feedback appreciated

[kschill]

I do not have my conclusion written yet. Started this 2 days ago, before I get much further, I'd appreciate any comments and criticisms. Thanks

 

The experiences and opportunities afforded to me as a registered dietitian have deepened my commitment to a career in healthcare and instilled in me a desire to expand my role as a clinician. As a dietitian, my scope of practice is limited to the assessing and care planning of patients’ nutritional needs. While I enjoy the collaborative effort of a team oriented approach to patient care, I want to play a larger role in the comprehensive medical care of patients. Therefore, it is my strong desire to pursue training to become a clinically competent and compassionate physician assistant.

 

Originally, my interest in nutrition was borne out of a love food and cooking. In 1999 a family member was diagnosed with oropharyngeal cancer and required the placement of a gastric feeding tube. The role that enteral nutrition support played in helping a family member recover from surgery sparked my clinical interest in nutrition and led to my decision to pursue formal training in the field of nutrition. The skills and insights gained through my experiences as a graduate student, dietetic intern and team leader for a school based science enrichment program enabled me to develop into a clinically confident, empathetic registered dietitian who is dedicated to the service of others.

 

My work as part of a healthcare team in the acute care setting and in partnership with care providers in the ambulatory setting has proved invaluable to my professional and personal development. The opportunity to work closely with physician assistants; to observe the roles they fill and the functions they perform, has led me to reevaluate my own long term professional goals.

 


As a dietitian, my responsibilities include the assessment and evaluation of patients’ nutritional status. If a patient is determined to be at nutritional risk my interventions are limited to; a change or modification in the delivery of foods or nutrients, nutrition education, nutrition counseling or coordination of nutrition care. My experiences as part of a multidisciplinary healthcare team, including attendance at medical rounds and patient care conferences has strengthened and broadened my clinical knowledge base. Therefore, I often feel limited by the dietitian’s scope of practice to provide the level and type of patient care I desire.

 


Having worked with and shadowed physician assistants in trauma/general surgery and family practice, I am inspired by, their ability to provide a wide range of diagnostic and therapeutic services, their ability to coordinate patient care and develop patient management plans and the close working relationships they enjoy with supervising physicians.

 


Providing medical nutrition therapy and nutritional counseling to inpatients and outpatient clients has been an immensely rewarding part of my job. I was therefore very impressed when a number of different physician assistants I interviewed, sited being able to spend time with patients as one of the most gratifying aspects of their jobs. Having the medical training to help patients understand complex medical diagnoses and treatment options is essential to empowering patients and positively affecting health outcomes. All too often we meet with patients who do not understand how their choices and behaviors affect their health and risk for disease. As a food and nutrition expert, I am able to help patients understand the relationship between nutrition and health. However, nutrition diagnoses often exist within the context of a medical diagnosis. While the importance of improving a patient’s nutritional status cannot be overstated, the inability to directly provide other diagnostic or therapeutic services leaves me feeling unfulfilled as a healthcare provider.

 

Conclusion TBD

[Just Steve]

I like it overall. There are some grammatical mistakes and such but I'm sure you'll sort those out.

 

My lasting thought at the end of it is that you repeat yourself a few times. The second and sixth paragraph basically read the same. As well as do the third and fifth paragraph. If it is a personal statement, it doesn't tell me much about you outside of the role of dietician. I realize the application package has a lot of that sort of stuff in it, but I look at PS's as being the de facto cover page for an application. If I sat on an AdCom, I'd flip to the PS first to see if the person was interesting, could rub two brain cells together to form a cohesive thought, and actually had a clue of what the business of being a PA is all about. From there, if i was interested, then I'd look to see the rest of their application.

 

You have enough in your PS that would make me look twice at your application. I am a sucker for a little bit of life experience, especially if it includes actually being inside a real health care setting.

 

Keep at it, I think you are on the right track..I'd like to know more about what you liked/didn't like during your shadowing experiences. I wouldn't mind reading a very short blurb on a intervention that you managed as a clinician. Something to clue me in on how you problem solve. You danced around it in the fourth paragraph..I guess I'd like to see that applied to something a little more personal..something I can relate to.

 

Good luck

[kschill]

Just Steve,

Thank you. I agree with your comments and appreciate your feedback.