the values that these individuals have taught me. One patient that is imprinted in my mind is a two year old girl who was diagnosed with acute Myolectic leukemia a year and a half ago. We would play peek-a-boo while she received her chemotherapy, sing the "Elmo Song" while her port dressing was changed, and she would chase me down the hallway during her post chemo hydration, as her dad wheeled her IV pole, attempting to keep up. This patient has shown fearlessness, resiliency, and a tenacious love of life throughout her illness. The strength she and her family have shown has been an inspiration for me to continue my journey to become a physician assistant.

 

My venture pursuing medical education has been a demanding and arduous experience thus far. After graduating Rowan University I was accepted to the American University of the Caribbean. I attended this school for only one year due to my academic performance. This event allowed me to re-evaluate my approach to fulfilling my ambitions. A primary point of improvement I focused on was the method of studying I was utilizing. For the past two years I have attended graduate school at William Paterson University, and have taken advantage of this time by reshaping my learning technique in addition to consulting a study advisor to identify techniques that would enable me to grasp and retain material to the best of my ability. This summer I validated that the modifications I applied to my studies improved my performance. I challenged myself by enrolling in two summer classes while working full time, which required me to learn a large amount of material during an abbreviated term. During this time I applied effective studying, prioritization and time management to excel in both of the courses. Although my educational path has been saturated with challenges, it has made me a stronger individual, and has better equipped me for the future trials I will encounter in my career.

 

In addition to evaluating my performance as a student, I reassessed my ultimate goal within the medical field. While working as a patient care technician, I was able to observe several medical professions first hand, and also establish relationships with colleagues to arrange shadowing opportunities. I had the opportunity to shadow a physician assistant, and what set this profession apart from others I had observed was the wide range of medical tasks and skills that were delegated to the physician assistant, whereas other positions had a narrower range of responsibilities to the patient. I appreciated that I could potentially conduct a patient history and exam, assist in a procedure, and complete teaching with a newly diagnosed patient all in one day. The work necessary to provide positive outcomes for my patients and fellow colleagues would keep me consistently motivated to meet and surpass the high expectations and daily challenges that are required for this profession.

 

My professional and academic experiences have motivated me to move forward with my education. I feel that pursuing a physician assistant certification is the right decision for me because it is an evolving profession that allows me to play an active role in patient care by treating, monitoring, and anticipating the needs of patients. Although I have grown as an individual through these endeavors, the cornerstones of my motivation stem from what a two year old battling cancer had taught me; demonstrating strength in unfathomable times, and recognizing the positive in difficult situations.

[kschill]

I would mention in the 1st paragraph that you encountered this two yo girl as a patient care tech. It is not clear until the end, what HCE you had.

[Beorp]

Since the child with cancer is something you start with and come pack to in your PS, you may want to be sure you have the right name of the cancer.

[mktalon]

I have two critiques:

1. It reads like you had a thesaurus next to you and you were constantly trying to find more complicated ways of saying things that can be said with more simple language.

2. I am not saying this is true of you, but it what I read into your ps: you barely made it through premed so had to apply to Caribbean schools. You flunked out of Caribbean med school so are now trying to get into PA school. I'm not trying to dis you, but that is what your ps reads like to me. Even if hat IS your story, I think there are better ways to write thiso you don't sound lime PA school is your last ditch effort to practice medicine.

[Corpsman2PA]

I have two critiques:

1. It reads like you had a thesaurus next to you and you were constantly trying to find more complicated ways of saying things that can be said with more simple language.

2. I am not saying this is true of you, but it what I read into your ps: you barely made it through premed so had to apply to Caribbean schools. You flunked out of Caribbean med school so are now trying to get into PA school. I'm not trying to dis you, but that is what your ps reads like to me. Even if hat IS your story, I think there are better ways to write thiso you don't sound lime PA school is your last ditch effort to practice medicine.

 

Pretty much my thoughts exactly, especially point #2.