Moderator EMEDPA Posted June 23, 2010 Moderator 0: Hi. I am not experiencing any pain at all. I don't know why I'm even here. 1: I am completely unsure whether I am experiencing pain or itching or maybe I just have a bad taste in my mouth. 2: I probably just need a Band Aid. 3: This is distressing. I don't want this to be happening to me at all. 4: My pain is not ****ing around. 5: Why is this happening to me?? 6: Ow. Okay, my pain is super legit now. 7: I see the grim reaper coming for me and I'm scared. 8: I am experiencing a disturbing amount of pain. I might actually be dying. Please help. 9: I am almost definitely dying. 10: I am actively being mauled by a bear. 11: Blood is going to explode out of my face at any moment.
Moderator ventana Posted June 23, 2010 Moderator what about #11 - I am a drug addict in need of a fix
rudypa Posted June 23, 2010 And there will always be a patient that goes above "too serious for numbers"!!
jwells78 Posted June 23, 2010 Not bad. I love when they tell you their pain is "a 20." That's usually when I tell them to quit text-messaging and put the cheetos down for 5 seconds so I can get a history... XD 11: Blood is going to explode out of my face at any moment. lol
jmj11 Posted June 23, 2010 It is funny. I've seen patients sitting quietly, vitals normal, and they are telling me that their pain is always a 10\10. Then I'll see this stoic lady who is supine, hr 115, B/P 160/90, sweating, vomiting into the trash can, lights off and she says her pain is now up to a 5/10.
Moderator EMEDPA Posted June 23, 2010 Author Moderator yup, best use of pain scale ever: elderly guy with acute sah in obvious agony. rated his pain a 6. I asked him about that. he said a 10 was when the germans shot him in the chest 3 times in ww2. fair enough. a man who understands the scale.
Evan Posted June 23, 2010 I have imagained this exchange many times.... Pt (while texting BFF): My pain is 12/10... PA: So... nothing would hurt worse than this... Pt: That's right, nothing would hurt worse than this... PA: So... I could peel off a layer of your skin, roll you in salt, set you on fire, and roll you down a hill of broken glass into a field of cactus... and that wouldn't hurt worse????
EMSArtist Posted June 23, 2010 My favorite is always the pts that ponder the question for a while and come up with "I think my pain right now is a 3.6, but when it first started it was about 5.2..." I thought I was the one over-thinking things.
just_me Posted June 23, 2010 awesome! I will say as a patient there was one time in my life where that "rate your pain on a scale of 1-10" was the most retarded question anyone has ever asked me...now I know its standard but still.......
unewillow Posted June 24, 2010 LOL, very hilarious. I personally hate the pain scale because if someone has never had any serious pain before than yes, their stubbed toe is probably a 10/10 because they have no reference point. Whereas for me, a stubed toe would probably be about a 2 compared to the time I passed a kidney stone, which would be my 10...which would probably be about an 8 for the old guy who got shot in the chest, lol.
just_me Posted June 24, 2010 I was hit with radiator water from a car (face, chest and mouth) when I was 15 (its currently my reference point when presented with the pain scale) I remember when the nurse asked me to rate my pain but I couldnt talk with my scalded mouth and the mind numbing pain---she actually got annoyed because I couldnt/wouldnt answer her I just wanted to say...."what do you think" Giving birth still doesnt beat that........but it was a close second LOL, very hilarious. I personally hate the pain scale because if someone has never had any serious pain before than yes, their stubbed toe is probably a 10/10 because they have no reference point. Whereas for me, a stubed toe would probably be about a 2 compared to the time I passed a kidney stone, which would be my 10...which would probably be about an 8 for the old guy who got shot in the chest, lol.
Nonlegit Posted September 13, 2011 an ER tech here, and I had a military medic who picked up a stateside job that I was precepting...we spent the morning in triage and while taking VS/pain scale we of course get the usual responses - 10/10, 11/10, 1000/10 etc etc. Puzzled, he took me aside and said "what if I punched them in the face, or stabbed them or something? then what would it be?" I got the point, and as amusing as his comment was my advice to him was to not tell anyone else what he was thinking... hahaha
RetNavyPAC Posted September 26, 2011 Check this link out: It's a hilarious Brian Regan bit about the ER. AT about the 2:10 mark he talks about the pain scale
dcf221 Posted September 27, 2011 don't forget to give credit to the original author! http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/02/boyfriend-doesnt-have-ebola-probably.html
CAAdmission Posted September 27, 2011 I'm still a big fan of inventing the pain-ometer. It involves nipple clamps and electricity: "So sir, you say your pain is a 10/10. Let me just hook up this device.... there we go. Now THIS is what 10/10 feels like zzzzzzttttttttt! Was that about right?"
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